Thursday, July 17, 2008

Words, don't come so easy . . .



To break the tension of all the political bullshit that has engulfed us lately (Btw, Anwar was released on bail at 9.45am today), let me recount this little gem of an incident that occurred this morning. As some of you many already know, me is the only fooking bloke in me department.

There I was minding me own business when an email arrived from me HOD. It contained just this solitary line: "watz cunnilingus" (!!!!????!!!). Yes, that's right. So me gets up & goes over to Madam AA's office & me gives her a puzzled look - as in what's the joke, rite? She looks at me straight faced, says no joke, what does this word mean. She saw the word on Kerp's profile page (where else?).

Unable to bring meself to say anything me looks to Madam O & Szu Pau fer assistance. Nothing was forthcoming & they also were in the dark. So me had to put it as politely & delicately as me possibly could. (No, me didn't say getting "tongue fooked"!, ok).

There was a burst of girly giggles before madam AA & Szu Pau dropped another bomb-fooking-shell. "Er, what's a cunt ah?" . . . Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!

ps: This is NOT a fictionalised account or some sick joke. This happened. Today. For real.

pps: From the Merriam-Webster online dictionary:
Main Entry:
cun·ni·lin·gus

Pronunciation:
\ˌkə-ni-ˈliŋ-gəs\
Variant(s):
also cun·ni·linc·tus
\-ˈliŋ(k)-təs\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
cunnilingus, New Latin, from Latin, one who licks the vulva, from cunnus vulva + lingere to lick; cunnilinctus, New Latin, from Latin cunnus + linctus, act of licking, from lingere — more at
lick
Date:
1887
: oral stimulation of the vulva or clitoris


pps: The ladies' protestations that they are "innocent-minded" don't fooking wash with me la. What's yer take on this? Please post comment.

53 comments:

Jon-C said...

Was it a fable attempt by Szu Pau to be innocent? Wahahahaha!

This episode really made my mundane morning, i can't help laughing lah macha!

senorita.. said...

oooh, i like that word. =)

eh,what's her reaction after hearing ur explanation? suggest dictionary.com next time. lol

weiyin69 said...

Well, it is a BIG word, you know. and many aren't as well-versed you are in this, ahem, realm. Cheeky pix, by the way.

Devilish Princess said...

Thanks weiyin69, we aren't as well-versed as Bala in this...

jon-c: am innocent :)

akuani said...

Wiki everything is the way to go :) and if you google the word it'll take you to very interesting sites :))

I hope she at least knew what fellatio was or did you have to explain that as well - wiki or is it google that explains the techniques as well - not for the weak hearted no doubt.

Mark said...

How can you have never heard of those words? Once again, I question our education system and it's syllabus! :)

Achilles said...

AD: you should have told them you can't explain it, but you can fooking show it to them. hahahahahahaa.

But it is indeed a funny story. i wouldn't know how to answer if me boss ever did ask me that.

Bernard said...

Nothing to do with innocence or lack of it & I agree with Mark 'Give Me A Cocktail Or Give Me Death' Lee, I blame the education system for not encouraging people to have a better grasp of English.

Looking up the word quietly in a dictionary would have also saved your apparently innocent colleagues much embarrassment, but now that its out on your blog...TOO FOOKING LATE!! HA! HA!

PS. goes to show reading Kerp's blog does broaden one's horizons...

anfield devotee said...

JonC: Szu Pau is not amused by yer description as a "Fabled" attempt!

senorita: Canna explain it lar. Pecah perut gelak . . .

weiyin: Welcome back! Glad you like the cheeky pix. You never had a problem with BIG words did you?

devilish princess: yeah right . . .

Becky: That's a good point. Young kids in schoold only the finer details of sodomy but not this fine art of, ahem, tongue exercises . . .

akuani: No, me thank them fer asking me as it provided me with today's posting. Ha ha!

achilles: Dirty fella you . . .

anfield devotee said...

bernard: ya lah, Kerp, notorious la dude, yer blog . . .

Life's Like That said...

AD : As Ani said, have you asked them the meaning of the "Fellatio" word"?

Jon-C said...

Since they're already at it why not complete the wholt thing eh LLT? Kekekekeke!

Not amused? Then she is innocent? ;0)

senorita.. said...

hahahhahahaa... tongue exercise... fine art... whoa...

dude, u crack me up..

seriously, dictionary.com

hahahahaha

senorita.. said...

and oh yeah, i appreciate the pix. thanks for it

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hey guys,

ya la, blame my blog for everything la.

Madam AA should by now seriously consider of bookmarking sites such as wiki or dictionary.com. it’ll come in handy some day and spare the embarrassment of asking mr know-it-all Bala.

* eh boss, nice pic btw. Must have retrieved it from one of your smut external drives, I bet… Kahkahhh…

Aileen said...

OK.. its dictionary.com the next time i find some lingurous word in kerp's blog;P...

anfield devotee said...

kerp: Woi, me never claim to be a know-it-all, ok. But seriously dude, she asked coz she saw the word in yer profile. Me kid you not.

The pix will appear if you type "cunninlingus, images + cartoons", ok. But sorry, should have asked Tuan kerp from his massive collection rite . . . hee hee.

senorita: yer welcome.

JonC: Yup, Miss Pau is as pure as the driven snow . . . NOT!

LLT: Not to worry, they are following the comments here, so am sure they'll look it up quitely of they didn't know he he.

anfield devotee said...

Kerp, he he. . . there you have it, Madam A herself conformed that she found it on yer smutty site!

Sp aileen, do you know what fellatio is? The breathen here await with bated breath.

DorisL said...

"What ??!! Another one or three???" Eventho' our education system may be a contributory factor but I think there may be something else ...?? One day my good fren excitedly told me she just learnt a new word. The next thing I knew was she called one of her staff in and ask the staff to repeat the word that she just learnt but can't quite remember as it such a big word. I was like "..huh ?? you must be joking ..." Then she turn around & asked "so what's the word if it's the other way round??"

Mohan said...

AD: Dei..they're pulling your leg! getting you ready for lunch..haha! You expect me to believe an adult woman never heard of the word cunt!! ...hahaha someting like some women trying to outa me telling me she ever musterbated ever and she was 27...well your friend must be living in a monastery with the Dalai Lama...then again you never know what the LamaDude gets up to nowadays.
M.
p/s: just send them this site and they'd be educated instantly and of course safe petrol going to the local pasar malam for their porno stock!
http://sex.magicmovies.com/tags
(p/s: LLT&Tuan Kerp..something you might like too!)

anfield devotee said...

Mohan: Me fooking kid you not. Me was just as flabbergasted.

Of course the more polite vagina & the cruder Ci Bai, they were familar with la, just not the c-word.

Should have told them its a very traditional greeting which means good health or something. And then watch em greet clients ,"g'day, cunt" . . .

ps: Madam O was the one who aletrted me to this ok. She went
"Bala Bala, you never gonna believe this . . ."

Jon-C said...

So should we also educated 'em on the meaning of the word - bollocks? Kekekeke, since we're already at it.

anfield devotee said...

JOnC: What makes it all the more surprising is that me colleagues (the saintly Madam O included) are quite a foul-mouthed bunch . . .

k_saegaran said...

macha..got vacancy at your work place ah? Sounds like fun la!

Life's Like That said...

Doris : Have you had a few shots of Milo Ice in broad daylight?

Mohan : U grouping me with the Kerp Man? mana bolehlah!

AD n Jon-C : Don judge books by their covers. They are probably more knowledgeable than u 2 put together. Melayu kata : Air yang tenang jangan disangka tiada buaya!
Cantonese : "Pan Chui Sek Lo Fu". Translation : Pretend to be a pig but eat the tiger! Haha!!!!

Kopite78 said...

Bala, you the man with the ideal job lah!!!!

I agree with achilles....you should have offered to show em...after all action speaks louder than words or screams....

senorita.. said...

M,dun jump to conclusion that fast. i have fren who confessed that he nv masturbates as he is a faithful Christian and u know what, i believe him. dunno how to explain, but he's for real.

Aileen said...

Sp aileen, do you know what fellatio is? The breathen here await with bated breath.


emmmmm. NOPE.. but i shall look it up discreetly.. thank you

anfield devotee said...

Oh dear. Fellatio also tak tau. Tapi sodomy & diliwat tau.

Blame it on aileen's education or her Catholic upbringing?

ps: Aileen says the technical term she is familiar with is . . . 'servicing' . . . (!!!)

Fooking hell la

Aileen said...

WOW my ignorance .. oops innocense has brought much joy and debate...ah good good...

senorita.. said...

see,it's good to read erotica. learn a lot. =X

Aileen said...

Sodomy has been given much publicity

anfield devotee said...

aileen: Blame BN fer steering people towards sodomy rather than cunnilingus? Good point actually.

senorita: You beginning to sound like Kerp la . . .

senorita.. said...

of course, i learn from him what....... =P

Mohan said...

Senorita: think you friend altar boy is lying through his teeth! At least he must have done it to some sermon or hym or something.. maybe Psalm 69(Ministry)!
M.
p/s: Hate hate religion and the religious, the again maybe not the religious..who else can we take the piss off anyway!

senorita.. said...

okay know why i believe him? one time,when a fren accidentally brushed that part of his body, he got an erection. just like that. i mean like c'mon.. am sure it takes more than that for normal guys (who masturbates) to have an erection rite?

M,jus blif it.. there's many many types of ppl in this world. =)

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Aileen,

Oh hello there…didn’t know you were lurking around…hihi…


Mohan,

Thanks for the link, brother. Will sure to check it out.

I believe there’s another word for cunnilingus. A laymen’s term universally understood. Not that i know of, of course. This bala will pounce at any chance he can get to kena me…hehehe


Bala,

Ya la boss, i’m with surin and Achilles. Show the girls la how its properly done…hehehehehe

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hey karen,

you may find this interesting. check it out- www.literotica.com

I stumbled upon this site while googling for literary journalism and stuff like that. hihi...

anfield devotee said...

Kerp, Kopite78 & Achilles: Me wifey would like to have a word with the lot of you . . .

Mohan: Chill la brudder man. Remember the band Shelter? Krishnacore from DC me thinks. They famously gave up wanking! Hence the ultra aggressive choons! hee hee

Mohan said...

Tuan Kerp: You dirty bugger! haha(only kiddin!).. you must be enjoying the taboo stories too much dude!

AD: Maaf. Apologies this site has become PG18...hmmm...errr.. looking for someone to blame... well blame the babe senorita!

You take care, M.
p/s: AdDude never heard of Shelter but shall check it out sooner or later. I'm more of an easy muzak person. REM will be performing here next month...ahhhhh!

Mohan said...

p/s: Accept me gift in penance..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9jX1KAKp78
Am surprised how much stuff you can get on YouTube!

Azer Mantessa said...

hahaha

more than 20 years as a husband ... THIS IS A MUST DO

hahahaha

Tinesh said...

Rilly ar? Aunties dunno what cunnilingus is? My goodness!!

Tinesh said...

By the way, I posted a video of Lamb of God's Ruin..Do check it out..

senorita.. said...

Kerp.. Kerp.. Kerp... this shows that u nv stop by my blog long enough to discover that i've actually LINKED literotica.com under 'smtg different..'

and to think that i will not know of literotica.com..? he he he... naive

Anba said...

Balaji :- This incident reminds me of a situation that happened many years ago...
I was in me frens house watchin Rowan Atkinson's stage performance...on VCR...with me fren's family members etc...and suddenly Mr Atkinson mentions Fellatio...and me frens sister who was like in form 3-4 was like askin around all the ppl there "What's Fellatio...?...and everyone buat dunno...selamba like they were deaf...

anfield devotee said...

Mohan: Actually, me blames the aunties in me office la fer turning this metal blog into a soft porn site.
RE: REM - shit, haven't listened to them in a long time. U going fer the gig?

tinesh: Will do. Is it a new vid or an old one? Do you like Mastodon, me just finished downloading all the earlier stuff. Will pass you link if interested.

senorita & kerp: pertandingan to see who is a bigger perv? this gonna be a tough call la . . .

anba: Yup. Madam AA did virtually the same thing but ubfortunately fer her, she asked ME! And me most definitely did NOT keep quiet bout it. Ha ha!

senorita.. said...

"pervert

noun
1. a person whose behavior deviates from what is acceptable especially in sexual behavior"

definitely Kerp. the definition clearly describes him.

LOL

like i've said, i learn from him.. so of course he's a bigger perv

Achilles said...

AD: Admit it, actually you were hoping they would say "i still don't understand-lah... can show me ah". heheheheheheheeee..

Anyway.. agree with K_saegaran lah... got vacancy there or not. sounds like fun to work there. Sure is better than me Company.

anfield devotee said...

Achilles: Will forward yer request to HR . . .

senorita: Wonder what Kerp has to say.

Bernard said...

Kerp will of course take a leaf from the BN boys & do what they do best...deny feebly.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Again, I’m the culprit la, whats new.

Bernard, dei…

I particularly stressed on ‘stumbling upon such site’ while googling for work-related stuff…up to you people to believe la…hhehehehe…

Hey guys, Karen even had it linked to her blog. You guys tell me la who’s the bigger perv?

Could be mohan. Of all the categories available, why la he’s got that particular subject in mind? Mohan, you there brother?

Hehehehe…

And lastly to reena, my apologies…I was merely puppeting Surin and Achilles. BLAME THEM!!

kihkihhhhhhhh....

senorita.. said...

kerp,

i am just

spreading joy

by linking it

in my blog

...

ps: u're welcome.. =P