Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Say Wot?!?




Got these as part of a series of hilarious examples of misuse (abuse?) of the English language in China (TQ Premo!). The above three were some of me faves. The one in the middle had me in fooking stitches. Bet a lot of women would wish the male species would apply the "grape" cream & leave them the fook alone!
If you had already seen em, am sure they still raised a smile on yer mug. If you haven't, hope it allowed you a chuckle or two in the middle of your work week.
Also, it should alert you to the fact that there must be a great need fer translators & English teachers in China. Either that, or the translators in the examples above were taking the fooking piss!!!

29 comments:

mozisgod said...

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=532094&cc=4716

something for you lot...an interesting read.

Achilles said...

Funny stuff.. already seen this in an email. have you seen the email on Japanese signs in the subway train and station? If i can find that email i will let you guys have a look. you get to guess what the sign means before they show you the actual meaning... and you will be baffled with why they chose such graphics to portray the actual message

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hehhehehehe..i personally like the 3rd pic. imagine to bait the fish with your private and end up attracting an alligator snapping turtle. thats plain ouch man...

and here's what even funnier; Mr Mozzz actually had only a few words to say...hehehhehehehhe...

weiyin69 said...

LOL! I've got lots of others from my sisters too. Misplaced them, though. Damn hilarious. That's the nature of the Chinese (in China). They do things just to get them done without checking whether it's right or not. Same attitude when it comes to business dealings. Very scary!

With the Olympics just around the corner, I wonder how many more funny English signs will be put up!

senorita.. said...

translated literally.. what a disaster.. it's fucking puzzling... cannot be no people in the whole of China that could speak/read/construct decent English sentences?

i remember one that said smth like 'no dying on this bridge' - apparently people go to the bridge often to die (famous suicide spot) and one that says 'do not touch yourself' or smtg....

anfield devotee said...

moz: Thanx fer the link. Craig Johnston is da man la. What a player, what a haircut!

achilles: Brad's Armpit?

kerp: You can try the next time you go fishing!

WeiYin & Senorita: So ladies, no comment on the anti-horniness cream? Useful against irritating hubby/bf ha ha!

Achilles said...

AD: Brad's armpits...Specially for you. hehehehe

senorita.. said...

the horniness cream...? it's actually facial wash... is it not? muahahhhahahha

and if there's a cream like that,haha.... senang cerita. no need crack head on what excuse to give husbands/bf the next time... just say 'nah.. use this'... lol

ahhaha

Life's Like That said...

Better get rid of that cream!

anfield devotee said...

senorita: see Life's Like That's comment.

Life's Like That: See Senorita's comment.

Achilles: Deodarant, puhleeease!

senorita.. said...

hahahhahahaha....

no.... cream is goooood...

senorita.. said...

sorry,i should prolly say why the cream is good... look at it this way guys, it can eliminate your horniness for the time that you are horny.. that will make you even more horny the next time because you did not get to release your anxiety the last time.. and if you continue to use the cream a couple more times, you wife/gf will thank you for the time that you (finally )do not use the cream... make sense?

=P

shit,i am so innocent.hahahha

Life's Like That said...

Senorita,

Did you consider the fact that the cream may work so well that the effect is PERMANENT??? Then how? Cia-lat man!

AD,

This is a much more "Stimulating" conversation(if you know what I mean) compared to your "metal" conversations!

Life's Like That said...

Senorita,

By the way, I am innocent too!

senorita.. said...

given that it is NOT PERMANENT la..... no wives/girlfriends want it to have a permanent effect also.....

ps- i am much much more innocent than u

Life's Like That said...

Just let nature take its courselah! Wonder if it works on women too????

More innocent??? Muahahahahahahaha...........
PS : That's wat all the bad ones say! Muahahahahahaha..........

AD : no comments ah?

mozisgod said...

tuan kerpov: geDEbehhhhh demo yerrr.mwmahahahhahahahaha. nice one.

tuan balakov: nice one. no worries..was more interested in the '88 & wimbledoNG though *ahemahem*..hehhhhee..('87?wha..wat..sorry vision getting blurred now..ear getting deaf..no understand..transmission end)

tuan balakov (and konco-konco yg se-KUTU denganye): may 11th this weeked, just to remind ya (no la not my berfday la). agreed, nothing much to play for but the fact remains..yu flerrss coming down to THE LANE la...should be one helluva of season ending game.
ramos vs benitez..aye carambaaa.

p.s. dude,just thought i'd let yu know..managed to hijack a stray puppy about 3 weeks back...damn cun weyyyy....forgotten how small a puppy can really be man. sweet. ironically enough, i've never my seen my old man happier in the last 6 months..keeps the heart younger i guess. haven't really decided a name for derfler yet..

its a toss-up between ronaldo (as in christy bhoy) and torres (hey my younger bro suggested that okay - due to the resemblance of its fur to his hair colour..mwahhahahahhaha)...or maybe theAIRY horNri (if he had still been with the goons thought..lucky kerp..lucky..heheheh)...but here's the thing..
its a she (thus probably why she was left to die in the drain i guess)
a bitch - which makes the name all the more sweeter. come to think the fella does look more like tevez...sooo...mwhahah who knows..

p.s. 2 - mr "draper tools" nanda - got a kick out of your accent piece..mwahhahahhahaha "how JULY DEN" SOLIDDDDD MWAHAHHAHAHHA

anfield devotee said...

moz: Bitch? Berbie girl - the soon-to-be ex-Spurs player? He he . . .

Spurs v LFC - eh, who gives a shit la . . . You fellas already won a pot & in europe, we achieved bare minimum. Crap.

RE: Wimbledon. Might me remind you of a certain COVENTRY!?! Perryman own goal? Le macam tak pernah kalah to unfashionable sides this fooking spurs.

Life's Like That: Yes, Mr Fuddy Duddy . . .

senorita: pls don't encourage gatal fookers like Life's Like That.

mozisgod said...

might even call decided to name HER berbatov or berba for short...if and when (most likely end of this summer) he leave us..mwahhahahhahaha

have a great weekend mate. fellas!

mozisgod said...

correction not perryman - gary farkin mabbut..of his "boots" and his knees..*i cried okay*
mwahhahahhahahha

Jon-C said...

Damn! I'll make a fortune as an English teacher in China! Wahahahaha.

anfield devotee said...

JOnC: Shall we apply?

Moz: Berbie - that was exactly what me was fooking suggesting!

And yes sorry, it was mabbut. Me remembers the then coach of Brasil was at wembley watching the match & he said MIGHTY COVENTRY played like the boys in yellow. Ha Ha! So much fer Spurs playing flowing, attacking footie. Hoddle? Sorry, who?

senorita.. said...

please dun stray... the thought. i mean no harm..

muahahaha =X

mozisgod said...

fuhyoohhhhhh tuan balakov, dun la like thatt boss.aiseh mannn :))

i fear i may have fortuitously pricked a nerve somewhere - in case i did, me humble apologies). sometimes, i tend to that sometimes..withdrawal symptoms from not having a beer for the whole week (or when my sphincter muscles have gone dry without any KY)

anwayyyy, its good to know that you are as hardcore as they come though. not many people like that these days, i can tell you that for sure.
like what? folks with a lot heart dude, in the team they loved; they grew up with either in front of the telly or.. right smackbang front row and center and for some probably one of the few things that kept their life going at
some points in their life...not many.

anwayys, i actually forwarded yu that article to re-live some past glories of great players la. (i am a lowlife..but not that low to keep prodding on something that happened almost 20years ago..i would have chosen 89 to do that...kidding kidding..mwahahha)

see thing is this.. way before all these fifa champ manager and whatchamcallits RPG's..i used to fancy bein' a manager of a team in me own head....yu know with me own top eleven..i.e. i used..dun laff okay..while playin on the padang..run a selection of players i would have playin for my side..(i.e. get this TigaAnam..rangers..heheheh)..and amongs that list at one point in time included this dude: craiggy for his farkin running all over the place like burnin charcoal up his arse (what is keano la bro), the other reds player that i truly admired for the beauty of his touch was none other than mr.molby...*sigh* the things the fella could do with a ball. man. awesome stuff. somehow i dun find that these days la..its just bham, bham, bham cross, speed and goooaal. thank god someone invented the repeat buttion.

i had also a host of other players during that era..always running around in me head...e.g. namely robbo, strachan, jesper olsen, pat van den howe, lineker, barnes, grobbelar, nico claesen, enzo scifo, le'GOD(tissier), hell oh alrightt even bloody viv anderson(heck of a player i must admit) & charlie nicholas (kerp..see what yu made me do da deeiii) at one time..all playing alongside ossie and the gang.

alright boss - ciao see ya later. ittss beeerrr rtime..

anfield devotee said...

moz: Woi! You joining us fer the Sick Of It All gig?

mozisgod said...

tuan balakov - dude,SOIA can't make it :((( but thanks a lot.

need to head on up to kuhmamaanngggggggg. working day in tgganu + have to swing myself over to a kenduri; important - have to go. it's for a good mate. *sigh*
sounds good. very very enticing. getting stoned with a live band playin' right in front of yu..ahhh pure heaven - what more can you ask huh?$&#**#
what a sad sad life you lead moz..

have a good one chief!

Azer Mantessa said...

keep those funny stuffs coming once a while ... hilarious

:D

L said...

That's hilarious stuff! Lol...
I say the Japanese equally abuse the english language when aided with translators. Imagine if they had none... I know this Kashmiri engineer who worked for sega japan. Through a translator, he told the boss that he has to take a few days off from work to run to KL to be with his wife for the delivery of their first child. The boss, a typical workholic jap, dint like the idea and went on persuading the guy. The kashmiri guy apologised and explained again that it's something he has to do and that to him family comes first. The translation came as: My family is more important and i don't care about you! The man was fired...

anfield devotee said...

azer: Will try seeing that us Kopites need all the fooking cheering up we can get!

leah: Poor dude.