It is usually me who does the cooking in the house, so it should come as no surprise that the meals will revolve around (usually meaty) items like the Rum Bones recipe below. Very often me cooking skills will be met with a tirade of grumblings from dear wifey.
"Why must you cook so much meat?" . . . nag, nag . . . "This meal is so unbalanced & unhealthy?". . . nag, nag . . . "Can't you attempt more greens fer the sake of yer health?" etc etc.
You get the picture, rite. So after another long lecture, I kindly asked her to do the cooking fer a change. Besides, I would like to feel pampered once in a fooking while. So off she went to the market & to her credit she slaved over a hot stove fer three fooking hours.
The meal was fabulous. The menu? This is what me dear wifey considers a "healthy" meal:
1) Herbal chicken soup (ok, so far so good on the healthy diet part)
2) Deep fried pork ribs marinated in five spice powder, wine & eggs!
3) Pork Pongteh!! (fooking hell, is this oink lover's wet dream or what!?!)
4) And to round it all off, a tiny bowl of long beans stir fried with . . . wait fer it . . . siew yok (roast pork)!!!
Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed the meal but I have two pertinent questions:
1) Do any of you blokes out there also face the problems of a NAGGING wifey who is also a HYPOCRITE?
2) In light of me recent health issues, is it possible dear wifey is trying to subtly shuffle me off this mortal coil?
PS: Dear wifey, thanx fer a lovely meal although I can still feel the calories & the lard clogging up me arteries . . .
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10 comments:
well, at least the meal was great! you can do your part by not pigging out so much. and after that, drown yourself in black chinese or green tea. next, munch on fruits.
how's the gout so far?
Hey Unker Bala, would you instead prefer raw carrot, celery, broccoli, ulam sort of thing? You will definitely be thinner and healthier much faster as well.
BTW, can I have the recipes?
Bager you're a bloody walking time bomb as it is & still eating that sort of stuff-ah?
Bloody 'ell. My wifey's gotta meet your wifey mate.
Get her to learn all those porky recipes off of her.
Yummy! You belardi lucky bugger.
Fer those who want recipes, please start with me Rum Bones below.
Me point is that although I enjoyed me meal immensely, I thought she was gonna do a healthy meal given all the nagging.
Needless to say, BP reading was fooking high after such a arterie-cloggong meal (180/90)!!!
Is she secretly trying to get rid of me?!?
you wanna die ah?!? BP thru the roof and you're eating pork pongteh? you're playing russian roulette at the dining table man. next time the wife cooks that for you, just give me a call, i'll come over and pick it up. hey, i hope you read the spud juice book. now that's good for you. btw, at least your rum bones got some alcohol to dilate the arteries!
dude - just go on a meat free diet for 2 months.... loads of raw veg and fruits.... make bitter gourd juice.... trust me... it'll work...
if you want i'll go on it with you... but no cheating!
my bp is back down from 170/90 to 130/75.... and all i do is observe that diet 2 days a week... (during those 2 days i dont smoke or take alcohol)... as for the remaining 5 days... i enjoy my meals (moderately).... (at the moment i do it every mondays and tuesdays)... even if i have a lunch / dinner function... i'll skip the meats and cooked food and alcohol... (even if its free)...
i plan to increase it to 3 days... eventually.... (but i've been procastinating).. lol
the above plan was provided to me by a nutritionist... it worked wonders for me...
as for the nagging - both of you nag like kids ok.... and u both cook enough for the entire england team.... so i say cook for 1 and share it between u two...
take care and God bless...
slacker: have given up tobacco & booze. And also its lights out at 930pm sharpish, if game is on, I am in bed by 7pm!!!
Just thought yer sis was gonna cook a HEALTHY meal. Imagine the shit I would have gotten if I was to prepare a meal like that . . .
chill... point well taken!
slacker: Fact remains it was a great makan la.
Now you know what to bug her into cook fer you . . . he he
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