Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Mat Bulat's curse!

Once upon a fooking time under the previous administration, there was a fooking moron known to all & sundry as Mat Bulat. In fact, that was probably one of the kinder names attached to the stain on humanity legally known as Dato Mohd Rahmat.

If you ever wanted to hear the most inane & moronic statements, he was the go-to-guy. If you ever want to cringe in embarrassment, you just had to listen to him licking the Mighty Tun's arse clean in the Dewan or just about anywhere sound travels.

The fact that he held the important position of Minister of Information did NOT fooking help. It was he who slapped all sorts of "no kissing, no fondling, basically no fooking touching between the sexes on screen" rules fer us. He treated the media with disdain & his morale crusade included getting the band members of Search to cut their hair or face a fooking blanket ban over the airwaves as well as concerts. Man, did the sight of this retard make me blood fooking boil. Oh, how we Malaysians celebrated when he retreated from our political landscape. It was as though the long broken sewer pipe had been fixed & the air was fresh & clean fer once.

But our joy was short lived. After a brief hiatus, the curse of Mat Bulat is back to haunt us. This time in the form of Dato Seri Mohd Nazri Abdul Aziz - the de facto law minister & Minister in the PM's dept. He has been attacking our neurological senses with various well-timed bullshit bombs over the past few years.

One of the more recent & memorable "statements" was when he quipped that the whistle-blowers in the judge-fer-sale fiasco would be safe under Malaysia's "witness protection programme"!!! Ok, Dato Seri, we know you love the fooking movies but don't you even know that no such thing fooking exists given that you are the fooking law minister!?!

In case you missed his very latest gem, do read Tuesdays headlines. Sultan Azlan Shah was commenting on the many problems facing the judiciary & the Bar Council in these uncertain times. The learned ex-Lord President said,"Sadly, I must acknowledge there has been some disquiet about our judiciary over the past few years and in the more recent past.

"Nothing destroys more the confidence of the general public, or the business community, has in the judiciary than the belief that the judge was biased when he decided the case, or that the judge would not be independent where powerful individuals or corporations are the litigants before him. Judges in Malaysia must be ever mindful that they are appointed judges for ALL Malaysians. They must be sensitive to the feelings of all parties, irrespective of race, religion or creed, and be careful not to bring a predisposed mind to an issue before them that is capable of being misconstrued by the watching public or segments of them," he continued.

Wise words indeed from the Sultan of Perak who is very highly regarded in the legal fraternity.

Dato Seri Nazri who was also at the 14th Malaysian Law Conference where Sultan Azlan Shah's damning words reverberated with astounding alacrity, had this to say:
"We respect the opinions (he had no choice but to say that in deference to royalty). . . But what is the public? The public means a thousand people or a whole nation?"

Is it just me or can you also feel yer senses blacking out? I have a niggling suspicion that when faced with certain intelligentsia such as the legal & press fraternities, the govt has learned that the best weapon is to bamboozle us with a Moron of inverse Einstein proportions. Thus we will not be able to engage in fruitful dialogue nevermind any sort of debate, challenge or question over govt policy.

They know these groups have highly tuned bullshit detectors, so why try to outsmart them when they can fooking flood us with the stuff & muffle our dissenting voices under an avalanche of the brown stuff.

Just how much shit can you take, people . . .?

PS: Nazri was also heard commenting on the recent 'march for justice' by lawyers demanding a probe into the judge-fer-sale video controversy. He said only 2000-odd lawyers turned up when there are over 13,000 lawyers in the country. "These lawyers are just a minority," he quipped. Fooking hell!!!

PSS: Sultan Azlan Shah's background in law - In 1965, at the age of only thirty-seven years, Raja Azlan was elevated to the Bench of the High Court of Malaya being the youngest judge to be appointed in the Commonwealth. In 1973, he was made a Federal Court judge and six years later in 1979, Chief Justice of Malaya, an office which he held until his appointment as the youngest-ever Lord President of the Federal Court of Malaysia on 12 November 1982.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Dear wifey . . .

It is usually me who does the cooking in the house, so it should come as no surprise that the meals will revolve around (usually meaty) items like the Rum Bones recipe below. Very often me cooking skills will be met with a tirade of grumblings from dear wifey.

"Why must you cook so much meat?" . . . nag, nag . . . "This meal is so unbalanced & unhealthy?". . . nag, nag . . . "Can't you attempt more greens fer the sake of yer health?" etc etc.

You get the picture, rite. So after another long lecture, I kindly asked her to do the cooking fer a change. Besides, I would like to feel pampered once in a fooking while. So off she went to the market & to her credit she slaved over a hot stove fer three fooking hours.

The meal was fabulous. The menu? This is what me dear wifey considers a "healthy" meal:
1) Herbal chicken soup (ok, so far so good on the healthy diet part)
2) Deep fried pork ribs marinated in five spice powder, wine & eggs!
3) Pork Pongteh!! (fooking hell, is this oink lover's wet dream or what!?!)
4) And to round it all off, a tiny bowl of long beans stir fried with . . . wait fer it . . . siew yok (roast pork)!!!

Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed the meal but I have two pertinent questions:
1) Do any of you blokes out there also face the problems of a NAGGING wifey who is also a HYPOCRITE?
2) In light of me recent health issues, is it possible dear wifey is trying to subtly shuffle me off this mortal coil?

PS: Dear wifey, thanx fer a lovely meal although I can still feel the calories & the lard clogging up me arteries . . .

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Fer Pandi Lovers only PtII - Rum Bones

Would like to share with all budding amateur chefs out there one of me fave things to do on the weekend - RUM BONES! Inevitably, it involves the wonderful oink. Easy-peasy roast & fooking delicious. Trust me!

1) BBQ sauce (just buy la, no need to make yer own)
2) HP classic sauce
3) Worcester sauce
4) Bay leafs
5) Rum (lots of it - preferably Bacardi gold; you could also use Jack Daniels or Southern Comfort)
6) Olive oil (extra virgin if possible)
7) Homemade spice & pepper mix * (see below)
8) Pork ribs (cut whole rib into half & apportion three 'half' ribs fer an adult)
9) Honey (optional)
10) 1 large onion

Homemade Spice & Pepper Mix
1) 50gm paprika powder
2) 50gm cheyenne powder
3) 50gm nutmeg powder
4) Whole black pepper corns (about 40 seeds)
5) Cloves (about 30 seeds)
6) 7-8 sticks of cinnamon
7) Salt (about 2 tablespoons)
8) 5 whole bay leafs

Dry roast all spices in oven @ 180 degrees Celsius fer about 15-20 minutes or until fragrant. You could also use a wok but I find an oven easier to avoid burning. Place all the spices along with the powders & salt in a food processor & blend into a fine powder. Conversely you can use a pestle & mortar but the final product would not be as finely ground but this shouldn't matter too much as a marinade. Believe me, this process of making yer own spice & pepper mix is well worth it as it imbues a real flavour & aroma to yer chops. Plus this one blend should give you a whole jam jar's worth & you can use it for future BBQs & roasts.

Rum Bones -Method: (recipe measurements is based on preparation fer 2kg of meat or 8-10 'half ribs')
Do ask yer towkay babi fer the meatier portions of the ribs & chop each rib into half pieces. Wash & place ribs into a large container fer marinating. First add the homemade spice & pepper mix along with some additional salt (to taste). Rub into ribs & then add a large splash of olive oil, followed by generous lashings of RUM. Add about 5-7 tablespoons of Worcester sauce & mix well. Squeeze plenty of BBQ & HP sauces (& honey if you so wish) onto the ribs & make sure each rib is well covered in the marinade. Chop onion in half or quarters but leave skin on & place in with the ribs (plus the bay leafs as well). Cover & leave in fridge fer a few hours (preferably overnight).

Heat oven at 200 degrees Celsius & place ribs (& onion & bay leaf) onto a roasting tray (do add some olive oil onto tray to avoid ribs sticking onto it or better still use banana leaf as foil). Use remainder marinade 'juice' fer basting. Roast ribs fer 1 hour then turn the ribs over & roast at 250 degrees Celsius fer another 15 minutes to get it slightly charred on one side.

Serve as snack with some very cold beer or as main course with a salad/coleslaw/mashed potato. Enjoy & have a good weekend!!!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Viva la Rafalution?

Me thoughts on European Cup action this (& yesterday) morning:

Chelsea - Have lost their charismatic leader & most successful manager . . . ever; his replacement a unqualified nobody. Their talismanic 33-goal striker threatens to quit. Their capt & inspirational figure is out injured. This morning's score: Chelsea 2 v Shalke 0.

Arsenal - Start season without the great Thierry Henry. Not only was he their best player but perhaps one of the greatest of this generation. Fooking huge boots to fill or what? Their scoreline: Arsenal 7 v Slavia Prague 0

Scum: Started season badly with injuries & suspensions. Lost derby game. No out-&-out striker save injury-prone Saha. They travelled to Dynamo Kiev & won 4-2 (which makes it 12 goals in three games).

The "Mighty" Reds: Started season well but wobbled in Europe. Our campaign has begun to disintegrate at the usual Oct/Nov stretch. Against the weakest team in the group, Rafa proclaimed that "this is a game we cannot afford to lose." Lose we did (1-2) but even more damning is that we never looked like winning the tie. Uefa cup football anybody? . . . sigh

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I, Malaysian?

About 20 years ago, I recall a family friend telling us how he had spent a fortune buying land in India & was building some houses there. He said it was fer the future so that he and more importantly his children would have somewhere to go. Perplexed by what he meant, I asked "Uncle, why would you want to move from here to India?"

"In this country we are a minority. You just never know when the majority will insist that everyone become Abdullah," reasoned Paranoid Uncle. I thought what an illogical thing to say. "This is Malaysia - peaceful & harmonious with freedom of religion fer all," I thought to meself; the scenario Paranoid Uncle described would never happen . . . not here.

Forward two decades & it would appear Paranoid Uncle isn't too far off the mark. Please follow link below to see a short documentary claiming that that scenario has already happened.

Now, this short film (Malaysia - At The Crossroads - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9zmRMoDt58 ) has been around fer quite some time. But the issues within remain hot topics as far as many Malaysians are concerned. If you are of a "sensitive"disposition or lack sufficient grey matter to hear out reasonably articulated views; do NOT watch it & please fooking piss off, you're in the wrong blog.

However, if you are concerned citizen of this nation, I urge you to view this short documentary. Fer those of you who still think Malaysia is paradise on earth (or in space?), please watch the vid & do think about the many questions it poses.

Fer starters, how can any Malaysian, especially non-bumis, NOT be angry after watching the vid? Those of you who say we are not being marginalised, please tell it to the grieving Hindu widow. As the film says, it was a show of power from the Muslim authorities to deny a national hero the proper last rites. This also proves it is incomprehensible that a non-Muslim could ever be viewed as a national hero in this land. And even our "astronaut" has been elevated to bringing pride to Muslims everywhere but lest we forget, all Malaysians had to fooking foot the massive bill. Go figure. I suppose serve all those stupid wankers who thought it a brilliant idea & believe me there are plenty!

Mob mentality rules here. Everything is an "insult to Islam". Article 11 meetings have been disrupted by the Mat "Osama is our hero" Jangguts. And their actions have been validated by our dear smiley, friendly, sleepy PM.

Listening to the mufti of Perak just fooking makes me blood boil as he openly says we risk "racial conflict" if we "disturb Islam". He goes on to contend that in this country the Chinese & the Indians "bully the Malays" as they are the rich & powerful in Malaysia. What fooking bollocks?!? What the fook is he talking about?!?

The unfortunate truth is too many Malaysians believe in the status quo while too many Malays actually believe we, the non-Bumis, are here to bully, colonise & enslave them! Even among the grumbling hordes in cyberspace I know of people have said they cannot be bothered to vote.

I said a long time ago during the previous administration's reign that the country will go down the toilet when someone else less powerful (& less intelligent) takes over from the Mighty Tun & fooking takes all the wrong/corrupt/chauvinistic practices as precedents set in fooking stone.

As fer all you teary-eyed nostalgists who wish the Mighty Tun was back in power, lest not forget, it was he who elevated the Syariah court to the position it is now. It is he who attempted to restrict the rights of non-Muslims to worship. It is he who fooking fooked up the fooking judiciary! It is he who put vanity projects & one-upsmanship as the yardstick to measure success (he builds twin fooking towers, current PM sends Dr Model into space). The list goes on . . .

Again, I stress although the language here might be a tad harsh, it is NO way meant to insult ANYONE'S religion. The comments are also NOT intended to be racist but merely reflective of the existing racist policies that have us living in fear. It is merely venting at the continuing marginalisation of people who have worked hard to make this country great & know of no other place as home . . .

PS: As usual all reasonably-minded Malaysians are invited to post their comments regarding the state of our beloved nation.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Lucky Strikes

Now I know a lot of Kopites will be celebrating the win over the blue nosed bastards & thinking we've turned the corner. Sorry, but me being the pessimistic supporter is still unconvinced that we are anywhere nearer to ending our league title drought.
Now, after the euphoria of winning an explosive derby, let's put things into perspective. The ref won it fer us. Yes, we deserved the two pens & they were red card offences. But wouldn't you say likewise regarding the two times Lescott was impeded in our area; especially the stoppage time incident when he was wrestled to the ground by our Carra. Kuyt was also lucky fer his off-the-ground & two-footed challenge.

As I've said before, if we don't like being robbed by refereeing decisions, we shouldn't expect to win because of em. The ref was fooking crap & their ilk is fast destroying the game we love. How long before a Seria A-type debacle stains the English game. Look at the number of high profile games where the ref has been the talking point instead of the footie - LFC v Chelsea, Man Utd v Chelsea & now the Merseyside derby.

As fer Rafa's tactics, can someone explain why he did nothing to stop the threat Lescott posed throughout the match? Why was it necessary fer us to fooking play our strikers so deep that they are part of the midfield? And why, oh why, does one take off yer captain when a derby is finely poised at 1-1?
Rafa said it was to have a player who could hold & pass the ball better ie the raw & untested Lucas Leiva. So take off Momo, not Stevie G who lives fer these occassions. Fooking hell, this is a derby game & you take off the one player who gives us a psychological edge (in the absence of Torres) over our opponents!?! As commentator (& ex-Blue Nose) Andy Gray remarked, David Moyes will be the happiest man at Goodison to see Gerrard off the field.

We fooking struggled even when faced with 10 men when we should be pummelling them. Instead it was Everton who seized the initiative. Fer a study in contrast, just look at how our rivals dispatched their opponents. Arsenal were well below par but still comfortably walked all over Bolton. The Mancs comprehensively dismantled Villa away even though they were a goal down.
Yes, it was a hard battle won & sometimes you need the rub of the green. But I have a strange feeling it will be the usual case of false dawns & one step forward, three steps backwards come the do-or-die mission v Besiktas & the gunner's visit next weekend.
Why? You do not win the English Premier League by having changed yer side 106 consecutive times . . .
PS: I sincerely hope I am wrong bout this, really I do. As usual I look forward to yer comments on this subject we all hold so dear to our hearts.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Important notices

1) Fer those of you who did not catch last nite's Sound of the 70s (Astro BBC ch731, Fri Midnite), you missed one helluva show. Showcasing the names & talents from 1977-1979, viewers were treated to performances by The Clash, Buzzcocks, The Damned, Siouxie & The Banshee, Joy Division & The Undertones. Fooking awesome! Please check yer guides to see if there is a repeat; if not next week's edition continues on the punk theme but going stateside with Blondie, The Ramones & (???) Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band.

2) Calling all Kopites. Please note that the rowdy, boisterous & fun independent Liverpool supporters club will be gathering at MBar (Phileo Damansara 1, Jln 16/11 - next to East-In hotel, PJ) fer tonite's Merseyside derby (koff 730pm). Be there early as there will be prizes & various other footie-related trivia to keep the early (Liver) birds entertained. Fer more details please log on to http://my-rawk.blogspot.com/ . (sorry, canna join you guys as me is on strict alcohol/tobacco ban).

3) Anyone seen a silver Proton Perdana bearing the plates BGJ9830 ; please call the coppers or inform our dear Bernard. His wheels got flicked in front of his office in broad daylight.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Enter The Dragon!

This story was spotted in today's edition of The Sun. And we thought that the local papers were fooking full of shite & devoid of any useful information. . . tsk tsk

(Please note pix are from Fer Fook's Sake personal collection & not from The Sun)
Press Digest by Kong See Hoh
Just when married Chinese women thought they can heave a sigh of relief now that the govt has turned down requests to import maids from China, they have to contend with a new threat - mistresses from China.
To be precise, they are mistresses for hire and are fast becoming a hit with roving males in small towns in northern peninsular Malaysia. According to a report in Oriental Daily News, these women, who are mainly from southern China, can be hired at RM2,000 a month.
Their "invasion"of mainly smaller towns in Perak and Penang began a few months ago and their presence - many turning up at eateries still in their nighties for breakfast - turns heads and is a hot subject of gossip among the rather conservative folk. According to the report, these mistresses, aged between 25 and 30 and pretty on the average, troop into the country on social visits visas with the help of a 'Big Sister'- a mistress for hire turned "agent".
The Big Sis show would-be sugar-daddies pictures of these women and after they have made their pick, arranges for them to fly in. The women pay for their way here but after the "affairs", the sugar-daddies would pay for their ticket home.
Apart from having to return to their love nest at the end of the day, they are free to work for extra income at nightspots but are not allowed to engage in sex. A contractor told the daily he got to know a Big Sis through a friend who had engaged her services. He said Big Sis showed him a stack of pictures of pretty Chinese women and told him he just had to make his pick and the woman of his choice would be in M'sia to meet him within a month.
He was told he needed only pay RM2,000 a month as pocket money to the mistress and provide her with a place to stay.

Fer Fook's Sake has a few questions though - what does the reporter mean by "pretty on the average"? So-so only? Most of them average looking? On average they are mostly pretty?
Is there a money back guarantee if chosen mistress does not match pix quality?
Can we place her in a shed as a living quarters? Hole in the ground toilet (just like in China) can or not ?
Is Puchong considered a "small town"?
Since I've given up tobacco & booze, RM2000 a month seems like a decent deal, rite fellas? . . . Oh, hello, wifey. . . crash, bang, wallop!!! . . . (chair breaking) . . . (glass smashing) . . . (bones cracking) . . .
Sorry, Siaran Tergendala

Mrs Fer Fook's Sake would like to apologise fer the sudden loss of transmission. This blog will be temporarily be out of commission as blogger learns to use his limbs again . . .

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Are we really that stupid?

Now, there have been two headline hogging issues that I have steered clear of with good reason. The first one is regarding the two fooking space monkeys masquerading as pioneering Malaysians. It just fooking pisses me off this space stunt, it really does. A quick browse thru many of the local blogs & you would think that most reasonable & right-thinking citizens would be up in arms over this colossal waste of tax payers money.

The mind boggles at what RM100 million could have been used fer - better public health services, improved education facilities or building better flyovers that don't come tumbling down mid-construction! At a time when our economy is in tatters & people are really struggling with the increasing prices of fooking EVERYTHING, the govt fooking decides to do this instead of kick-starting the economy.

But cometh the day to launch our Dr Male Model into orbit, I was fooking stunned to hear people (whom I consider intelligent & reasonable) talking excitedly bout this "monumental" & "historic" Malaysian achievement!?!

"Fooking hell," I blurted out, "You cannot be fooking serious!?!" Unfortunately, they were. And they continued babbling excitedly bout how proud they were to be Malaysians & how fooking handsome the space Doc is etc etc.

Is it just me or has everyone within me earshot suddenly gone stupido? Are we as a nation truly comprised of homo-bodohians or is it due to the constant stream of bullshit the govt feeds us via the various controlled media? The former, I can live with but the latter . . .

Now, the other issue that I have avoided commenting upon is the tragic & truly sickening rape/murder of young Nurlin. Rightfully, we mourn. Surely, the sense of outrage was justified. Questions were asked - what kind of sicko would do such a thing?

Well, if you want to know, just ask any one of the sick bastards/bitches who were guilty of forwarding the email of the poor victim's autopsy pix. I was told they were gruesome; the offending vegetables had yet to be removed.

Now, I don't know bout you but if you were truly sickened, horrified, traumatised, shocked by this tragedy; would you even countenance looking at these pictures, let alone forward them. How could these people trivialise this girl's death into a sensationalist email to be passed around?

I was well & truly shocked when I heard somebody say she wanted to see it. All wild-eyed excitement & all-out curiosity. Y'know what, this person is a mother of two. And I asked her how she could fathom looking at such pix when she had kids of her own.

Again, the mind fooking boggles at what we Malaysians have turned into. Sickos? Look around you, s/he is probably just sitting right next to you . . .

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Celtic Frost- Circle of the Tyrants

Obituary playing Celtic Frost's Circle of Tyrants

Best of Tengkorak Rock!

Continuing on the theme of me last posing, I've remembered another blast from the past. This is a right toughie as the videos above feature two of me very favourite bands doing the same song - Obituary doing a cover of Celtic Frost's Circle Of The Tyrants.

The first video is of the mighty Celtic Frost who are considered to be the pioneers of death/black metal & the video was shot during their early 80s pomp. Check out the band's suitably metal fashion sense! I have always wanted to walk around with a big fooking studded wrist band and dress like a barbarian heavy metal warrior hell bent on leather! Add a bit of face paint & a touch of black mascara & I think I'll look fooking ACE! But noooo, wifey has to be a fooking killjoy & insist I behave me age . . .

Second vid features what I consider to be one of the best death metal bands to have ever walked the planet. I urge even the non-metalheadz to this blog to check em out as their live shows fooking kick ass.

Awesome music + quite possibly the deathliest growl this side of the universe from "singer" John Tardy + serious headbanging from the Obituary themselves = SERIOUS FOOKING METAL!

Again, I ask you to vote on which is the better version - ori or cover? I'm leaning towards the cover as I've had the privilege to actually see Obituary live during their Cause Of Death tour & this song tore the fooking roof off! Like I said, this is a tough choice & as usual, I look forward to yer comments & thoughts on the subject.

PS: Both bands have reformed in the last few years & have new LPs out. Obituary released Executioners Return in Aug 2007 whilst The Frost's new album Monotheist also hit the market earlier this year.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Love will tear us apart / Susanna and The Magical Orchestra

JOY DIVISON + Love will tear us apart +

Compare & Contrast

A few days ago, another blog I frequent (Senorita's I Like It Sweet) recommended a tune she had recently discovered. It was Frente's Bizarre Love Triangle. Of course, almost immediately all the OARs (old-age-rockers) was at pains to point out that it was a cover of a New Order tune.
I will admit that the Aussie band's effort was pretty cool & it was a genuine attempt at doing a well-loved song in a totally different manner. Now when a tune or a band is considered something of a sacred cow (like New Order), it does require some big fooking balls to meddle with it. Coz you're not just messing with a composer's arrangements but you are fooking with millions of punters' tightly-held memories of the tune, the band and of themselves (ie it is the soundtrack to our own lives; how a song reminds you of a certain time in yer life etc).

Senorita did make the effort to check out the original but said she preferred Frente's version. That got me thinking - how many times have I encountered a cover that bettered the original or at least did a major reworking to the tune. One that immediately pops into mind is The Cardigans ultra-sweet & candy-fluff rendition of godfathers of metal Black Sabbath's Sabbath Bloody Sabbath. Then I happened to pick up an old compilation CD that came free with Uncut magazine & it featured this duo called Sussana & The Magical Orchestra.

Now, I know this is gonna piss off a lot of people but their version of Love Will Tear Us Apart is fooking awesome! The original by Joy Division was urgent, frantic & pulse-quickeningly good. It was a totally new way to phrase a love tune & it is rightly held in high esteem. Its so good that New Order (the band that rose from the ashes of Joy Division) also released it as a single later on.

But compare that to new version and Sussana & The Magical Orchestra's version packs just as big a punch in terms of impact. Stark, moody & completely opposite in terms of tempo; their version is fooking brilliant. The cold atmospherics of the keyboards & sweetness of her voice does little to blunt the sheer sense of loneliness this song conveys.

As usual, I look forward to your comments & what you think of the new version compared to the original. Also do feel free to recommend any covers you think might have topped the original composition.

PS: Let me take this opportunity to wish all me Muslim mates Selamat Hari Raya. And to everyone else - HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

RTK - The Kop On Panorama 1964

Shanks and the Kop celebrates the '73 Championship

The way we were

In this darkened times, I cannot but help bask in past glories like many Kopites are wont to do. It is no wonder opposing fans say we enamoured with history. Yet, I make absolutely no fooking apologies fer being a nostalgist & fer revelling in the rich history & traditions of me beloved Liverpool Football Club.

Whether you are a Kopite or not, I strongly urge you to watch these two videos. The vid on our '73 celebrations show the camaraderie & mutual adoration between the Anfield crowd & the late, great Bill Shankly. Even the commentator's voice was quivering with raw emotion.
Where is that connection today? Also note the commentator saying Liverpool played 66 games that season bringing home the league & Uefa cup. And there was no FOOKING ROTATION with that team!

The panaroma segment is a close examination of the living, breathing entity that is the Kop end at Anfield. Contrast this with the deafening silence that it was fer the most part during the Spurs game last weekend. How sad & tragic . . .

If these two videos doesn't bring tears to yer eyes or at least raise a goosebump or two, you are most definitely devoid of a pulse. As usual, feel free to post a comment regarding our beloved Reds & the ongoing debate as to our sudden loss of form.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Useful history lesson

One of the most favoured expressions of all time is "Fook you!" That coupled with the appropriate gesture (see pix of the little hooligan above) is instantly recognisable the world over & whose meaning are never in doubt.

Well, here's the meaning behind the raised finger & the history behind that oft used & abused phrase that has entered our modern lexicon. I received this history lesson from me friend Kevo (TQ mate!) & thought I'd share it with you. I have reproduced said email verbatim.

Reminds me of that old adage, you learn something new everyday. Indeed . . .

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" or "pluck yew".

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, "See, we can still pluck yew!".

Since'"pluck yew" is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative "F", and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird.

And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing!
PS: If any of you have any interesting stories bout the origins of local swear words/gestures, please feel free to share them with us here.

Jeremy Clarkson: Top 10 of 100 cars of the century (Part 1)

Jeremy Clarkson-Top 10 Cars Part 2

Dream Cars

I have been lucky enough to have had the opportunity to be able to afford some of me very own dream machines (though not of the super-expensive luxury variety). Always wanted a Beetle, and me very first car when I started working was a Bug. Me & me mates had plenty of drunken, rowdy adventures in that bright red Buggy, that is, until I fooking wrecked it.

Also been a fan of the Mini ever since I was captivated by the very chic & urban looking Clubman when I was a wee lad. Kept bugging me dad to buy one as a family car but me dad thought they were rubbish cars ("too low, too small & too unconfortable"). So he told me that I had to fooking wait till I was old enough to buy me own wheels. And that's exactly what I did. I now own two models - the Austin MkIII (1973) version was originally bought with a 1275 GT engine but is now in the care of my sibling who has put in quite a few nice touches to it; and me pride & joy the Austin MkI (1965) which is almost 99% original. (Sorry, don't have a digital camera or a scanner to download some pix here - will do so in future).

So it fills with great pride that this humble small car had managed to make it onto Jeremy Clarkson's top 10 of the all time greats. Whatever you may say bout JC, he & his chums make Top Gear the absolute BEST motoring programme on the telly (NTV7, Sun 3pm). Funny, irreverent & downright rude at times, Top Gear manages to capture the very zeitgeist of the infantile male psyche - fast cars & a penchant fer fooking destroying stuff! (see what happens to the Kelisa below & you'll see what I mean. Ha ha!)

So fer you viewing pleasure, here are the videos (above, in two parts) of Jeremy Clarkson top 10 greatest road machines. (note Brit-ccentric bias with complete shut out of Jap cars!)

WARNING: Please have kleenex on stand by to wipe drool, especially with regards to numero uno.

PS: Bernard & wifey - make sure you check out no9; you'll love this bit.

Jeremy Clarkson Destroys Perodua Kelisa

Monday, October 8, 2007

Fizzling out

RE: LFC v Spurs

Two managers with points to prove & a battle of opposite ends of the table. What can I say? It was an open, entertaining game with the end result benefitting nobody in particular. This 2-2 draw sums up how both sides have spectacularly failed to live up to early season promise - LFC to be among the premiership contenders & spurs to finally make it into the top four. Both are fooking way off the mark.

Once again, it appears that our push fer the long awaited no 19 has fooking fizzled out before Nov. The optimists will point that it was a much improved display but fact remains, the usual suspects such as Arsenal & the Mancs have fooking put daylight between us & themselves.

Ok, we tried & should have buried Spurs by half-time. But who's fooking fault is that?

Sunday, October 7, 2007

What's the point?

"We do not want to pretend and say that everything is okay. We do not want to be in a state of denial. Tell the truth, even if it is painful." - PM Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi on sugar-coating the facts pertaining to racial ties in the country. (front page of Sunday NST)

This posting is not a radical examination of race relations but Fer Fook's Sake would like to take up the PM's invitation to openly discuss things without a diabetes-inducing mountain of the sweet stuff.

As a non-Muslim, I'd like to share some observations with me fellow Malaysians. But please note that this post is in NO way intended to insult Islam or to provoke any sort of racial sensitivity (this is quite clear but morons will always somehow misinterpret things); instead it is hoped that it will instill a better understanding among us with an open & honest discussion of our Malaysian traits & idiosyncrasies. Ti's just me making some observations, so please feel free to discuss & comment.

RE: Common courtesy

On me commute home from work I have to pass the Sri Kembangan flyover exit on the highway & traffic on this stretch of the road is usually quite fooked up due to the number of vehicles making the turn off into the area.

A couple of days ago, the fooking queue was anaconda length as many people were obviously rushing home to break fast with family & relatives. Most people patiently waited in line but I spotted this tudung-wearing lady just zoom straight to the front & muscle her way into the queue. She's probably in a rush to get home but does she not realise that many of her Muslim brethren behind her are similarly pressed fer time? Is she aware that her anti-social behaviour negates the whole purpose of fasting?

Please note I am fully aware that bad road manners is problem among ALL Malaysians but I would have thought this special & holy month fer Muslims would at least curb such behaviour fer the time being among the faithful.

RE: The Buka Puasa Buffet

I was told by me learned Muslim friends that one of the main purposes of fasting is so you are able to appreciate being in the shoes of someone less fortunate ie making do with just one meal a day & so forth. Thus when a Muslim breaks fast, s/he is supposed to have a modest meal as befitting a person with limited means; NOT indulge in the all-out gluttony that is so prevalent during this time by gorging oneself silly at the many buffet treats at swanky hotels/restaurants.

Another Muslim colleague also says she has stopped going fer these buffets as they have become ridiculously expensive which again defeats the purpose of leading a rudimentary lifestyle during Ramadan. She says she is also disgusted by the typical Malaysian trait of hoarding as much food as the plate can hold simply because it is a buffet (& its usually the most expensive items). The wastage on every table is a sin any time of the year, nevermind Ramadan.

An elderly pakcik in the company also voiced his discomfort at having to attend a company sponsored buffet at a club house as he says this was a time fer spiritual reflection rather than focusing on one's own constant hungers & desires.

Fer Fook's Sake is also of the opinion that these Buka Puasa buffets have become de rigeour with mega corporations here. Many of the large organisations fall over themselves to treat their clients, vendors & media contacts to lavish & increasingly expensive affairs as a means to show off their status & credentials.

If these corporations want to belanja makan, wouldn't it be better & altogether more appropriate to supply food to the many orphanages, retirement homes or charity organisations throughout Ramadan to reflect the good will this holy period is supposed to instill in people.

These observations are just some of the examples of how ALL Malaysians are beginning to lose perspective of the truly important things in life & what should mark us out as a caring, sensitive & thoughtful human beings. We have come a long way since the 70s & not all of it is pretty or welcome additions to our culture . . .

Friday, October 5, 2007

Fooking Vandals

Feeling really crappy. Not just because me beloved Reds is playing footie fer the fooking ages but some bastardo vandalised me Monster. This wanker cut a hole in me canvas roof . . . sigh.

Why do people feel the need to show off their handiwork & artistic abilities on other people's property? Really fooked up.

Anyhows. have plastered it up & will now have to start saving fer a new canvas which is gonna cost a fooking bomb. But what is to stop some other fooker from doing the same? . . . sigh

Anyways, to help cheer everyone up (meself included), here's a blast from the past (1984 to be exact, when I was a wee lad). Queen were certainly one of the masters of the rousing anthem. Fer those of you who remember, they stole the show at the original Live Aid with their fooking awesome performance (especially this song which had the Wembley crowd singing & synchro-clapping along - vid also available on youtube.)

PS: I wonder when will us Kopites be able to sing "We Are The Champions" at the end of a league campaign (if ever).

Radio Ga Ga

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Angst @ Anfield

RE: LFC v Marseille

Abysmal, awful, abject . . . The list goes on but you kinda get the picture bout our performance against a team who are 16th in the French league (or thereabouts) & have not won away in Europe since 1999! Fooking hell!

Please do NOT get me wrong. I derive NO pleasure or satisfaction when me dire predictions regarding our beloved Reds are proven true (once too often fer me own liking; I did sound out possible Basel-type fiasco in me previous posting). But to the Rafa loyalists I have this to say, I am not anti-Rafa but when the team plays crap footie & the results are similarly fooking shite, it is time to wake up & smell the coffee . . .

Like I said, despite his previous successes at Valencia & at Anfield, the old adage that "you are only as good as yer last game" holds true. And on the back of this morning's evidence, fooking hell, mate, you decide . . .

Just like when Roy Evans was playing flowing, attacking footie, I sounded out me reservations bout playing Barnesy in the middle of the park & the lack of defensive solidity. It was 1996 & was told to shut it as we were top of the league at X'mas. In the end, we finished fourth as the mancs did the double over us (FA Cup, Cantona, need I say more).

Just like when Houllier started to lose the plot after a great first three seasons (real improvements & some pretty wonderful memories - eg 2001 treble), I was also told to fooking shut up by the "Who Let The Reds Out" brigade.

Yes, I'm a pessimistic whinger but we have to be vigilant to gaffers who may be making some seriously bad fooking decisions. It just fooking happens when you're under such scrutiny & pressure. Just ask Martin Jol & Juan Ramos - both are under fooking pressure as spurs & sevilla started campaigns badly despite previous accomplishments.

PS: Arsene has similarly rotated his squad but you don't hear any complaints coz the football is easy on the fooking eye & they are unbeaten!

PSS: Chelsea's great comeback v Valencia - their turning point?

pss: Let's hope UEFA fooking ban the diving cheat that is Dida!!! Fooking bastard is a stain on the game with his actions this morning.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

tagged . . .

Tagged by senorita

senorita's Q: you have been speeding when the Patrol car pull you over to give you a speeding ticket. you know that you cannot have another ticket under your name or your merit points will be 0 and you can never drive again. what will you say/do to convince the officer to not give you a ticket? (no corruption allowed and pls be creative).

the instruction: I'll tag you a question which you'll answer on your blog, and then you create your own question and tag it on to someone else.

My A: Happened to me once, not speeding but was fooking pissed drunk & I nearly swerved into a patrol car behind me! Of course, was stopped & threatened with arrest. Told em I was entertaining police officers at me pub & they could call said officer to confirm. Thank goodness I had a cop friend who duly backed up me story. Phew . . .

If it was speeding as per original question; I'd just give em me licence & put me hands up & say, "yup, I was wrong, I deserve a summons". This usually leads to a warning rather than an actual ticket.

Me Q fer anyone interested in answering: How much abuse will you tolerate from yer boss before telling that him/her to fooking fook off; or will you just swallow it to keep yer job?

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Don't Marry Her - The Beautiful South

Soundtrack fer the drive to work Pt1

The daily journey to me new work place is surprisingly jam (& thus stress) free & I actually look forward to the 40km journey. With the wide open highways fer me to flex the Monster's muscles; I'm able to indulge in a bit of tarmac action on the nicely undulating (& slightly winding) stretches of road (especially in the evening when I can pop the hood down!).

These last two days, the drive has been soundtracked by one of the great unsung musical heroes of our times - The Beautiful South & their magnificent opus "Blue Is The Colour". This record is just one that will somehow put you in a fooking fantastic mood, even if it was raining cats & dogs like it was on Monday morning. Make no mistake, this is pure finger-tapping, whistle-blowing & singalong-type of an album. Fooking magic!

This Hull (Bernard's hometown) outfit was famous fer its sandpaper dry wit which they married to some seriously wonderful melodies. Even the most morose & depressing lyrics would sound positively bouncy within their self-depreciating genius tunes.

Just a shame that this incredibly gifted band's success was largely limited to the UK. Why great music like this never seem to translate into worldwide success is truly a fooking mystery to me.
Trust me, if you having a typically shit day, stick on the Beautiful South & watch the gloom lift. Fer yer enjoyment, here are two of their videos. Hope it brightens up yer day, it certainly has mine . . .

Song For Whoever - The Beautiful South

What a load of Tosh!

" The 'Special One' threw in the towel!" Yup, that's the scathing assessment of John Toshack on Jose's ignominious exit from the Bridge. Writing in his regular column in Spain's best selling sports daily, Marca, Toshack derides the Portuguese coach as a bit of a pooftah.
"When the going gets tough, the tough get going and Mourinho has disappointed me enormously."

"Jose was very brave in front of the cameras when he had the best goalkeeper in the world between the posts and a backbone made up of Terry, Lampard and Drogba, the best in Europe. But without them he wasn't so brave when it came to preparing for games and getting decent results," Toshack opined.

Well said la Tosh! Some of you may be aware that I have been championing this great coach's cause to take over the hot seat at Anfield ever since Dalglish left. He turned down the chance then because he was already contracted to Real Sociedad & his integrity made me admire him even more. Of course, after the Souness/Evans/Houllier debacles. Toshack had already established a name with Real Madrid & when it was time to replace Houllier; Tosh was already in charge of Wales.

This former Anfield legend is a no-nonsense coach with an ability to handle big names & even bigger egos. Wonder what he makes of Rafa's current rotation system?

PS: I am not a Rafa hater but am just a bit disillusioned after he got his tactics spectacularly wrong at last season's European Cup final. Like I said before, if he insists on rotating, make sure the results are there. And please don't tell me to be fooking patient . . . have been waiting fer a league title since 1990!

PSS: May not neccesarily agree with Tosh here (as I think Jose was a damn fine coach & a entertaining orator) but well done fer not shying away from speaking yer mind!

PSSS: Speaking of Chelsea - well fooking done la, Blues fans, fer hurtling anti-Semitic abuse at Avram. Keep it up & that other Yahudi who has been bankrolling yer team might just decide to fook off as well!

Monday, October 1, 2007

From Russia with love

First day on me new job & curi curi posting on me blog! So far, so boring la. Having to don proper office attire sure feels weird after a decade of denim & rock t-shirts. People seem nice enuff & me lady colleagues have been at pains to point out that the Khazakstani female students are "daaaaaammmnnn hot & sexy"! Have yet to see any of these supposed foxes from the former USSR but will keep you guys posted on sightings.

What a week, eh, no more booze, gave up tobacco & now new job! Perhaps the time is ripe fer another tattoo to mark yet another chapter in the chronicles of Anfield Devotee . . .

PS: The nursing college promises to be a lot of fun . . . he he . . . only joking la wifey!