Dear wifey . . .

It is usually me who does the cooking in the house, so it should come as no surprise that the meals will revolve around (usually meaty) items like the Rum Bones recipe below. Very often me cooking skills will be met with a tirade of grumblings from dear wifey.

"Why must you cook so much meat?" . . . nag, nag . . . "This meal is so unbalanced & unhealthy?". . . nag, nag . . . "Can't you attempt more greens fer the sake of yer health?" etc etc.

You get the picture, rite. So after another long lecture, I kindly asked her to do the cooking fer a change. Besides, I would like to feel pampered once in a fooking while. So off she went to the market & to her credit she slaved over a hot stove fer three fooking hours.

The meal was fabulous. The menu? This is what me dear wifey considers a "healthy" meal:
1) Herbal chicken soup (ok, so far so good on the healthy diet part)
2) Deep fried pork ribs marinated in five spice powder, wine & eggs!
3) Pork Pongteh!! (fooking hell, is this oink lover's wet dream or what!?!)
4) And to round it all off, a tiny bowl of long beans stir fried with . . . wait fer it . . . siew yok (roast pork)!!!

Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed the meal but I have two pertinent questions:
1) Do any of you blokes out there also face the problems of a NAGGING wifey who is also a HYPOCRITE?
2) In light of me recent health issues, is it possible dear wifey is trying to subtly shuffle me off this mortal coil?

PS: Dear wifey, thanx fer a lovely meal although I can still feel the calories & the lard clogging up me arteries . . .