Thursday, July 31, 2008

Caption Contest PtII

Most regular FFS readers will recognise me colleague & regular pix contributor Miss Szu Pau (above). However, me regrets to inform you lot that tomorrow is her last day as she ventures in search of greener pastures in the wild, wild world of client servicing.

As a farewell pressie from her to all her "fans" at FFS, Miss Pau has kindly donated this parting photo fer us to caption. So people, fire away &, ahem, please do try to keep yer captions on the respectable & decent side (even if Miss Pau's decadent behaviour tempts you to write something nasty) . . .

ps: From me, thanx a gazillion fer being such a supportive colleague. But more importantly, thank you from the very bottom of me fooking heart fer the countless gems you have supplied to FFS. From the "hot" pix to the unforgettable "what's a cunt" quip, you definitely have given this humble blog plenty of memorable, laugh-out-loud moments. TQ!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Keeper of the Seven Jersey

Steve McManaman, Vladimir Smicer, Harry Fooking Kewell . . . these are just some of the luminaries to have won the fabled no7 shirt @ Anfield in recent years & failed to live up to the legacy of their majesties Keegan & Dalglish.

So me is hoping that new 20m quid signing Robbie Keane ain't gonna disappoint coz its a helluva a lot of dough to cough up fer a 28-year old. Am pretty unsure why Rafa deemed it necessary to fork out such a large sum when Owen is available fer a cut-price 5million. And if he is going to deploy two strikers Crouchinho was more than useful at holding the ball but was never given the chance. As fer trickery & imaginative footie, what about Benayoun?

Me thinks Rafa will once again shove Gerrard out wide to accommodate Keane. Besides, Pennant is being off loaded & no impending transfer news regarding a quality right winger, so there.

Anyways, since we're on the subject of LFC & the coming season, here are a few of me worries. Rafa is buying loadsa young players with supposed "bags of potential" but never get to see any first team action. Remember Houllier & his stars of the future policy? Remember Gregory Vignal, Florent Sinima Pongolle, Anthony Le Tallac & many others?

Only one player who was bought as a teenager by Houllier emerged with any semblance of regular first XI football . . . Djimi Fooking Traore!!!

Wonder which of these so-called superstars of the future - Nabil El-Zhar, David Ngog, Damien Plesis - will turn out to be the new Djimi. Suffice to say me is bracing meself fer another season of disappointment as it has been fer almost two decades now give or take a pot or two along the way.

ps: Fer all those who are gonna hammer me fer being the eternal pessimist, please ask yerselves if this team look like they gonna deny the scum from equalling our league titles this coming season . . .

pps: While me welcomes all genuine footie fans opinions on the coming season, me leaves you with a vid of the last great No7 to grace the turf at anfield (also the last manager to win the league fer us . . . sigh . . .)

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Slow Hand of Doom! (Reverend Bizzare: Harbinger of Metal)

Fer those of you who love Sabbath, Witchfynder General, Pentagram, Cathedral & all things doom, me is proud to introduce to yer battered eardrums, the Reverend Bizzare. Hailing from the land of Sami Hyppia & with tongue lodged firmly in cheek, these long hairs like their riffs slow, sludgy & slabtastic!

No inverted crosses or black metal screeching vocals here, just lotsa of good old fashioned doom fer that 70s stoner vibe. Fook yeah, baby. Me is gonna enjoy this as me sips a cold beer or three as me is fooking off tomorrow (holiday fer Negeri Sembilan, hoo-fooking-ray)!

To download Harbinger Of Metal (2003), please click:

Fer a sampler, me has included this deliberately-grainy rehearsal vid featuring lotsa flabby physiques & plenty of metal posturing. Enjoy!

Tracklist to Reverend Bizzare's Harbinger of Metal (2003):
1. Harbinger 03:27
2. Strange Horizon 13:51
3. The Ambassador 01:47
4. From the Void 20:18
5. The Wandering Jew 18:27
6. Into the Realms of Magickal Entertainment 03:41
7. Dunkelheit (Burzum cover) 12:26

Monday, July 28, 2008

Go Fook Yerselves!!!

Breaking news! (though anyone with a semblance of common sense could smell the stink of a smear campaign rite from the fooking start.)

The story below was just flashed on MalaysiaKini & coupled with all the other factors should finally convince the naysayers & doubters that this Saiful prick is a Barisan Najis stooge & a FOOKING LIAR!

Just a quick recount:
1) Police demand fresh DNA from Anwar but refuse to produce police report. WTF?

2) Saiful is seen at DPM's office (see pix - scholarship application it seems). WTF?

3) Now, an independent medical report states that Saiful was NOT buggered or had any foreign object inserted into his arse. WTF?

4) The police knew of this other medical report but said nothing. WTF?

Hope somehow this wanker gets thrown in jail fer perverting the course of justice or some such charge & he will then know the TRUE fear of being buggered behind bars!

ps: Fer all those who still think Anwar swings both ways, who gives a fook . . . so what? Point is this episode was another govt attempt to discredit a REAL threat to their power. And the report belows shows it is just a fooking sham.

pps: First it was private gumshoe Balasubramaniam who fooks off after making explosive revelations regarding Najib & Altantuya's willingness to take in the ass! Now the poor doctor who examined Saiful has gone on emergency leave & canna be contacted. How many more people are gonna mysteriously disappear . . .?

Doctor: No evidence of sodomy28/07/08 (2.55pm)
Malaysiakini, July 28th 2008
By Beh Lih Yi and P. Tarani
There is no evidence that Mohd Saiful Bukhari Azlan was sodomised, according to the doctor who examined him four hours before he lodged a police report alleging he was sexually assaulted by PKR leader Anwar Ibrahim.

It is believed that Anwar’s former aide Saiful (left) went to two different hospitals on June 28 - the day he lodged the police report claiming that he was sodomised by his ex-boss.
He first went to Hospital Pusrawi (Pusat Rawatan Islam) in Jalan Tun Razak - a government-linked Islamic medical institution - at about 2pm.

According to a copy of the two-page medical report obtained by malaysiakini yesterday, Saiful went to the hospital complaining of ‘tenesmus’ - a medical term for difficulty and pain in passing motion.

He was examined by Dr Mohamed Osman Abdul Hamid, the medical officer on duty.The doctor said that the patient had alleged he was assaulted by the intrusion of a piece of “plastic” in the anus.

Mohamed Osman, according to his medical report which was recorded at 2.14pm, found “zero active bleeding”, “zero ulcer or pus”, “zero tear and scar” in Saiful’s anus.
He also stated that Saiful appeared “alert”, “comfortable”, “not pale” and did not show any fever symptoms.

A senior Pusrawi official told malaysiakini this morning that the hospital had launched an internal investigation on how Saiful’s medical report was leaked, which is widely considered as a major infringement of patient privacy.

When malaysiakini showed him a copy of the report, he refused to return it saying, “It’s our document.” A check at the emergency unit where Mohamed Osman is attached revealed that he has taken leave since last week. Meanwhile, Pusrawi general manager Wan Mahmood Wan Yaacob refused to comment on the matter.

Conflicting medical reports
Mohamed Osman, in his report’s concluding remarks, advised Saiful to go to a government hospital so as “to rule out” assault and sodomy.
At 6pm on that day, Saiful went to Hospital Kuala Lumpur for his second medical examination. He subsequently lodged a report against Anwar at the police beat at the hospital.
According to an expert who has dealt with rape and sodomy cases, the victim must provide a second medical examination in a government hospital.
She said the court will only accept evidence from a government hospital but the first medical examination must collaborate with the second report, otherwise this could be challenged during the trial.

“From the report, the doctor had failed to find any evidence to support the patient’s complaint. That was why he asked the patient to go to a government hospital to conclusively rule out assault or sodomy,” said the expert who requested anonymity.

It is learnt that the police have recorded statements from Mohamed Osman after Saiful lodged the report against Anwar. The doctor was said to be under tremendous stress as a result of the police interrogation and was advised by the hospital to take leave.
Mohamed Osman, a Burmese Muslim, has 20 years of experience as a doctor. He previously worked in government hospitals before joining Pusrawi about a year ago.
Efforts by malaysiakini to contact Saiful has not been successful.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Commit genocide, grow beard . . .

Am sure most of you had read/heard/seen the news that wanted Serbian war criminal Radovan Karadzic was arrested after a ten year man hunt. He has been working as an "alternative medicine healer" in Belgrade!

Hmmmm . . . so you mean to tell me to fool the combined might & intelligence of Nato spies & Interpol, all he had to do was grow a fooking zztop-style beard & pretend to be a bomoh!!!

Or is the poor sod in the pix above just an old Bai uncle in the wrong place at the wrong fooking time (note small turban knotted on top of his hair?

Friday, July 25, 2008

Follow thy left hand path (Entombed: Left Hand Path)

No a single fooking dud track in sight! From the man screaming into the abyss intro to the last fuzzed out turbo-charged riff, Left Hand Path fooking ticks all the correct boxes fer classic status. Me knows 'classic' is an oft used & abused word but this album has stood the fooking test of time. Me considers this album part of the (un)holy triumvirate of death metal albums - the other two being Morbid Angel's Blessed Are The Sick & Obituary's Cause of Death. These three albums still manage to sound fresh, dangerous, ground-breaking & fooking evil today despite being released almost two decades ago.

Released in 1990, Entombed's debut introduced the world to the fat, fuzzy guitar sound that has come to be known as the Gothenburg sound courtesy of some deft production by Tomas Skorsberg at the (now legendary) Sunlight Studios. Although Entombed later softened their sound to what has become known as 'death roll', the first three LPs & in particular Left Hand Path, is a slice of death metal nirvana.

To download this absolutely essential album, click -

This is the Japanese edition with 3 bonus tracks:
1. Left Hand Path
2. Drowned
3. Revel in Flesh
4. When Life Has Ceased
5. Supposed to Rot
6. But Life Goes On
7. Bitter Loss
8. Morbid Devourment
9. Abnormally Deceased
10. The Truth Beyond
11. Carnal Leftovers (Bonus Track)
12. Premature Autopsy (Bonus Track)
13. Crawl (Bonus Track)

ps: Jangan lepaskan peluang ini! However those of you who still need convincing here's the vid to the title track. Enjoy & have a good headbanging weekend!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Pigs on a wing

Me wifey forwarded me the article below. Me thinks it is an interesting discussion of local Muslim's fascination of form over substance. Me remembers a Turkish patron at me old bistro, Broadwalk, say that Malaysian Muslims are very much in that mould. He pointed out how many Muslims can't even look at a pig (remember the ban of the movie Babe?) but are quite happy to eat crustaceans. The latter bit caught me slightly off guard. He contends that since crabs & prawns are bottom dwellers & therefore subsisted on waste (actually he said "shit"), these items are haram & should not be consumed.

Now, please note as a non-Muslim me is merely putting this topic (& article below) up fer discussion. It is not meant to offend anyone's religious sensibilities. It is also to highlight how the issue below has been turned into a political football & in particular the Malay papers who have been pouring kerosene on the fire.

Please peruse the article below & look forward to yer comments.

ps: me suppose the day oink stops being an issue in Malaysia is the day pigs fooking fly . . .

pps: Don't you think the dacing in the pix above is more representative of a certain political party's logo?

PIG FARMING - Is It Haram?

Dr Mohamed Rafick Khan bin Abdul Rahman

I have been following the story of the construction of a centralized
and modern pig farm in Kampung Tumbuk in Kuala Langat and how the
issue of religious sensitivity and racial cards has been played by the
Opposition (i.e. The BN people) in Selangor.

The issue also appears to have been made worst by the lopsided
reporting by the Malay newspaper which obviously is trying to incite
racial sentiments. Please allow me to share my views as a Muslim on
the matter. The Babi and the narrow minded politicians who called
themselves Muslims from an Islamic perspective. In Islam, the eating
of swine is forbidden. This is clearly demonstrated in many verses of
the Quran. Among others this includes: [1] 5:3, 6:145, 16:114-115; [2]
2:168-169, 3:93-94, 6:119, 10:59; [3] 5:90-91.

My research has failed to find any evidence that suggest that the
religion do not allow Muslims to be
standing next to or to look at or to smell a pig. Maybe some people in
authority can highlight further on this issue.

First of all, I am appalled at the narrow minded politicians who made
the issue of building a centralized and modern pig farming an issue.
It is beyond doubt thatthe real issue here is economy, environmental
pollution and improving quality of life in the surrounding community.
The opposition (BN) are making a mockery of this just because of
political mileage. I feel when something good is being done; it should
be promoted by all parties.

I have travelled to St Louis , USA where it is also known as pork
capital of the world. I have visited and stood 3 feet away from a pig
pen. There was no smell. It was so damn clean. It is even cleaner than
public toilets in Malaysia . How many of these politicians have
visited such a farm and how many are involved in goat farming in
Malaysia ? While goat is Halal in Malaysia , please enter many farms
there is in Malaysia and you will see how dirty it is. Islam only
prohibits the eating of pork. There is no prohibition of looking at it
or standing next to one. In fact I have yet to find anywhere in the
Quran that prevents Muslims from rearing it.

During my 15 months tour of duty with UN in Cambodia , many Malay
Champa who are strong Muslims rear pigs under their house for economic
reason even though they don't eat them. From an economic perspective
it is better to rear pigs than cows or goat. It is simply more
profitable. The pregnancy duration is about 112-115 days compared to
goat which is about 150 days or a cow 290 days.
At the end of each pregnancy the pig produces between 12- 15 piglets,
the goat about 1-2 kids and the cow 1 calf. From an environmental
perspective, it is definitely better to have a central farm where
small farmers join hands and run one big and clean farm. This way the
cleanliness of our water way will be maintained. Waste management will
become the epicentre of the operation. It is more economical to run
one big farm than many small farms that are
polluting.Overall it is a win win situation for everyone.

It is insulting the way some politicians look at the issue. I believe
from an Islamic perspective it is quite clear. It is the narrow minded
politicians that played up the issue that makes it into a Muslim and
non-Muslim issue and trying to create a bigger racial divide among
Malaysians. Sometimes I wonder, which has the lower image, the babi or
these politicians. For that aspect, I respect the position taken by
PAS on this matter. It has shown that it has handled the issues
properly. I ask all level minded Malaysian and to re look at the
'Babi' issue again. Study the real issue properly and make a proper
judgment. Overall it will benefit Malaysians from the economic,
environmental and quality of life perspective.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Anwar or one of these pricks?

With regards to the recent flirtation between PAS & UMNO, me came across this piece in the BM-edition of MalaysiaKini. Firstly, check out Khir Toyo desperate attempts to bribe PAS with MB+deputy MB+4excos package (What? No karaoke?!?). Let's just hope PAS see it fer just what it is - a cheap ploy to break up an opposition coalition that is seriously challenging BN's authority.
Secondly, in one of me recent postings, me was severely disheartened to hear so many so-called opposition supporters (or at least people who voted against Barisan Najis) cast aspersions on Anwar. Accusations ranged from sodomite to Islamic extremist.

Ok, let me reiterate me stance - like anyone else, me is wary of fooking politicians & their forked tongues. But as me is at pains to point out, do you really think the inroads of the last GE could have been made without Anwar's involvement?

Me friend who works fer Al-jazeera no less has gone as far as to say she hopes "this two-faced bastard is locked away & the key thrown away" & that "according to her sources Anwar will form an Islamic state". Point she seems to have forgotten she too was celebrating the GE results like many other fed up Malaysians. Who's got a short memory?

Now if you read the article below, who would you choose? On the one hand, a former DPM who is now locked in a battle to stay out of jail (again) but is preaching equal opportunities fer all Malaysians . . . or . . . bastards like Khir fooking Toyo who OPENLY say there can be no equal status fer non-Bumis & their religions & that we are the extremists. (Don't believe me? Please refer to article below).

Fooking seriously? Do you really consider that fooking bastards like Khir is a better option than Anwar? The latter may be lying but right now that is a chance me is willing to take. Why back racist & corrupt cunts like Khir? To what benefit?

Fer further examples of BN leaders rotten to the fooking core, see also Mercedes Besar . . .oh, sorry, Menteri Besar of Terengganu. Also believe it or not, Mr Muhd "I don't speak English" Taib who was caught with unexplained monies in a case in Australia is jostling fer a VP's post in UMNO! Fooking unbeliavble!

To all the Anwar detractors, this is what we are facing. A line up comprising Najib (racist, corrupt & quite possible, C4 expert), Hishamuddin (racist), Khir (racist, corrupt) & Muhd Taib (corrupt, stupid) occupying the higher echolons of the ruling party. Is this a better option than Anwar who is part of a coalition comprising DAP & PAS?

Are we really so used to the fooking shite dished out by Barisan Najis that we are willing to put up with it ad infinitum? . . .

ps: In case anyone missed the point, instead of trying to win back Malaysian hearts, BN play the same old 'Ketuanan Melayu' card again . . . sigh . . . is this what you want?

pps: PAS big shots including Nik Aziz has belatedly responded to the meeting with UMNO. They say UMNO is trying to stir shit while Nik Aziz went as far as to say to rejoin UMNO would be "sleeping with the enemy"! (Didn't take Nik Aziz fer a Julia Roberts fan).

Muzakarah: PAS ditawar jawatan MB
Jul 22, 08 3:11pm
Bekas Menteri Besar Selangor, Datuk Seri Dr Mohd Khir Toyo berkata, dalam muzakarah antara pemimpin tertinggi PAS dengan Perdana Menteri, Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, beliau telah mencadangkan agar PAS diberi jawatan menteri besar dan timbalan menteri besar serta empat exco di Selangor.

"Malahan saya menolak sebarang jawatan bagi mengelakkan dianggap menguasai exco yang bakal dibentuk," kata Dr Mohd Khir yang membawa pemimpin tertinggi PAS itu bertemua Abdullah.

"Saya lakukan ini kerana percaya bahawa gabungan PAS dan BN akan memastikan kepentingan agama Islam dan orang Melayu tidak akan diperkotak-katikkan," tulisnya dalam blog beliau.

"Bagi saya yang penting ialah kepentingan agama Islam dan orang melayu terjaga bukan siapa yang menjadi pemimpin utama," tambahnya.

Malangnya, kata Dr Mohd Khir, pengaruh Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim dalam PAS, melalui Setiausaha Agungnya, Kamaruddin Jaafar, telah menggagalkan usaha tersebut.

Beliau yakin selagi Datuk Seri Anwar memainkan peranan penting dalam Pakatan rakyat, muzakarah tersebut tidak akan memberi sebarang kesan.

"Datuk Seri Anwar memang tidak mahu Melayu bersatu kerana itulah beliau tubuhkan Pakatan Rakyat yang berjuang atas prinsip kesamarataan, menyamakan taraf agama Islam dengan agama lain, menyamaratakan kedudukan orang Melayu dengan bangsa lain, walaupun memiliki status bumiputera," tambahnya.

Sebab itulah, kata Dr Mohd Khir, Anwar dapat menarik sokongan yang besar daripada golongan ekstremis Cina melalui DAP dan ekstremis India melalui Hindraf.

Bagaimanapun, katanya, cadangan untuk mengadakan muzakarah mengenai agenda Islam dan orang Melayu nampak lebih baik sekarang.

"Saya percaya PAS sekarang sudah mulai sedar bahawa mereka kian tersisih dalam membicarakan isu Islam dan orang Melayu di negeri-negeri di bawah Pakatan Rakyat.

"Ini ditambah lagi dengan masalah peribadi Datuk Seri Anwar sekarang. Saya tidak mengimpikan PAS dan Umno bersatu dalam bentuk fizikal parti atau ideologi politik.

"Tapi saya mengimpikan kesatuan orang Melayu dalam erti mempertahankan kedudukan dan agenda Islam dan Melayu di negara ini," tambahnya.

Dr Mohd Khir berkata, impian beliau ialah suatu hari nanti "kita semua dapat melihat Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad, Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak, Datuk Nik Aziz Nik Mat, Datin Seri Wan Azizah dan Datuk Seri Abdul Hadi Awang, duduk semeja".

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Ground Zero fer Grindcore (Terrorizer: World Downfall / Repulsion: Horrified)

Fook, it's only Tuesday! Aaaaaaargh! Its another one of them fooking slo-mo weeks where time seems to stand still while yer at work. Shit, the weekend seems like an eternity away!

In an effort to speed up time, me has posted (below) two of the FASTEST fooking albums on planet metal. Alongside, Napalm Death's seminal Scum, Terrorizer's World Downfall & Repulsion's Horrified are considered to be the ground zero fer grindcore. Note to metal fans, Terrorizer features future Napalm guitarist (the late) Jesse Pintando as well as Morbid Angel alumni Dave Vincent & Pete Sandoval. Production is courtesy of Scott Burns who would later produce Sepultura, Obituary & host of other underground metal heavyweights.

Fer those unfamiliar with the genre, this is where metal is played at extreme speeds & utilises rudimentary production techniques to give proceedings a real garage feel (though am sure the miniscule recording bugets also contributed to this!). This is metal that is fast, urgent & groundbreaking (lest we forget these are late-80s releases).

If like me, your week is in dire need of an adrenaline injection, these two albums should do the trick quite nicely. Enjoy!

To download Terrorizer's World Downfall, click:

To download Repulsion's Horrified, click:

ps: As usual, me hopes you enjoy these two landmark albums & do post a comment on what you think of em.

pps: These downloads are a huge thanx to Premo who is a BIG fan of the two Lps & first got the download ball rolling with his metal links. Cheers dude!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Go Away Monday Blues!

Me knows a lot of you will be down & depressed on this bleak as fook Monday morning. Not least due to the news reports of PAS donning its best hooker get-up & engaging in some kerbside action with UMNO (more on this later).

So me dear colleague, the infamous Szu Pau, has kindly "donated" this pix of her in a similarly compromising position with her mate, Madam Scarfei. Me believes this will cheer you guys up as you are cordially invited to caption the above photo.

ps: Let's try to keep it respectable, ok?

pps: Winner of this caption competition will win a framed copy of the pix signed by the models themselves.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

My Generation. . .

Every generation has its landmark artiste/s and the attendent seminal performances which resonate long after the last amp has been turned off. These are legendary gigs that have become cultural beacons through the ages.

Just a few quick examples (& by no means exhaustive list) - The Jimi Hendrix Experience exploding into the American consciousness at the Monterey pop festival in 1967; Led Zep's swansong at Knebworth in 1978; U2 begin their bid for world domination under a blood red sky at Red Rocks in 1985 . . .

As fer the 30-somethings among us, we've got this to point to as OUR defining moment in pop history. Stumbled onto the entire recording on youtube & have posted it here fer yer weekend enjoyment. It may take awhile to fully load, but fook, when was the last time you heard something as raw, visceral & hauntingly beautiful as this . . .

Ladies & gentlemen,

Nirvana Live & Unplugged (1994)

ps: Some bastard stole me copy of the CD. Does anyone know where me can download an audio version of this?

pps: Please share yer thoughts on this. Me knows many folk remember precisely what they were doing when they first heard of Kurt's demise . . .

Friday, July 18, 2008

Sign of a good leader

Me has been fooking irritated lately by the number of people who profess to be pro-opposition but are quick to label Anwar as a two-faced bastard who should not be trusted. Some have gone as far to say that it will be the ruin of this country should he ever come to power.

Now, look at the poster above & tell me is that really the punk you want running our country? Why do we have such double standards when it comes to judging BN & Anwar?

Me is not naive to believe Anwar has completely turned over a new leaf but fact remains, he is still the only viable opposition candidate. He has thus far managed to unite PAS, Keadilan & DAP to represent a united front.

Why can't we use his time in BN as a positive? In that, he possesses the know how of running an economy & a govt (as well as knowing the location of a skeleton or two). Can we not fer a moment give the benefit of doubt to the one person who could send BN packing. As Malcolm X once said, "By any means necessary." And he was talking bout taking up arms! All me is saying is to give this bloke a chance thru democratic channels.

Am sorry to name names here but this is in response to:
a) Akuani - "heard sodomy & Anwar are comfortable bedfellows. No sympathy from me."

FFS says: If you believe a 60-year old man with a back problem can force his will onto a 23-year-old, well . . . Just look at the poster above & it should raise ENOUGH doubt over the sanctity of the accuser. Even if Anwar is bi-sexual, so fooking what?

b) Slacker & Kopite78: "Anwar is power-hungry & will be the ruin of this country."

FFS says: Which politician isn't? Its what drives them after all. It sure ain't fooking civic duty. How sure are you that Najib won't do the same? Or Hishamuddin? As you all can see Bodohwi & KJ are doing a wonderful job right now.
Furthermore, can you imagine that a greedy, immoral bastard like Khir Toyo actually has an outside chance of landing a key position in the UMNO GE come end of the year. Seriously, Khir better than Anwar?

c) Miss Lim (a friend who works fer Al-Jazeera): "My sources say he will turn Malaysia into an Islamic state when in power?" & this classic, "A leopard never changes its spots."

FFS says: Really? Will the DAP & other non-Islamic factions in East Malaysia agree? Won't they vote against it? There are enough Muslims who don't want that to happen; otherwise PAS would be running this country a long time ago. As fer a policy of Islamization, you forget, it was begun by the Mighty Tun more than a decade ago.
As fer the issue of a leopard & its fooking spots, let's not forget Najib famously hoisted a banner that had the UMNO keris dripping in blood with the words 'Bunuh Cina' inscribed under it. That image (on front pg of the NST) of him as UMNO youth chief leading the Kg Baru demonstrations in the late 80s is ingrained in me. Though you say you do not want Najib to come to power, Bodohwi has already set a date fer hand over to this bloke? What about his RACIST roots?!!? What about his fooking spots? Is he a better option than Anwar?

d) VV (a friend & avowed BN diehard): "Pakatan fookers are only talking cock & have nothing to show for it."

FFS says: Of course BN bastards never talk cock. Please see poster above.

e) Madam AA's mum: "This Anwar is a trouble-maker. He's going to cause a riot la."

FFS says: The people who have continuously brought up the race card is BN. Anwar may be an opportunist but he is riding on an ideal many of us want ie equal opportunities for all Malaysians.

As usual, me look forward to hearing yer comments on this conundrum facing many Malaysians. Have a good weekend!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Words, don't come so easy . . .

To break the tension of all the political bullshit that has engulfed us lately (Btw, Anwar was released on bail at 9.45am today), let me recount this little gem of an incident that occurred this morning. As some of you many already know, me is the only fooking bloke in me department.

There I was minding me own business when an email arrived from me HOD. It contained just this solitary line: "watz cunnilingus" (!!!!????!!!). Yes, that's right. So me gets up & goes over to Madam AA's office & me gives her a puzzled look - as in what's the joke, rite? She looks at me straight faced, says no joke, what does this word mean. She saw the word on Kerp's profile page (where else?).

Unable to bring meself to say anything me looks to Madam O & Szu Pau fer assistance. Nothing was forthcoming & they also were in the dark. So me had to put it as politely & delicately as me possibly could. (No, me didn't say getting "tongue fooked"!, ok).

There was a burst of girly giggles before madam AA & Szu Pau dropped another bomb-fooking-shell. "Er, what's a cunt ah?" . . . Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!

ps: This is NOT a fictionalised account or some sick joke. This happened. Today. For real.

pps: From the Merriam-Webster online dictionary:
Main Entry:

also cun·ni·linc·tus
cunnilingus, New Latin, from Latin, one who licks the vulva, from cunnus vulva + lingere to lick; cunnilinctus, New Latin, from Latin cunnus + linctus, act of licking, from lingere — more at
: oral stimulation of the vulva or clitoris

pps: The ladies' protestations that they are "innocent-minded" don't fooking wash with me la. What's yer take on this? Please post comment.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The Cheek Of It All

Fer the benefit of those who were unable (or unwilling) to catch the debate between Anwar & Shaberry Cheek last night, here it is fer yer viewing pleasure & to allow you to make up yer own mid.

Few things me wants to highlight, fer those who saw the debate as another exercise in mud-slinging & gaining of political mileage from both sides (many blogs have expressed this sentiment), please bear in mind that this is the first time that an opposition figure has been allowed to publicly air his views against the ruling coalition. This form of democratic expression is still new to us & will take time fer many to adjust. After all, the majority of our elected reps are nearer to the Bung Mokthar/Hamidah Osman end of the spectrum than to intelligent human beings.

Secondly, is to see things as fer what they are. We are ALL suffering from the petrol hike. The reduction is fer all rakyat not just opposition supporters. And if MAS, Perwaja & other corporations are entitled to bail-outs to the tune of billions, aren't you as deserving? Or do you think Shaberry made a decent point of saying we cannot further tax Petronas earnings & that it is time to ween Malaysians off a subsidy mentality?

Me looks forward to reading yer comments on last nite's debate. Cheers!

ps: The latest news of Anwar's arrest this afternoon a clear indication of who won the debate last nite?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

A simple message to dem boys in blue

As you are stuck in a massive crawl & approach the unnecessary road block being mounted by BN's enforcement agency, don't you just wish you could wind down yer window & fooking repeat what Kermit & gang are saying in the vid above?

ps: With the exception of the few honest ones like Kopite Muru, of course.

pps: Don't forget, 9pm tonite live on Astro - Anwar v Shaberry.

Truly Muhibbah

"How often do you see such a mixed group of people hanging out & having a great time," quipped Becky "The Beauty Spot" Lee halfway through our Bloggers get-together @ Fatty Crab last Saturday. And how rite he was. Amongst the 25-strong group, there were Indian, Chinese, Ceylonese, Punjabi & a hardcore Melayu porn fan all mingling in the true spirit of muhibbah.

Me actually noticed when the restaurant was packed, there was no other table that featured a rainbow spectrum of colours - the tables were all Chinese, all Mat Salleh, all Indian or all Malay. Unlike ours which really was the epitome of the muhibbah spirit.

In light of the recent attacks from BN bigwigs on bloggers being up to no fooking good, me has this to say. Yes, many of us blogger rant, rave & fooking grumble about the state of things. But at least me can proudly say this group of bloggers are doing our bit to foster national unity (unlike the BN bastards who keep playing the race card) . . .

Thanx again fer yer presence & showing despite everything, the true spirit of muhibbah lives (at least in this corner of cyberspace)!

ps: Below are some of the pix. You can view the rest at:

Monday, July 14, 2008

Not fer vegetarians . . . (Meathook Seed: Embedded)

After a superb weekend, it was rite fooking drag coming to work today. Thankfully, 23 Psi had loaned me his copy of this classic slab of experimental grind/metal & am now blasting it thru me headphones at full fooking tilt to lift me spirits.

This is a side project featuring Napalm Death alumni in the shape of Shane Embury, Mick Harris & Mitch Harris. According to 23Psi the later efforts from this group are just . . . well . . . crap. Me suppose that its pretty fooking hard to follow a debut as impressive as Embedded and despite being released in 1993, it still sounds fooking mind-blowingly good.
Hard, heavy & atmospheric with all the best elements of industrial, death, grind & ambient metal, Meathook Seed managed to push the envelope of an already extreme genre even further.
If you are feeling the symptoms of them Monday fooking blues, me absolutely guarantee that this will blow them the fook away.

To download this essential piece of noise, click:

ps: Fer those who came fer the makan & minum party on Sat, thanx fer making it a fooking great nite. Will post about our party once Bernard has emailed me the pix! Cheers!
pps: Below is a sample vid of the band. Enjoy!

Friday, July 11, 2008

Race before religion?

One of me colleagues (let's call her Madam O) is a very generous & warm hearted soul. She is moved by everyday plight of people & is always generous with her donations regardless of her own financial constraints.

Just to give you an example, when we were having lunch a few months back, Madam O noticed the couple sitting in the adjacent table had a mentally disabled child. Madam O took the time to go over to say hello to the child & ask the mother about the kid. Madam O then handed the mother some money saying it was fer the child's savings. Although the mother had not asked fer anything (& initially refused to accept), you could see she was surprised & touched by me colleague's sincerity.

This morning, me colleague says she as she was dropping off her own kids at the babysitter, she was approached by an Indian lady & some children. The Indian lady was soliciting fer donations & showed her the portfolio. The centre is in Kajang & cared fer neglected as well as disabled children & is a shelter fer battered wives. Madam O without hesitation handed her whatever she had in her purse & was thanked profusely by the Indian lady & her kids.

As Madam O prepared to hand over her kids to the babysitter, the latter asked who was the Indian lady & what did she want. Upon listening to Madam O's explanation, the babysitter remarked, "apa pulak tanya dengan orang Melayu?" (Why must she ask from a Malay?)(!!!)

Me colleague was at once disheartened, shocked & disgusted. She was speechless. Madam O says she cannot understand why even in situations like this, people must look at race. And doesn't one's religion teach you to be charitable towards the less fortunate.

Going by the example above & half a century of race-based politics, skin pigmentation is the only fooking issue that matters. Thankfully, there are people like Madam O around which means there is still a semblance of hope fer us as a nation . . .

ps: Madam O is herself looking fer donations to purchase an Alfa 156 . . . feel free to contribute via comments box!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Ladyboy v Bung - who would you vote fer?

This was spotted in today's edition of The Sun:

Bankok: A Thai transvestite with an excellent record for community service has been appointed district chief of a village in Samut Prakan province despite his cross-dressing tendencies.

Choochat Dulayapraphatsorn, 46, defeated three other more traditionally male candidates in a local election for district chief of Tai Ban mai village in Samut Prakan, 30kn north of Bangkok.

Although a self-confesses cross-dresser who goes by the name of "Jae Kob" or "Sister Kob" when in drag, Choochat said he won the election because of his long record of community service, including crime prevention, catching pythons that have slipped into people's houses and vaccinating pet dogs against rabies. (!!!)

"I'm confident that every one here loves and accepts me," Choochat told the Bangkok Post.

Dear FFS regulars, compare the above with our own elected rep - Bung Mokthar. Our MP from Kinabatangan is only useful in making the wrong headlines & not much else (in case you haven't heard, Mr Bung was caught on TV showing opposition MPs a rude gesture). The Thai rep fooking wrestles with pythons la, fer fook's sake!

ps: Pix is not Choochat but me has a strange feeling that dear old Choochat has similarly "striking", ahem, features, which would go a long way towards explaining the electoral success, python wrestling notwithstanding . . .

Monday, July 7, 2008

Sell-out or progress?

Do you remember the first time you heard Metallica's Black album? Remember the sheer disappointment? The utter disbelief that the fookers had sold out? The disgust that you felt when the "Bangsar" crowd started wearing Metallica t-shirts & singing Enter Sandman on the dance floor. . . oh man, it was sickening. Am pretty fooking sure you remember it all too well.

Here's another example fer you to digest. Satyricon started out as a pure black metal outfit with deep roots within the scene. But their last LP Now, Diabolical sees the band cleaning up their sound & adopt a far more commercial approach. Me thinks their debut, Dark Medieval Times, is a class piece of black metal, but wait, shock . . . horror . . . me also thinks the shiny, new version of Satryicon is FOOKING BRILLIANT!

(Gasp . . . were we wrong to doubt Metallica all them years ago or is it just me growing old?)

Anyways. me leaves it to you to compare & contrast as the links to both debut & latest album is available here. Do take the fooking time to check these albums out as me assures you it'll be fooking worth yer while!

Eagerly await yer verdicts on the albums. Enjoy!

ps: Me has been telling wifey me would like to adopt the painted-face & studs look as modelled by early Satyricon (pix above). Suffice to say, wifey has been generally unsupportive of the suggestion . . . sigh . . .

pps: If anyone is interested, you can download Satyricon's entire discography including EPs & demos at: .

To download, Now, Diabolical (2006). click here:

To download debut Dark Medieval Times (1992), click here:

Fer a sample, here's the vid of The Pentagram Burns from the Now, Diabolical LP:

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Let's eat, drink & be merry

Yo people, our scheduled get-together is ON fer next Saturday, 12 July, 5pm, Fatty Crab Restaurant, Taman Megah, PJ.

So pls confirm yer attendance in comments box & pls let us know if yer bringing yer other half.

Guest list (so far)
1) Bernard (Speak Now, Ah?)
2) Nick (23Psi)
3) Gavin (Life's Like That)
4) JonC (Chronicles)
5) Albertus (Albaddy)
6) Tony (can you see it?)
7) Surin (Kopite78)
8) Titoki (Secret Diary)
9) Szu Pau (10, Kemp Road)
10) Kerp (Let's Go Land)
11) Tinesh (Sticks)
12) Mandeep Gill (Lost In Bandung)
13) Rajan (Achilles)
14) Premo (The Playah)
15) Moz (The Rambler)
16) Anand (The Silent Observer)
17) Lester (Rhyme Without Reason)
18) Mark (Becky)
19) Nanda (666)

Have I left anyone out? Akuani, join us? Can someone pls bring camera - Bernard, JonC?

ps: Pls don't be late as FattyCrab gets very busy 6pm onwards & there's no reservation shit (relative or not).

pps: Some have asked bout budget, well, the plan is simple - makan bill split among those who eat, drinking bill split among those who thani. Ok?

ppps: Pls feel free to bring any unwanted/unloved bottles of liquor to add to the merriment. No corkage at Fatty Crab!

Thursday, July 3, 2008


Over the weekend, wifey & meself visited our friendly neighbourhood pirated DVD emporium & this was one of the films we purchased. As you can guess from the title, it rips off the documentary Super Size Me (where the perfectly healthy narrator subsists on a diet of pure McD's fer 30 fooking days with horrifying consequences). Here stand up comic Doug Benson does the same; only instead of McD's, its marijuana! Yup, that's right, the challenge was to wake & bake all day & nite fer 30 days!!!

Not quite as revealing as the junk food expose that was Super Size Me but entertaining & educational nonetheless.'Medical marijuana' users, legal dispensaries & law makers are all given a fair shake of the camera. The fact that Benson is a stand up comic makes fer plenty of great one liners throughout the movie.

A good laugh which is well worth yer six ringgit or whatever it is you pay yer supplier (I mean DVDs, not pot!). Have also included a short trailer below fer yer viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

ps: Won't spoil it fer you lot but am sure many will be surprised at the findings/conclusions at the end of this docu.

pps: Before any of you smart alecs start pointing fingers, me claims the right to say shit ie the right to NOT incriminate oneself! hee hee

ppps: Am sure some of you will be thinking been there, done that. Do tell . . .

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Conversation with a BN supporter

This is a recent skype conversation me had with a BN-supporting friend. Yes, we're buddies, talk-footie-over-cold-beer-type-of-buddy. But we are on polar opposites when it comes to politics. This verbatim (cut & pasted) online conversation really go some way in reflecting the mentality & attitude of BN folk . . .

FFS says: Dear VV (real name removed to protect identity)
FFS: pls make sure you are nowhere near snakes
VV says: why la joe?
FFS: lest you get beaten senseless by yer BN faithful
VV: ah! will do bro
FFS: Hamidah Osman
FFS: The pride of BN
VV: bitch
VV: but please don't categorise with BN
FFS:actually me friend said it best
FFS: he says she actually wants some Indian snake to beat her ass
VV: haha
FFS: just salah sebut
FFS: eh? If don't categorise with BN, shouldn't the party expel her?
VV: why?
VV: let her talk la...its not the party stand
VV: we have better things to do la
VV: let's get on with things
FFS: To use fave terminology of BN - fer making "seditious" & "racially sensitive" remarks?
VV: i'm very disappointed with Pakatan
FFS: anyways, still think Najib has nothing to do with Mongol blow up
VV: we need to get on with the more important things la
VV: stop harping on these issues
FFS: Dude, the opposition have held the 5 states fer less than 6 months & everyone is fed up
FFS: why?
VV: Pakatan is full of shit and no substance
FFS: they have been blocked by BN at every juncture
FFS:BN would look the same la if they were in that position
FFS: Hang On
FFS: In fact
FFS: They look like they are full of shit & of no substance whilst in POWER!
VV: we have 50 years of record to back us
VV: Pakatan as a BUGGER to show for all the shit thay have been talking
FFS: yes, like stopping the penang monorail project . . .
FFS: fabulous
FFS: People-centric projects BN say
FFS: 50 years of intimidation & racial politics . . .
FFS: you call that a record
FFS: ???
VV: where were we 50 years ago?
VV: practically a village
FFS: Pls answer the penang monorail
FFS: what justification?
VV: without BN, we'll still be embroiled in petty matters
FFS: pls answer the question
VV: visionaries bro!
VV: taken us to where we are today
FFS: pls answer the question sir
VV: who the fuck cares about the monorial
FFS: allrite, c u & good day

There you have it - BN are Visionaries, Pakatan full of shite. BN have taken us from village to city. But who gives a fuck about the monorail. What wonderful rational & logic; all the while side-stepping pertinent issues as petty & unimportant.

And oh yeah, murder is apparently a petty issue among BN folk . . . Go figure.

ps: Me friend also thinks that the corruption of the judiciary is also a petty issue & we need to move on. Also not aware that Najib had purchased submarines at extortionate prices. . . sigh . . .

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Old Skool Thrash Lives! (Death Angel: Killing Season)

Its been quite a pleasant surprise to see so many bands from the Golden Age of Thrash (ie the 80s) still doing the rounds. Who would've thought eh? Some of the lesser known names still moshing away like grunge, emo, nu-metal or whatever the fook else is the flavour of the month, never fooking happened.

Fer those of you unfamiliar with Death Angel, these five Filipino-American cousins are related to Metallica's Kirk Hammet & first came to notoriety via their super fast & heavy The Ultra-Violence album in 1987. They were then just a bunch of pimply faced teenagers obsessed with speed but had shown signs of things to come on the follow up Frolic In The Park. That potential was fulfilled on Act III (1990) where they perfected the balance between heavy thrash & melodic sensibilites that was the Bay Area scene's signature sound.

But this was a time when the thrash scene was being overtaken by more extreme genres such as death metal & grindcore as well as the emergence of grunge. The band went their separate ways with some members performing as The Organization before a cancer benefit concert fer Testament's Chuck Billy in 2001 saw them tread the boards together again as Death Angel. The enthusiastic response they got convinced em to reform & they produced The Art of Dying in 2004.

But all this is news to me too until me chanced upon this latest offering on one of the metal blogs. Me is proud to report that this album is fooking killer! Classic Bay Area thrash which urges you to headbang thru a lethal combination of power, melody & dynamics. If this album had been released in 1988, Death Angel could well have been bigger than Metallica.

The solos are typically technical yet expressive & the songs have a real sense of being well-thought out pieces rather than yer typical hammer-to-yer-face blast of sound. You can really hear on this LP a band that has matured over the years & know just how to reign things in when the proceedings get a touch too heavy. Even the vocals are much better this time round, clear, crisp & nary a bum note in sight.

But its good to see these thrashers still pummelling away & keeping the Metal alive! Fer that alone, you should check out this album but rest assured you will get plenty of neck exercise with The Killing Season. Enjoy!

To download this long player:

ps: Death Angel were one of me wifey's fave bands - "coz they're cute". . .

pps: Couldn't find any new vids, so enjoy their "power-ballad" Room With A View below.

Union of the Snake

It was reported yesterday in the Malaysian Nanban (or some such shitty publication) that the Union of Malaysian Snakes had filed a police report against assemblycoont, Hamidah Osman. Why? Fer daring to insinuate that there should even be any question as to which should a person whack first.

"Of course the Indian lah," they hissed, "Many of us are endangered you know, unlike Indians who are just dangerous . . . "
Meanwhile, Hamidah has clarified her remarks by saying she wanted to emphasise how pro-environment BN had become. "Snakes are wonderful creatures which are vital to our eco-system. Indians do nothing fer the environment as their todi breath is causing a huge hole in the ozone."

ps: To those who continuously say they are fed up with Pakatan Rakyat, well, they aren't even allowed to ask questions in the respective Dewans but fooking coonts like Hamidah can make such wonderful remarks bout their fellow countrymen.

pps: To those who say the Opposition have no experience in running the country, please justify Hamidah's role in nation-building.
ppps: How come shit like this never gets published as part of BN's "report card"?