Sunday, September 30, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
RE: Hospital food
Low sugar, low salt, less oil, no fat, no fried foods = no odour & no fooking taste. Luckily there were a couple of 24 hour mamak shops around the corner from SJMC fer me to indulge in a little flavour . . . the plate of maggi goreng never tasted soooo fooooking gooood.
RE: Cute Nurses
One thing I was looking forward to was perhaps to be looked after by some sweet young things. That was certainly the case when I was hospitalised in Assunta many years ago after a giant Punjabi drunkard kicked me already-injured knee (am sure some of me visitors then remember a certain nite nurse by the name of Geraldine Priscilla Rosario; in fact I think most came to catch a glimpse of her instead of cheering me up). But not only have they now made the nurses wear seriously drab uniforms; they no longer wear skirts made from white see-through material! Don't the hospital authorities realise that this was an important part of the recovery/healing process . . . Plus the amount these private hospitals charge, you'd expect some playboy bunnies to be among the staff! Don't they realise that sexy nurses (like pix above) will probably attract more patients than expert doctors!?!
RE: Enemy Doctors
I was being treated by a rheumatologist who was nice enough till he came to administer a couple of injections into me knees (fooking ouch!). Although I have a couple of large tattoos I am still quite a pondan when it comes to needles. As luck would have it, the good Doc notices the Liver Bird proudly etched into me forearm. "You Liverpool fan ah?"he queries. I nodded yes. "Bad news fer you, I'm a man u fan," he said with an evil fooking laugh. Bloody hell, last thing you want to hear before a couple of joint injections!
I closed me eyes & endured the sharp, painful sensation as the needle burrowed into skin, flesh & sinew. He took it out & asked whether I was ok. "Painful but bearable. I had expected much worse from a joint injection," I said. "Oh no, that was just the anesthetic, now I will give you the injection proper." Aaaaaaaaaaaargh! (echoing into a deep abyss). . . whimper, whimper . . .
RE: Sobering conclusion
I have been a gout sufferer for more than a decade, no thanks to a seriously unhealthy lifestyle which encompasses smoking Lucky Strikes backed up by a pack or two of gudang garam. Plus I have been a heavy fooking drinker fer more than half me life. The smoking accounts fer me hypertension (supporting LFC probably contributed as well) & the boozing the sole cause of me gout.
Now, the doctor was at pains to explain the necessity to control me diet. Fair enough & wasn't too fussed as many of the things I avoid anyways (eg crabs, beef, cabbage etc). As fer tobacco, I have cut down seriously & should not have too much of a problem quitting this admittedly nasty habit.
But me world was turned upside down when he said I had to give up booze. . . forever (no more empty mugs like above, not fer me anyway)! Tears welled up in me eyes. A pounding sensation started in me rib cage. No, tell me this ain't true. "Afraid it is, yer uric acid count is way too high & yer body cannot cope with heavy duty drinking," explained Dr Manc. I almost fooking blacked out from an anxiety attack but managed to stay conscious . . . just. An overwhelming sense that an era had truly come to an end. . . No more late boozy nites supporting LFC. No more rowdy Chinese New Year & Deepavali gatherings. Wedding dinners will be what they truly are - fooking boring!
Oh woe is me . . . It's only been a few hours since I returned home from the hospital & already I am dejected, miserable & fooking depressed. I can't even bring meself to attend Bernard's lantern party tonite as there will be tons of booze there . . . sob.
Sobriety fooking sucks!
PS: TQ to Bernard, Gavin, Surin, Pure & the Mun clan fer visiting me. Cheers!
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
The years of guzzling & keeping a barfly's existence (as illustrated below) has forced me to seek treatment fer this debilitating condition. But hey, no pain, no fooking gain rite (I think?) . . .
By the way, I'll be at the SJMC, so if anyone wants to smuggle me a six pack, please give me a call . . . he he
PS: Anyone out there goin "tsk, tsk" & using me as an example of why you should not indulge in alcohol can fook off! Pain is pretty fooking bad but can you imagine going thru life without a drink?!?
While the defence (featuring untried pairing of Carra & Aberloa) & keeper were fooking shite, we still managed to stick four past Reading on the nite with our boy Torres bagging a hat trick: 2-4 final score. Well worth staying up fer & certainly hope it instills some confidence ahead of our game v Wigan on Sat.
C'mon lads, let's use this as impetus to get our season really going!
PS: Let's hope we can avoid Cardiff City in the next round; don't fancy facing Fowler & Hasseilbank!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
But what I want to highlight is that I am truly fooking amazed that so many bands from the "golden age of metal" (ie the 80s & early-to-mid 90s) have survived till this very day. Now I admit when I first started listening to this genre, I never expected so many of its practitioners to still be around. Behemoths like Led Zep were around fer 13 years while Deep Purple & Scorpions will probably be around forever thanx largely to their classic tunes (& appeal among the mat rockers in this neck of the woods) but who would have seriously thought that the more extreme bands would still be banging after 20-odd years.
Just flick through the pages of extreme metal publications such as Zero Tolerance or a quick google will tell you that many of these hair merchants are still recording & touring outfits. Names such as Testament, Megadeth, Celtic Frost, Obituary, Morbid Angel, Bolt Thrower, Slayer, Napalm Death (who played here recently, see earlier post Still buzzing from the grind) &, of course, Malevolent Creation are just some that are still active entities despite receding hairlines & expanding beer guts!
Fills me with pride that these underground veterans from me generation are still at it & influencing a whole new generation of metalheads. Of course, some will argue that this is a bad sign that suggests little or no real movement in the genre. Not true. Plenty of new bands such Trivium, Mastodon, Slipknot, Chimaira, Opeth, Dimmur Boggir et la have pushed the boundaries over the years.
But like an old blanket or comfort food, it is nice to hear that these old timers are still heavily into severe cranium damaging metal. Before I sign off this posting, I'd just like to remind you of the quote that appeared on the back of Metallica's Kill Em All opus : "Bang the head that doesn't bang!"
PS: Please feel free to suggest some new bands to check out or post news items on these veteran metal acts.
Once again, most Kopites will be getting that sinking feeling that our league challenge might just be over before Nov (again!). Our third scoreless draw (including Porto in Europe) on the trot not only means there is now daylight between us & other rivals at the top; the goal scoring problems from last season has yet to be resolved (Derby was just a fooking smokescreen plus they were diabolically rubbish as the Gooners highlighted again this weekend) .
Though we are unbeaten thus far, the fooking crap footie on display is sure to send shivers down the spine of even the most optimistic supporter (Lester "Quadruple" Francis?). Rafa's squad rotation policy does not seem to be working as the team looks disjointed & dare I say it . . . dispirited.
I actually agree with Rafa's rotation policy but it is his job to make sure that whichever starting XI is picked, they go out & produce some decent fooking football!
If we can't beat the effing Brummies at Anfield, what hope do we have when we meet tougher opposition such as Blackburn & West Ham away from home (the latter incidentally the game in hand).
This has all the fooking hallmarks of that infamous 2002/2003 11 game winless streak written all over it. I know this may sound overly pessimistic & some would say it is not panic stations yet (& I genuinely hope I am wrong), but the shite footie we are playing does not instill confidence; never mind fear in the opponents . . .
And before everyone starts labelling me an ungrateful oink, remember the cardinal rule in football management - "You are only as good as yer last game."
On this evidence, well . . .
RE: Man Utd v Chelsea
So far, the two biggest games of the season have been decided by poor refereeing decisions. LFC v Chelsea & this game was all about the man in black. What bollocks!
Why did the ref deem it fit to immediately brandish the red card at Mikel? From that moment on, the entertainment value of the contest just fooking plummeted . . .
This is not just a sour grapes rant cos Man Utd won, it was expected after Jose's removal. But as a genuine football fan, I am beyond irritated that so many games are being ruined by the wankers in black. The refs have no right to decide the outcome of the game & I fervently hope something is done soon.
Friday, September 21, 2007
1) Samy Velu on pos laju "BESOK KIRIM, HARI INI SAMPAI"!
2) The one on TV when in trying to say he was ashamed, he said: "Kemaluan saya besar"!!
3) On drugs, "Jangan hisap dada"!?!
4) Samy said in a ceramah "Kita akan bina satu jambatan untuk orong-orong kampong disini"; one pakcik asked, "Datuk, sini takde sungai,buat apa bina jambatan?" and Samy glorious replied,"Kalau takde sungai, kita bina sungai!"
5) Samy's favorite quote on national television "Toll naik sikit, manyak marah saya. You ingat semua ini toll saya punya bapa punya kah!"
6) During the water shortage crisis : "semua orang diminta jgn membuang aiyerr..!"
7) During blood donation campaign in Sg Siput: "..marilah kita semua menderma dara.."
8) During the opening speech of various function: "...selamat datang saudara-mara semua . . . (actually is "saudara-saudari")
9) At an opening ceremony: "mempersilakan datin paduka rafidah aziz naik ke pentas utk membuka kain"
10)Commenting about his modesty: "sebenarnya, kemaluan saya sangat-sangat besar"
11) And lastly u know why our N-S Highway concessionaire is named PLUS. PLUS = Pungut Lebih Untuk Samy
PS: At least he is funny, will give him that much . . .
Fer Fook's Sake has, on more than one occasion, hinted that the Indian population has been extremely marginalised in this country. They are a people without a voice; third class citizens devoid of any semblance of power etc (MIC is a fooking toothless organisation & Samy is just a token figure on the cabinet who's sole purpose is to make everyone else laugh with his toupe & ill-fitting designer suits).
Just last month, huge groups of Indians gathered peacefully at Putrajaya to voice their concern over their present status & somewhat bleak future (although the crowds were substantial, none of the local media deemed it important enough to carry the story).
But then this little gem (above) of a video appears on youtube. In it senior lawyer Datuk VK Lingam is (allegedly) instructing the Chief Justice Tan Sri Ahmad Fairuz over the phone on who to appoint as judges. Former DPM Anwar Ibrahim has said this conversation (allegedly) took place in 2002 and he is calling fer an investigation (yeah, right . . . they gonna listen to you, a disgraced sodomite).
But my point is that Fer Fook's Sake has been wrong to undermine the Macha's political connections & this video is ample proof of a Macha pulling some seriously well-connected strings. I mean to see a Macha instructing the CJ on judicial appointments just filled me bosom (& very Indian potbelly) with pride. 'Caya la!
On the surface, Indians are just a minority with an ever receding voice in the corridors of power. Behind the scenes, one phone call & the judiciary is in the pocket. Power or what!?! Respect la, Macha . . .
PS: Ironically , many in the legal profession have been quietly grumbling bout the majority of appointments being Malays - "where are all the Indian judges?". But now you know who is the puppet master . . . allegedly . . .
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Fer Fook's Sake is sad to see this colourful character leave the English game. Although he has gotten up the noses of many Kopites over the years, I have always felt they were just manoeuvres to deflect attention away from his squad (unlike the malice ridden pronouncements of Alex Ferguson).
So who do y'think will be the replacement? Hiddink? Ramos? Please feel free to make yer comments / predictions here.
PS: Biggest beneficiary are Man Utd as the big game on Sun - Man U v Chelsea. Talk bout bad fooking timing!!!
PSS: Please enjoy the fooking hilarious parody vid above. Quite possibly reflects the conversation just prior Roman wielding the big axe . . .
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Now I have been berated by certain fellow supporters fer me extremely pessimistic take on proceedings. Some have accused me of reverse psychology, others just find me plain unbearable as I tend to picture the worse possible scenario. . . even when we are two-nil up, nevermind three down!
Sorry. It's just me. Me incredibly negative view of things (& its not just limited to footie) is down to the fooking horrors inflicted upon my impressionable teenage mind by two gentlemen - Micheal Thomas & Lawrie Sanchez. Nuff said. Ever since then, I have NEVER taken ANYTHING fer granted. It taught me that life (like football) is full of unexpected twists & turns, some of them far from being remotely pleasant.
As such, please bear with me as I sound out a cautionary warning at this early stage of the season. Yes, we have started the season quite well but the recent uninspired draw at Fratton Park gave rise to memories of the 2002/03 season. Liverpool were unbeaten & top of the table just before X'mas, then came the record-breaking (& sanity challenging) 11 game winless streak which eventually saw us slide down the standings (& barely making fourth).
That season also started with great wins & optimism was high as we had bought two "stars" of the recently concluded World Cup - the highly rated Senegalese duo El-Hadji Diouf & Salif Diao. We all know how that turned out; not quite "spittingly" (sic) well . . .
As fer our European adventure that year, many Kopites couldn't conceal their glee when we were drawn with Valencia, Boavista & Basel. "Easy fooking group la" was the consensus. Like this morning, we also drew our opening group match v the Portuguese champions 0-0 (drab result was blamed on the shock of having a kick-off just hours after the World Trade Centre had come tumbling down in NYC on Sep11). Valencia under the guidance of a certain Rafa Benitez edged us 1-0 at home before routing us 3-0 in Spain. This left all to do against the underdogs Basel in Switzerland (1-1 at Anfield) & we managed to go 3-0 down by halftime. Although we clawed back to 3-3, the result saw us dumped unceremoniously into the Uefa Cup (where a certain Didier Drogba ran amok against us in the game v Marseille).
I really hope Senor Rafa has taken note of the Houllier debacle & is carefully planning a strategy which will at least see us challenge fer the league & make it thru to the knock-out stages of the European Cup. Making the final of the latter does seem statistically impossible under the new format (2005, 07 & 08!?! No way la!) & perhaps we should just concentrate on our domestic duties.
Well, I've said me piece & I truly hope that I am wrong regarding our season's prospects (in that it looks like another pear-shaped attempt at success as in 2002/03). Of course, all Kopites (& fans of other teams) are welcome to post their comments/predictions etc here. YNWA!
Monday, September 17, 2007
The list below was posted on the group email of mywordup. Interesting read to say the least. Fer Fook's Sake has no way of verifying the stats & have posted them verbatim. Although many do carry a whiff of hearsay, it is nothing compared to the utter lies, propaganda & fooking bullshit that regularly masquerade as news & social commentary in the Malay press.
Can anyone out there disprove these stats/facts? Or better yet, can anyone explain the need fer such unbridled avarice & greed whilst completely marginalising 45% of the country's population?
Like I said, I cannot verify the authenticity of these claims but they do sound pretty fooking familiar. Personally, I know all of me grandparents passed away without ever getting their BLUE ICs, whilst me former Indonesian staff at me bar all got theirs within a few years of applying. We also know of the plight of the many straight 'A' students who were denied entry into med school here; so there's a healthy chance most of the list at least carry a modicum of truth.
ps: Fer Fook's Sake invites all of you to post a comment on the state of our beloved nation. TQ
This list cover a period of about 49 years since Independence Day in Malaysia (1957):
1) Out of all the 5 major banks in Malaysia,only one bank is multi-racially owned, the rest are controlled by Malays.)
2) 99% of Petronas (the only one petroleum company) directors are Malays,and the former Prime Minister works as a Consultant in Petronas.
3) 3% of Petronas employees are Chinese.
4) 99% of 2000 Petronas gasoline stations are owned by Malays.
5) 100% of all contractors working under Petronas projects must have"bumiputra" status (Malay).
6) 0% of non-Malay staff are legally required in Malay companies. But there must be 30% Malay staff in Chinese companies, and this includes shareholders. This mean non-Malay who owns the company need to give their property to the Malays and non-Malay citizens can't fully own their business.
7) 5% of all new intake for government police,nurse and army, is non-Malays.
8) 2% is the present Chinese staff in Royal Malaysian Air Force (RMAF), a plunging drop from 40% in 1960.
9) 2% is the percentage of non-Malay government servants in Putrajaya(Malaysia main government office), but Malays make up 98%.
10) 7% is the percentage of Chinese government servants in the government sector (in 2004), and has dropped from 30% in 1960. There are only 2position for non-Malays in political status.
11) 95% of government contracts are given to Malays; even if it is an open tender. Non-Malay contractors who; tender for lower prices and use better materials, can't get the contract.
12) 100% of all business licenses are controlled by Malay government e.g.Taxi permits, Approved permits, etc. and all the license are given to government officials' families.
13) 80% of the Chinese rice millers in Kedah(north of peninsular Malaysia)had to be sold to Malays and controlled by Bernas (Government Org.) since1980s. Otherwise, life is made difficult for Chinese rice millers.
14) 100 big companies; set up, owned and managed by Chinese Malaysians,were taken over by government and later managed by Malays since 1970's e.g.UTC, UMBC, MISC, etc. This company now is the sole company.
15) At least 10 Chinese owned bus companies(throughout Malaysia in a span of 40 years) had to be sold to MARA or other Malay transport companies due to rejection by the Malay authorities to Chinese application for bus routes as well as rejection for their application for new buses.
16) 2 Chinese taxi drivers were barred from driving in Johor (South of Peninsular Malaysia) Larkin bus station.There are about 30 taxi drivers and3 are Chinese in October 2004.Spoiling taxi club properties was the reason given.
17) 0 non-Malays are allowed to get shop lots in the new Muar (city in south peninsular Malaysia) bus station(November 2004).
18) 8000 billion ringgit is the total amount the government channeled to Malay pockets through ASB, ASN, MARA,privatization of government agencies like Tabung Haji etc, through NEP over a period of 34 years.
19) 48 Chinese primary schools closed down from 1968 to 2000.
20) 144 Tamil primary schools closed down since 1968 - 2000
21) 2637 Malay primary schools built since 1968- 2000
22) 2.5% is government budget for Chinese primary schools. Tamil schools got only 1%, Malay schools got 96.5%
23) While a Chinese parent with RM1000 salary(monthly) cannot get school textbook loan, a Malay parent with RM2000 salary is eligible.
24) All 10 public universities vice chancellors are Malays. And political parties in universities are held by Malays. If non-Malays want to form apolitical party, there is no way to get an approval.
25) 5% - the government universities lecturers of non-Malay origins had been reduced from 70% in 1965 to only 5% in 2004 with the reasoning by the Malaysian Education Ministry that they give full support for Malays only.
26) Over the last 40 years, only 5% of non-Malays receive government scholarship.
27) 0 Chinese or Indians were sent to Japan and Korea under "Look East Policy".
28) 128 STPM (A Level) Chinese top students could not get into the course they aspire i.e. medicine, in 2004.Whereas, Malays without proper qualification/results can get into the course.
29) 10% placing for non-bumiputra students for MARA science schools beginning 2003, but only 7% are filled. Before that it was 100% Malays.
30) 50 cases whereby Chinese and Indians are beaten up in the National Service program since 2003.
31) 25% is Malaysian Chinese population in 2004, dropping from 45% since1957 because the government is not supporting non-Malays like how they support Malays.
32) 7% is the present Malaysian Indian population (2004), a drop from 12%since 1957.
33) 2 million Chinese Malaysians had emigrated overseas for the past 40years due to unfair politics.
34) 0.5 million Indian Malaysian had emigrated overseas.
35) 3 million Indonesians had migrated into Malaysia and became Malaysian citizens with bumiputra status.
36) 600,000 are the total amount of Chinese and Indian Malaysians with"red I/C" (a temporary identity card) and were rejected repeatedly when applying for citizenship for over 40 years. Perhaps 60% of them had already passed away due to old age. This shows racism of how easily Indonesians got their citizenships compared to the Chinese and Indians.
37) 5% - 15% discount for a Malay to buy a house, regardless whether they are rich or poor.
38) 2% is what Chinese villages get compared to 98% of what Malay villages get for rural development budget.
39) At least 50 road names had been changed from Chinese names to other names.
40) Dewan Gan Boon Leong (in Malacca) was altered to another name(e.g.Dewan Serbaguna) when it was being officially used for a few days.Government tries to shun Chinese names. This happened in the year 2000.
41) 0 temples/churches were built for each housing estate, but every housing estate MUST have at least one mosque/surau built.
42) 3000 mosques/surau were built in all housing estates throughout Malaysia since 1970 with full government support. No temples, no churches are built in housing estates that are supported by government.
43) A Catholic Church in Shah Alam took 20 years to apply to be constructed, but they were told by Malay authorities that it must look like a factory and can't look like a church. Still not yet approve since 2004.
44) Publishing of the Bible in Iban language banned (in 2002).
45) 0 of the government TV stations (RTM1,RTM2, and TV3) have directors of non-Malay origin.
46) 30 government produced TV dramas and films always show the bad guys with Chinese face, and the good guys with Malay face. You can check it out,it has been happening since the 1970s. In recent years, this tendency becomes less.
47) 10 times, at least, Malays(especially Umno) had threatened to massacre the Chinese Malaysians using the May 13th riot in 1969.
48) 20 constituencies won by DAP would either not get funds from the government to develop or be the last ones to develop.
49) 100 constituencies (parliaments and states)had been race-delineated so Chinese voters were diluted and Chinese candidates;particularly DAP candidates, lose in elections. This has been happening since the 1970s.
50) Only 3 out of 12 human rights items are ratified by the Malaysian government since 1960
51) 0 elimination of all forms of racial discrimination (UN Human Rights)is not ratified by Malaysia government since 1960s.
52) 20 reported cases whereby Malay ambulance attendant treated a Chinese patient inhumanely, and Malay government hospital staff purposely delay attending to Chinese patients in 2003. Unreported cases may go up to over200
53) 50 cases each year whereby Chinese; especially Chinese youths, are beaten up by Malay youths in public places. We may check at police reports provided the police took the report, otherwise there will be no record.
54) 20 cases every year whereby Chinese drivers who accidentally knockdown Malays were seriously assaulted or killed by Malays.
55) 12% is what ASB/ASN (Malay owned banks) get per annum while banks fixed deposit is only about 3.5% per annum.
His icon is found in all Hindu temples and is venerated by all Hindus. He is worshipped at the beginning of all activities, journeys, start-of-business etc as Lord Ganesha is the removal of obstacles. As such prayers are always offered to Lord Ganesha first even in a temple as He will remove any obstacles facing your path towards enlightenment.
Legend has it that he was created by Lord Shiva's wife, Parvathi, to stand guard at the door as She bathed with the explicit instruction to not let anybody past. When Lord Shiva returned & found his way blocked, he chopped off the head of this 'guard' in a rage. When Lord Shiva found out that the 'guard' was a creation of Parvathi's, He brought the guard back to life by replacing his head with the first creature He saw which happened to be an elephant.
PS: To all me Hindu friends & relatives, Happy Ganesha Chathurti. To everyone else, may God bless you . . . whatever name you refer Him by.
PSS: Reason fer this posting is not fer any sort of religious brainwashing but rather me small contribution towards helping others understand our different cultures/religions better. Hindu festivals are not just confined to Deepavali & Thaipusam . . .
Saturday, September 15, 2007
By that I mean, there were the usual smoke bombs, fireworks, multitude of costume changes & an array of back-up shiny, sequined dancers. And I had to endure this torture fer almost FOUR fooking hours!!! Was able to not twitch around so much fer the first couple of hours but irritation crept in the third. When JC decided that his "encore" would last an hour and a half, I was ready to go fooking postal! And I mean postal with two M16s, an Uzi & a Magnum fer good measure!
You know how great music makes you feel goosebumps & transports yer very being to a higher plane? Well, this was at the extreme opposite end of the scale where me skin was crawling like there were a million bugs underneath it. I cringed when JC & co did a so-called 'rock' number much to the delight of the clueless crowd. I know I am being harsh but I have never had the displeasure of sitting through such uninspired tripe fer such a prolonged period!
Just to give you an idea of the constituency that JC draws his crowd from, behind me was seated a young teen who was there with his family. When JC asked the audience to clap along, this boy failed miserably in the timing of his claps. C'mon! This was as basic a 4/4 beat you could get & there were several thousand others to help you along but this musically retarded specimen found it difficult to follow . . . Fookin 'ell.
Bernard said he felt somewhat isolated at the Shakti gig at PWTC a few months back. Yes, you were one of the few non-Indians at the show but there were others. Imagine how fooking alienated I felt - 0.5 of an Indian among 20,000 Cina Ah Pek?!? Bloody hell, talk bout stranger in a strange land . . .
Speaking of Shakti, now that was a concert fer the ages - legendary guitarist John MacLaughlin sitting cross-legged on the floor jamming with supreme tabla thumper Zakir Hussain (plus a few other maestros thrown in fer good measure - will give full belated review sometime in future). As an antidote to last nite's musical nightmare, I have posted a classic Shakti video here fer your viewing pleasure (as well as fer me own recuperation). Now, that's what I call music . . .
PS: Yes, I admit I am an elitist prick when it comes to music. Deal with it . . .
PSS: Me wife enjoyed the gig & is thankful I accompanied her to it, so she shall be cooking me nice, wonderful mutton curry tomorrow as a show of appreciation . . .
Friday, September 14, 2007
I'm waiting in my cold cell when the bell begins to chime
Reflecting on my past life & it doesn't have much time
Cos at 5 oçlock they take me to the gallows pole
The sands of time for me are running low
When the priest comes to read me the last rites
I take a look through the bars at the last sights
Of a world that has gone wrong very wrong for me
Can it be there some sort of error?
Hard to stop the surmounting terror
Is it really the end & not some crazy dream?
Somebody please tell me I am dreaming
Its not so easy to stop from screaming
But words escape me whe n I try to speak
Tears flow but why am I crying . . .
Above are the opening bars to Iron Maiden's Hallowed Be Thy Name which reflects the fooking situation I am in now. Few more minutes & I will be making the torturous trek towards Bukit Jalil stadium fer the fooking Jacky Cheung concert. To cap it all of, the skies have darkened in anticipation of a super heavy downpour to make sure I will be drenched before making it into the arena of hell.
What have I done to deserve this - To spend the rest of me Friday evening in the company of several thousand undiscerning, screaming, glow-stick waving, mata sepet, Canto-pop fans !?! This is seriously me own personal hell!
Me hands are all clammy. Me head is full of anxiety. Me ticker is pounding with fear. Me status of cool is in irreversible meltdown. . .
Dear people, please note that I may never recover from this aural rape of me senses, so this might just be me last post as a citizen of cool (cue super melodramatic music) . . .
Thursday, September 13, 2007
PS: Fer Fook's Sake is appalled at this unprovoked attack on a helpless old man. Who would do such a thing . . . tsk, tsk . . . terrible.
PSS: The elderly gentleman has been identified as Alexander Ferguson from Glasgow.
Secondly, she did NOT demand that the albums be arranged in alphabetical order on top of it being filed according to genre / chronological order.
Thirdly, come to think of it, it was me dear wifey who diligently filed away all the LPs, while I just sat around doing fook all. Sorry.
PS: The author of this blog would like to reassure his small constituency of readers that like most local media, postings here are made without fear of reprisals, intimidation or blackmail from the relevant Home Minister . . .
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Yup, took me whole fooking day & some of you may recall in me earlier post I talk bout the joys of collecting vinyl. It's just one of those things I have stuck to all these years; I bought me first LP with me saved pocket money in 1983 - Howard Jones's "Human's Lib" (ring a bell anybody?) & haven't looked back since. And it has steadily grown over the years & it really took off when I was in UK. But I still collect whenever I come across interesting titles & the total tally is just over a thousand pieces (yes, I have wasted/invested that much money on records). And I make it a point to actually listen to my collection at least twice a week.
Previously, all me albums were carefully arranged according to genre & I even put each band's output in chronological order. Anyone who has read Nick Hornby's tome Hi-Fidelity (or seen the movie adaptation with John Cusack & Jack Black) will know just how seriously fooking anal record collectors can be!
Well, when I moved into me own place with me wifey, everything got jumbled up & they just got shoved into any possible storage space. I just kept putting off the task as it was just too daunting; so fer five years I had Black Sabbath LPs sitting next to John Handy while the Sex Pistols snuggled up to Spyro Gyra (I know, I know, every collection must have its fair share of embarrassing mistakes).
Two things occurred to me while I finished the gargantuan task. Firstly, I actually have more jazz LPs than death metal titles! So the common misconception of me being metal-ccentric to the core is way-off the mark (just happened the other day when a visiting friend mentioned how I only listened to metal coz of all the tengkorak on the album covers!). Even I was a bit surprised by sheer number of jazz LPs sitting on its now dedicated shelf. Secondly, there's just soooo many albums I haven't listened to in fooking years & sadly, forgotten about. Of course, some were slipped out of their sleeves & plonked onto the turntable.
Dark Angel's Time Does Not Heal, anyone? Or how about Soundgarden's Badmotorfinger? I also stumbled across me copy of Fleetwood Mac's Rumours & I had to give it a go again since Premo has been nattering about it non-stop. Yes, yes, soft rock rules. . .
One of the lost gems was Monster Magnet's Spine Of God. Brilliant! The album sleeve carried the motto - "It's a satanic drug thing . . . you wouldn't understand" (!!!). If that isn't a sure sign of great contents within, I don't know what is. Awesome stoner space rock that still sounds fooking way out there today! As such I have taken the trouble to find a band video (above) fer yer viewing pleasure (those of you familar with Monster Magnet, enjoy; those who aren't, trip anyways dudes).
I was well chuffed with me efforts when wifey came home & she asked how were the LPs arranged. "Genre & chronologically", I replied smugly. "You mean not alphabetical, ah," came the reply. I told her she could fooking do the CDs on her own . . . and that's another posting fer another time.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Apart from the Anfield addiction, I've always had a soft spot fer Britain's wonderfully eccentric & character-filled automobiles. When I was growing up, I always asked me dad why he always opted fer boring Jap cars (he still does . . . sigh) instead of the hip-looking urban car that was the Mini Clubman; or the sporty MGs & Triumphs; or the super fast saloons of the Brit-made Ford Escorts. He answer was that "once bitten, twice shy - had a Vauxhall once, that was it."
Anyways, looking at the once proud bastion of the Brit automotive industry, you will be shocked to see that all of its icons now belong in foreign hands. Mini (BMW, Germany), Jaguar (Ford, USA), MG (Nanjing Automobile Group, China), Aston Martin (General Motors, USA), Rolls Royce (BMW, Germany), and of course, Lotus (Proton, M'sia). Even the smaller cottage industries such as TVR (Nikolai Smolenski, Russia) & the London Black Cab (Geely Group, China) have not been spared. Only the aforementioned mechanical/stylistic horror that is Vauxhall has been left alone, wonder why . . .
Similarly, English football clubs seem to be heading the same way of its automotive industry. Aston Villa (Randy Lerner, USA), Fulham (Mohd Al-Fayed, Egypt), Liverpool (Gillette & Hicks, USA), Chelsea (Roman Abromovich, Russia), Portsmouth (Gaydamak family, Russia), Man Utd (Glazer family, USA), Birmingham City (Carson Yueng, Hong Kong), are all foreign owned and with every indication that Arsenal will also be going the same route.
Now, here in a terribly roundabout way, I'd like to make me point. If the incredibly proud Brits are willing to accept (albeit grudgingly) the sale of national treasures/icons to slimy foreigners, why shouldn't we accept that Proton might be better off with VW or some other foreign behemoth?
I have heard from various quarters why this symbol of "national" pride must be saved at all costs. Some have called fer 20-year old cars to be scrapped to which I say, "NO FOOKING WAY!". This is a company that is massively hemorrhaging public funds. And lest we forget, in order to protect its plastic ass, we have the National Automotive Policy which makes everything else fooking expensive - almost ridiculously so. Why talk about Vision 2020 when we can't even compete in a free market in 2007, eh? And please, don't give me the tirade bout globalisation is another form of colonialism. How is it acceptable that we continuously bail out this sinking (sunken?) Titanic fer the benefit of the few wankers who profit from it?
While we wait for Proton to play catch-up, we end up paying over the odds fer sub-standard vehicles. Think about it, M'sia is still the most vibrant & largest car market in SEA. So why are deprived of the many safety aspects that are standard in other countries - air bags fer all passengers, sat nav, anti-lock braking, traction control etc?
Just like the Brits before, Proton were content on selling same old shit fer decades without any real improvements? Sure la, people get fed up. Now, its time to sell up & quite possibly open the market to outsiders. Stiff competition has a way of eliminating the mouldy & rotten aspects of any industry - especially one that is beset with cronies still trying to wring every last sen out of a cash cow's squashed udder.
Yes, I am sure many families were made mobile by Proton's (artficially) affordable wheels. But just like the once-stagnant British car industry, it needs to change with the times. As per mentioned above, due to Ford's billions, Jaguar has now come up with another batch of world-conquering saloons & coupes. Aston Martin is famous enough to be a Desperate Housewive's ultimate asseccory (Gabriel Sollis drives a purple DB9 convertible). The new Mini has vowed a new generation (though I am still a fan of the classic model) & Rolls Royce has reclaimed "the best car in the world" tag.
Of course, the one glaring omission is Lotus which was bought by Proton as a glamour accessory. In all those years of ownership, what besides the Satria GT's suspension were this Norfolk outfit's expertise utilised? Fookin waste or what?!? (Yes, the Savvy has a chassis & other bits designed by Lotus, but frankly, it looks like fooking shite).
Time to sell up & move on I say . . . & maybe even hope fer some better cars on the roads that might help reduce our record-breaking accident rates.
PS: Before anyone lambasts me fer me Monster, please note that I currently own two Minis (1965 MkI & a 1973 MkII). At least me Jap car is a tribute to the heyday of British open top motoring.
PSS: Check out video above fer more proof that Protons are complete shite. A Ford Fooking Fiesta did better than it did in a crash test . . . the horror, the horror . . .
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Fer those who do not know what I am rambling about, this long-standing institution of great music appears on Astro's ch26 (BBC) every Friday nite at 11pm (repeat Sun 2am); which is fooking shame since most young hipsters who enjoy good music will be out clubbing, getting wasted etc. (The fact that I am in fer both screenings should indicate that I am neither young or a hipster . . . sigh!)
Besides the cool vibe & wide-ranging selection of artistes on the show, the great joy is in discovering a previously unknown act (to me anyway) with a wickedly different take on things. And I have found plenty of reasons to rejoice - the supremely cool Parisian noir sounds of Gotan Project & the electrifying fret work of Raul Midon are just some of the revelations I have encountered on this wonderful program. (You can find all these acts on youtube - so do check em out).
But me fave (thus far) has got to be Gogol Bordello. Described as a bunch of anarchic gypsy punks (!!!) with an almost UN-like line-up, their gigs are like a rowdy pub brawl being sound tracked by BOTH The Clash & The Pogues! Have included video of their performance from Later with Jools Holland (above), please please do take a few minutes to enjoy this fooking awesome band! You will NOT be disappointed.
To paraphrase a certain Julie Andrews, "The (airwaves) are alive with the sooooound of muuuusic . . ."
Friday, September 7, 2007
Wanna bet it'll be the same old tactic of shocking hikes fer alcohol & tobacco which will hog the headlines? Like I said, I used to run a pub & Badawi's taxes on both those items made business fooking unfeasible.
The strange thing is that with these fookin ridiculous hikes, you can get contraband virtually anywhere now. Smuggling has become a very lucrative trade. Even the small sundry shops near me house has an ample supply of beer & liquor (everything from Chivas to Bombay Sapphire) at duty-free prices. Hooo-fookin-ray!
While at the Indonesian-run shop, you can buy various brands of kretek at a fraction of the list price. Great innit. The higher the taxes, the cheaper things become in some places . . . while the real issue of a nation's economy remains stuck in a rut.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
As reported in papers today, some daredevils broke into former IGP Tun Hanif Omar's residence & stole . . .wait for it . . . a karaoke set! A couple of months ago, another ex-IGP Tan Sri Norian Mai also fell prey to a couple of parang-wielding hoodlums who broke into his house not once . . . but twice! Talk about balls!
Late last year, a former deputy IGP lost some loot to armed robbers while in Feb 06, former Penang police chief Datuk Albert Mah tragically lost his life fighting off five robbers at his home in Jln Gasing.
To many citizens, this is just a clear indication of the spiralling crime rate. To conspiracy theorists, the question is what is it that these ex-cops know that they are being targeted? Were the robbers looking fer something in particular - a safe containing various VIP secrets/skeletons (ala Vijendran's home movie collection)?
Is someone out there sending a message/warning?
Cynics will just say : former high-ranking cop = serious loot. So they become obvious targets. Hmmmm . . . what d'ya think?
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
We got in just in time to catch Langsuir - one of the best death metal bands from our shores (this is what I call Malaysia Boleh!). I recall seeing them almost 15 years ago in the very same venue where they played their debut set to a packed house & basically blew every other act off the fooking stage (sorry, carburetor dung). Me mates & meself were terribly impressed then with Langsuir's confident and unpretentious approach to the show. No broken Englander intros, no idle chit chat, no berating the crowd . . . just pure unadulterated fooking death metal (with all the appropriate melodramatic gesturing!). And here I was with the same two friends (Nick & Bernard) I was with at that first gig - great to see marriage, kids & other middle-age issues did not stop us from attending this ultra-important event.
Needless to say, Langsuir thrashed up a pretty healthy mosh pit and all the hair farmers were at the fore doing their best 'just wash & go' adverts. Fer the uninitiated, Langsuir's music is a wicked mix of Venom +Cradle+Deicide & will induce automatic whiplash. Only minor complaint is that I think it is quite unbecoming fer the lead singer to have short locks - call me old-fashioned, but front men of nasty, growly death metal bands should always have hair to their arses fer that added effect. But hey, still a cool 9/10 fer Langsuir. Who would have thought a local outfit would survive all these years . . .
Up next was veteran scenester Aru & his merry band of Rastas who struck up a huge cacophony of Sepultura/Soulfly-like mayhem with a healthy dose of Wailers. Nothing wrong with wearing yer influences on yer sleeves but sorry, I was a wee bit disappointed as the sound was muddled & bordering on shambolic at times. Koffin Kanser is one of the best hardcore metal bands around & it was a crying shame that their 20 minutes was blighted by piss poor sound. Tis not enough to just create a visual impact without a crisp, crunchy explosion of riffs in yer face to get the adrenaline flowing. A low 6/10 fer KK. Sorry.
Last opening act fer the nite was Sil Khannaz - yet another superb local outfit that has defied the years by continually churning out grade-A death metal. Proof of their enduring popularity was the sold-out 10th anniversary show at Planet Hollywoood a few months back. I remember completely wearing out me copy of Pendita Gila on we walkman (yes, tape, not downloaded onto ipod) years ago. And SK were able to overcome the sound gremlins that blighted KK's set which meant SK's brand of ultra-technical metal was able to shine thru the amps & stacks. Though the band seem to be carrying a few extra spare tires, energy levels was pumped to the max & plenty of Yngwie-style solos dotted the set list which spanned the entire discography. Tighter than a baboon's arse, SK ran heavy metal amok before the inevitable "Akuuuuulaaah . . . Siiiiiiiiillll Khaaaaaanz (in demonic vocals)" closed their set to thunderous applause. Another Malaysia Boleh 9/10 rating fer this lot.
Time had come fer the main course - NAPALM DEATH. One of the hardest working underground bands out there, these guys soldier on (not even the passing of axeman Jesse Pintando - RIP - could stop them). As mentioned earlier, the previous show suffered from less-than-metal volumes. Now, if you attend a Napalm show, you'd expect yer eardrums to bleed or at least be ringing fer a couple of days. From the very first crunching riff & stomp of the double bass drums, the sheer sonic boom was a revelation. Napalm stormed thru their early material & the groundbreaking stuff from 'Scum' & 'From Enslavement to Obliteration' LPs getting the best response. Incredible that a band that started almost two decades ago is still one of the most extreme outfits still plying their trade. Goes to show - "form is in temporary, class is permanent". Lead growler Barney Greenway also took the time to wish us all 'a happy independence day' & implored us to be united by metal, not divided by race, religion or creed! Well fookin said, Barney (but shame on you fer the short hair as well)!
Even after all these years, Napalm's sound is still razor-sharp & is still amazing to experience the scrotum-crunching-power of tracks such as 'Multinational Corporations', 'Human Garbage' & 'Suffer The Children' up close & personal. Premo (younger & therefore more recklessly energetic) had decided to live dangerously by diving into the swarming mosh pit; only to surface a few tunes later with the simple verdict, "brutal, dude". Right on! Us old fogies decided to headbang closer to the bar area fer obvious reasons . . .
Of course, the sold out crowd demanded an encore. Napalm kindly obliged with what else . . . a tune dedicated (me thinks anyways) to the ruling party of this country . . . a cover of the Dead Kennedy's "Nazi Punks Fuck Off!". As we headed off into the night, bellies full of alcohol, ears damaged by grindcore/metal, & a neck stiff from banging, the one thing that was evident on all the faces . . . the HUGE FOOKIN SMILES - 10/10!
Thanks to Napalm & all the supporting acts fer a fooking awesome show. Fer me mates & meself, a great show to cherish & also help defy the onslaught of old age . . . Again, metalheads (as the bands themselves ably demonstrated) don't grow old, they just cultivate pot bellies!
PS: Please watch the track above dedicated to the United Malays Nazi Organisation above. Cheers!!!