Wednesday, December 26, 2007

I'm OK!

To those of you who know our good friend Bernard Chong or read his blog (speak now, ah?) would know that his dad had been unwell fer some time now. Sadly, Chong Snr lost his battle against the dreaded Big C late this afternoon.

I meself have some pretty fond memories of Uncle Chong. His fave phrase was "I'm OK! That's my name OK Chong". He was a pretty happy-go-lucky-uncle who happily enjoyed his Peter Reds, fine booze & was always more than happy to oblige the crowd with a song or two. Nothing seemed to faze him; whether it was a stock market crash or a health scare, he took it all in stride.

And he was always quick to invite me (or anyone of else fer that matter) to join him fer a few drinks. When we were wee college brats he even handed us some cash with the specific order to "go enjoy yerselves"! Uncle Chong was one cool dude.

But me fave memory was when one nite I was dropping Bernard off after a few drinks. Bernard had forgotten his keys & was hoping his dad would be downstairs to let him in. But when we got to the house, Uncle Chong had also just forgotten his keys after a few drinks & the sight of the two redfaced Chongs drunkenly scaling their house gate is a memory that will stay with me forever.

As they say, when you are born, let it be you who is crying & everyone else smiling; when you die, let it be you who is smiling & everyone else is crying . . .

Uncle Chong, you will be sadly missed by all.

ps: Friends are welcome to share their fond memories of Uncle OK Chong here.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Weekly footie digest

Its the beginning of the hectic X'mas programme & we'll soon know if its a winter of discontent. Already 10 fooking points of the pace, it looks like another season of scrapping fer fourth fooking place. And this year it won't be as straightforward as previous campaigns with Man City, Pompey & the Blueshites looking decent bets on making it into the Champion's League.

Sorry, but let's face it, our title hopes were over once we fooking drew with Birmingham & Spurs at home; nevermind other results. The Arse & Scum have built up too big a gap fer us to chase down whilst Chelsea has been resoundingly solid & should hold onto third spot. Truth hurts, I know.

As fer the European Cup, what can I say, like last year we drew the one team everyone wanted to avoid. But Inter & Zlatan in particular are on fire & will be just too much fer us especially having to play the 2nd leg away. So no league cup, no European Cup & definitely no Premiership title means Rafa's tenure is more than likely to end up like Jose's tenure at CSKA London . . .

Sad but true. Well, a quick round up of weekend action:

Liverpool 4 v Pompey 1
Pompey were dreadful even though our Djimi "Bambi Legs" Traore wasn't in the squad. We were ok but Pompey were shite. Fer a team that has held us to two scoreless draws since August, they never looked like containing Benayoun nevermind Torres. Good to have a decent result after three domestic reversals in a fooking row.

Arsenal 2 v Spurs 1
What can I say? Keane bangs one against the bar from 5 yards out & missing a pen as well. Wha tha fook? Fer the sake of me Spurs friends sanity, me sincerely hope you lot can beat their under-15 side in the League Cup semis.

Scum 2 v Blueshites 1
This is getting too predictable. Everton play with great gusto only to be undone by one moment of madness. Don't believe me? Two season ago, Yobo "back passes" ball to Rooney fer winner. Last season, Keeper inexplicable fumble & Neville own goal sparked scum revival in a game Blushites were leading 2-0 & in complete control. Dodgy? You fooking bet . . .

Newcastle 2 v Derby 2
If we are not careful, we could well end up like the laughing stock that is the Toon. To think some M'sians were interested in buying this club. Gila ka?

Blackburn 0 v Chelsea 1
Normal service has resumed. Sexy football? Yeah right, more like androgynous humping more like it.

We'll see on Boxing Day whether we are to remain a Top Four team or our slide into mid-table anonymity (ala Souness reign) begins here. Until then, here's wishing all of you a very Merry Xmas & Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Blonde on Blonde

Let me just categorically state that I happen to think all me departmental colleagues fall under the "intelligent" & "educated" categories. But somehow they too are prone to a blonde moment or three . . .


1) Miss Siew Pau has been planning to get inked. So she asks me this gem of a question - "Bala, tattoos don't bleed do they?" (!!!)

2) Me manager (let's call her by her initials) AAS is looking to change her wheels & a certain Alfa Romeo has caught her eye. So I suggested she also check out the Fiat. Her response, "Don't want lar all this Taiwanese cars." (!!!!)

And last but not least, this absolutely priceless moment;

3) I still use an old fashioned tape recorder fer interviews. So when I had done one such interview, I passed Miss Siew Pau the cassette to transcribe contents onto website. She looked at it in a puzzled manner & asked, "How to transfer data ah this one?" (!!!!!)

Fooking hell, on all occasions, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry . . .

ps: Header is title of Bob Dylan's (arguably) greatest piece of work. All homes should have one!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Welcome to Puchong!

Here's a little something to lighten up the mood. This salon was spotted in the new neighbourhood of Bandar Putri Puchong's commercial area. Me & wifey did a double take when we first saw it & wondered what sort of dubious "services" were being offered in this establishment. And who says Puchong is the fooking boondocks with fook all entertainment eh?

If any of you have been there, please feel free to share yer experiences here. Those of you who would like to check it out, well . . . he he

ps: pix courtesy of the Nanyang Siew Pau.

pps: Believe me, this is fer real, no fooking digital tricks here.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Sorry, I'm Indian

"This a betrayal of our country. Was there ethnic cleansing? There was nothing about wiping out the Indians in the country." - PM

"If I have to sign (ISA detention orders), I will do so without feeling guilty or sad." - PM

As expected, that wonderful three-lettered piece of legislation has finally made a return to the front pages. The HINDRAF leaders/organisers were sent off fer a holiday in Kamunting last nite after rumours of a second (& bigger) rally was being planned. No fooking surprise that the govt would go down this route.

"Racial hatred", "sedition", "national security" - all the usual reasons were wheeled out to justify the govt's use of this piece of legislation. But like I said, this was to be expected. What is of a greater concern is how law-abiding citizens are also affected.

This is what our good friend Premo had to endure on Wed nite as he drove into KL city centre fer an appointment. The place was utter chaos not because of street demos but due to numerous police road blocks. Premo was stopped & immediately questioned as to his involvement with Hindraf. On what basis? Coz he is Indian. Despite his protestations, he was hauled off to the utterly unpleasant confines of the Dang Wangi station. He was among 15 others who were being held on "suspicion of being linked to Hindraf".

After a couple of hours of being subject to all sorts of racial slurs (Premo can't even bring himself to repeat most what was said such was his disgust),he was let go with zero fooking explanation. This episode literally means Indians cannot freely go where they want in their own country of birth. How is this reflective of a democractic country?

This goes beyond racial profiling. It is sheer fooking RACIAL harassment. How can anyone justify being made to feel like a fooking criminal fer the colour of their skin? Think bout it fer a moment, a law-abiding citizen of this country is hauled off simply fer being Indian.

Fer those who think this is a minor inconvenience fer the greater "good & safety of the rakyat", will see if you feel the same if it was yer arse being dragged into custody. And believe me, it is a unnerving experience to be in when you know the police can do whatever the fook they want (& get away with it!). Premo's story is not an isolated incident. Neither will it be the last.

Yes, Malaysia Indians have not been exterminated like the Bosnians in the Balkan states. But as Premo's experience highlights, our rights are constantly being trampled upon & treated like fooking no-class criminals. Malaysia - a civil society? Fook off!

As fer the police behaving like Ku Klux Klan members, anyone who knows the inner workings of the police force will tell you this is nothing new & if you are of an ethnic minority in their custody, things will be very fooked up (fer you, that is).

Do you think this is a small price to pay? Or are you intelligent enough to realise certain fundamental human rights are sacred? I leave it to yer better judgement to decide & to cast yer decision at the upcoming polls . . .

ps: Please feel free to comment or share any similar experiences you may have had . . .

pps: Please sign online petition at to demand the release of the Hindraf leaders & rally organisers. Urgent (but peaceful) action is required!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Bedtime fer democracy

Jeff Ooi
Called in fer questioning by police. Screenshots blog down.

Leaders re-arrested & charged fer sedition.

Bar Council
Members arrested fer participating in walk without permit.

Bersih reps stopped from presenting memorandum to MPs.

The list of recent debacles & fiasco in this "democratic" country of ours goes on & fooking on. And the list above is just fer the last few fooking days! But yet most Malaysians encountered are still nonchalant & non-partisan on the many issues that plague us. "I'm not into politics" is a common excuse given by many. Another is the usual "We are ok, we are not as bad as Thailand or Pakistan".

With regards to the former, the erosion of basic democratic rights such as the freedom to express oneself & to gather peacefully are NOT political issues. Whether you agree or disagree with the likes of Mr Ooi or even Hindraf does not detract from the simple fact that they have a right to voice their opinions. THESE ARE YOUR FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS AS A CITIZEN IN A DEMOCRATIC NATION.

As fer the second statement, are we really going to wait till it is too fooking late before we do shit? A coup perhaps? Even then am sure many M'sians will feel it is just politics & does NOT concern them. As long as can cari makan, ok lar . . .

Am not asking people to throw down their tools & start a riot (or even march fer that matter). Just simply register themselves to vote. That's all. A surge in registration at the post office will be enough to send a shiver down the BN's spine.

And, of course, care enough to inform themselves of what is going on in this country of ours . . .

ps: Header is the title of an album by legendary hardcore punk dissidents Dead Kennedy's.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Of Rain & Open Air Gigs . . .

RE: My Chemical Romance, Live at Stadium Merdeka, 9 Dec 2007

First off, let me get a few complaints off me fooking chest. Why did the organisers (Celcom & Galaxy) feel that it was ok to keep fans locked out of the stadium while the support acts had already started. It was not only fooked up but courting danger as an impatient & restless crowd surged & pushed to get in. In fact by the time most people got in, the support act were done & dusted. No big shit fer me but most fans felt fleeced. I was just plain annoyed with the shoddy fooking treatment.

Secondly, fer an act that appeals to the teen market, shouldn't have the tickets been a bit more reasonably priced? RM103 was the cheapest & was a bit steep in me opinion, thus pricing out a huge segment of youngsters. A 50% reduction to say, RM55 would have seen twice the number turn out fer band currently riding high on the success of third LP The Black Parade.
Thirdly, why have an open air gig fer around 10,000 punters during the rainy season when the infinitely more appropriate & "intimate" venue of Stadium Negara is available?

And yes, apart from a few accompanying parents, I was the quite possibly the oldest geezer at last nite's My Chemical Romance gig. (This was further highlighted by the fact that all the souvenir T-shirt stalls only carried the anorexic teen sizes of 'S' & 'XS'.)
But that didn't deter me from enjoying meself. In fact, it was great being able to feed off the youthful energy of the crowd. Though MCR's brand of MTV-friendly pooonk-lite anthems aren't quite me cup of todi; there's still no more thrilling sensation than to hear several thousand people belt out a chorus in unison. Seasoned gig-goers will know precisely what I mean.

Well, MCR belted out all them hits such as Mama, Famous Last Words, I Don't Love You and the title track. The eager & eye-linered crowd bounced, sang & generally ate up MCR's none-too-original stage antics which included the ultra-rebellious act of using words such as "effing", "friggin" & "f.u.c.k" as well as the ubiquitous "Kuala Lumpur, are you ready to rock?".

Did I mention it was pissing down last nite? The rain (eeriely) started and stopped precisely as when MCR took/left the stage! Bet you the organisers tried to stinge & decided against a pawang hujan. However, the rain only added to the Woodstock-atmospherics. Wifey & meself kept warm with a hip-flask of Suvvern Comfort which gave proceedings a nice buzz.

Somewhat surprising was the fact that halfway thru, the guitarist decides to invoke the spirit of Stevie Ray Vaughn as he launched into an extended guitar solo. Thought these new bands didn't belive in the rock-dinosaur traditions?!? Still he managed to keep it down to just the right duration & wasn't too flashy; erring on the right side of caution.

MCR played fer just over an hour & I was shocked there was no encore, especially with a crowd consisting of dedicated fans. In fact, even more shocking was the fact that the fans just buggered off without demanding fer more. S'ppose both band & fans alike have a few things to learn regarding concert etiquette.

But the best thing fer me was seeing me wifey thoroughly enjoying herself & the huge fooking grin on her face afterwards. That alone was worth the price of admission . . . (I know, I know, am a fooking sweet romantic).

ps: Miss Siew Pau (below) cried like a fooking teenybopper when MCR sang Cancer. Quite unbecoming fer a "over-the-hill" 26-year old, don't you think?

pps; I urge all those who were at yesterday's gig to post yer grievances at (0r call 03-2282 2020) or bombard Celcom with yer complaints.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Pimps R Us

He he . . . can't fooking help this. Me colleague (pix above) is an impish, young ciku who is a bit of a camera whore. Her computer is fooking full of shots of herself in various poses and yet she "pretends" to be some fooking "shy and demure" small-town gal.

Well, me thinks deep down she's a frustrated model (yup, she's only 155cm tall) & is a closet attention deficit syndrome sufferer! But seriously, just fer yer info, she's young, free & single. So if anyone would like further details, please feel free to fooking BRIBE me. Preferred currency would be BEER or LIQUOR.

I feel like a real Mack Daddy Pimp, dude! He he, got them pimped out wheels & now I just need a fedora hat & a swanky cane fer that Snoop Dogg Fab Pimpin' vibe.

PS: Please deposit bribes in comments box . . .

PPS: She makes damn fooking fab Siew Pau! So all you pandi lovers out there, start ordering them roses & sharpening them chat up lines.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Laughter the best medicine

Am quite a fan of Scott Adam's Dilbert comic strip. The observations on cubicle-dwelling office characters are almost always fooking spot-on. Plus I love the strip's dry sarcastic wit. So I was well chuffed when I came across a DVD box-set of the animated series (which ran on CNBC) at me neighbourhood pirated-DVD emporium recently. Who says Puchong is the boondocks, eh?!?

Wifey & meself couldn't contain our glee when we watched the first couple of episodes. Adam really captures the zeitgeist of life in a large, faceless organisation run by idiotic morons disguised as upper management. And like I said, you'll definitely see people you know from yer office portrayed in the cartoon's endless list of idiosyncratic characters.

If you do come across this box set in yer local DVD mart, do get it as it is fooking hilarious! Also included a recent gem (print version) fer yer amusement. Hope you all have a nice day @ work.

PS: Sorry, sparsity of postings lately due to busy work schedule.

PSS: I only paid RM25 fer me 4 disc box set, so don't get fleeced or come down Puchong way!

Friday, November 30, 2007

Fooking Unbeliveable!

Absolutely fooking unbelievable this! Me colleagues showed me this fabulously-monikered person's business card & just couldn't resist sharing it with you guys. Just imagine him going up to somebody & saying, "Fook You, what's yer name?" Bet this poor bloke has had his share of black eyes & sore cheeks.

Let this be a warning to those who think that it is unimportant to grasp the finer (or should I say coarser) points of the English language.

This one betul-betul Fer Fook's Sake la, pecah perut.

On this lighter note, do enjoy yer weekend . . . and that goes fer you as well Mr Ng.

Monday, November 26, 2007

The Shame Of It All

Anger . . . dismay . . . disappointment . . . shock . . .disgust . . .hatred. I went thru (& still is) experiencing this whole gamut of emotions after the events of yesterday. This is mainly due to the fact that apart from the Sunday demonstration in KL where thousands of Indians took to the streets to protest the shoddy treatment of their lot by a govt they have supported fer 50 years; there was another ugly scene taking place.

This time it was at the sacred grounds of the Batu Caves temple in Selayang. Many had gathered there peacefully in an attempt to join up with their brethren in KL later. But as the pix above (from Jeff Ooi's Screenshots blog) show, the police had scant regard fer human rights or fer the sanctity of a place of worship.

As seen in the pix above, they herded the people into the temple grounds before locking them in. Then they opened fire with tear gas & chemical-laced water cannons. What next? Rubber bullets? Real ammo? I am absolutely sickened & outraged! What sort of fooked up society are we living in?

Of course, all these scenes were not covered by the local media. Instead, the demonstrators were portrayed as thugs & hooligans hell bent on causing chaos. The Malay papers showed pix of wounded policemen on the front page but showed none of the many pix (just a quick run thru the blog sites & Malaysia Kini will show) of demonstrators being beaten fooking senseless.

I am also dismayed because so many people are still in the dark. Take my colleagues fer instance. Here was a bunch of highly-educated & Internet-savvy people but were completely unawares of the main reasons fer the demonstration. All they had heard was Hindraf's stupid gimmick of suing the Brits fer trillions fer being the root cause of the Indian problem. They were shocked when I showed them the pix above. They could not believe that the police had acted like apartheid-era thugs & had shown no sensitivity to the fact that they were firing into temple grounds.

Furthermore, they were also unaware that the main reason fer this show of anger by Indians is the continued & systematic destruction of temples by the govt. I told them of how the FRU behaved like a frenzied mob in the recent demolitions of the Padang Jawa & Puchong Hartamas Hindu temples (& that these incidents were but few in a long line of similar cases).

How can we make any sort of in-roads when the masses are unaware of the facts? Many will still think it was just a bunch of rowdy & misguided Indians trying to stir shit. Imagine, countless kuils & tokongs have been smashed up & the rakyat are none the wiser.

What are we to do? I fear that it will probably require some seismic event to finally shake Malaysians out of this stupor. Peaceful demonstrations have not made any significant in-roads into the consciousness of the average Malaysian & therein lies the root of ALL our problems . . .

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Weekly Footie Digest

Here's me two cent's worth on some of the footie-related topics of late. Of course, I hope you will join in the discussion & add yer thoughts with a comment or two:

The England disaster
A couple of weeks ago, I predicted to a friend (Mr Anand of Celcom) that Israel would pull off a victory over Russia but England would still fook up against Croatia & crumble under the heavy expectation of a nation starved of success. I was fooking spot on. (* me gloating *)

Although I'm no England fan & now had some time to digest the results, I find it absolutely mind-fooking-boggling that this squad has failed to qualify fer Euro 2008. Yes, they may have been slightly over-hyped but fooking hell, just look at the names - Rooney, Lampard, Gerrard et al are top-flight players who have seen plenty of European action. Fooking inexcusable, innit?

Is this debacle solely down to a hapless manager? Or is the culture of the premiership prima donna taking its toll on the national team? Injuries? Too many foreigners (as suggested by our own Stevie G) in premiership halting local talent?

I am at a total loss to explain why England are so fooking crap. Look forward to reading yer verdicts (& who you think will get the manager's job), especially those who support Ingerland. . .

Scottish heartbreak
Now, this match between the Scots v Italy I actually stayed up fer. Have always had a soft spot fer the Scots on account of their contribution to LFC (King Kenny, Hansen, Souey, Gary Mac et al). The Tartan Boys had done well to get this far but ultimately were robbed of qualification by a refereeing blunder. The Italian winner was scored off a wrongly awarded free kick. It was sickening as it was the Italian who barged into the Scot (just like Chelsea getting the spot kick at Anfield earlier this season).

When the fook is FIFA gonna wake up & introduce video replays. I fer one am sick & fooking tired of our game being ruined by shite (or worse, dirty) refs!!!

Completely Out of Toon
Yes, we should have equalled the Everton scoreline but fer the unbelievable misses by Torres. Just not his day. We played well considering the disquieting effect that Rafa is at odds with the Yanks may have had on the dressing room. Hope this can be resolved though his record suggests otherwise. At Valencia, he famously threw a tantrum or two when the board rejected his budget recommendations & promptly fooked off. Am a bit pissed off at both parties fer airing our dirty laundry. Fooking sort it out, pronto!

But we shouldn't complain. Wanna know what a really bad season is - ask them Magpie fans. Almost four decades without a trophy of any fooking description & a succession of managers who don't seem quite up to the task of turning around the fortunes of a "massive" club. Looks like Fat Sam is already regretting leaving Bolton & with his Newcastle playing like shite, chances of him being offered the Ingerland job are pretty fooking slim.

Bolt On United!
Well fooking done la, Le Sulk! And kudos to Ivan "Alleycats" Campo fer keeping the free-scoring Utd strike force at bay. We need more results like this if we are to keep in touch with the leading pack.

Blueshites run riot
Looks like Roy "Fooking thug" Keane's days as Sunderland gaffer are numbered after a letting in seven against the Blueshites. Hate the sight of him, so he can get fooking stuffed fer all I care . . .

Still there & not going away
Yup, Pompey & that other team from Manchester are still in the upper echelons of the table courtesy of some splendid football & a decent run of results. Canna say they don't deserve it . . .

Gooners on a roll
Wigan toughed it out fer over 80 mins but the firepower was just too much. Expected . . .sigh

ps: Me thinks Fabio Cappello will get the Ingerland job. They will be fooking boring but will probably win 2010 World Cup with him in charge. You heard it here first!

pss: Please do take part in the poll below on who you think is the worst Eng gaffer ever!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Only the good die young

Some time back I posted a cover version of Joy Division's Love Will Tear Us Apart (By Sussana & The Magical Orchestra). That bit of blogging not only elicited great response but also alerted me to the movie bout the late Ian Curtis (lead vocals & tortured soul). (Sorry la, I'm a bit out of touch & thanx Wei Yin fer the heads up on the movie news & have you seen it?)

Weirdly enough, a couple of days after that post Joy Division was featured on BBCE's Sound of The 70s with an absolutely blistering rendition of Transmission. It was fooking intense. (Vid of that performance is below - please, please do take the time to watch it.)

That was enough fer me to dust down me 4-disc box set Heart & Soul featuring the band's entire output plus rarities, live recordings as well as demo versions (if you see it in a shop, just fooking buy it - its well worth the money!). As I slowly got reacquainted with this classic band, I also did a bit of research regarding the movie.

Well, what do you know, the film is world-renowned rock photographer Anton Corbijn's directorial debut. Fer those who don't recognise the name, this Dutch pixman's work has graced thousands of album & magazine covers, not least the iconic b&w shots on U2's Joshua Tree opus. Joy Division happened to be one of his fave bands & he left his native Holland to seek out this Mancunian outfit. The beautiful picture above is considered the defining image of the band. Creepily, only Ian turns to face Anton as he snaps & weeks later, he was dead . . . and the rest went on to form New Order.

Hence, this film has been a on-going project fer Corbijn as he seeks to bring closure to an important chapter in his life as well as to give Ian a fitting tribute to his short & troubled life. The film, Control, was chosen to open this year's Cannes festival.

Have included an interview/footage vid fer yer viewing pleasure below. Please do check it out & if anyone sees this movie at yer local DVD mart, please give me a holler.

To Ian - Only the good die young . . .

Sobriety fooking sucks!

Wow. Have made it thru me birthday without a single drop of alcohol. Fook, that was weird. Before some of you reading this start concluding that me is some sort of raging kudikaran, let me please give you a bit of background.

Yes, I do like to have a tipple (beer or whiskey . . . or both!). Me drinking habit was already quite considerable but was exacerbated when I started me own pub/restaurant in Feb 1999. And boy, the birthday parties were the stuff of legend. Well, I am told anyways as me is usually passed out in some corner by 10pm with all the poison shoved down me fooking throat by "well wishers"!

As some of you will know I sold (the much missed) Broadwalk bout a year ago due to health reasons (plus the stress of running a F n B outlet was enormous). So this is the first year in a fooking long time where I did not celebrate me b'day with loads of friends at the pub . . . no loud live rock band . . . no fooking merry making . . . no waking up at 7am on the floor of me own pub thinking what the fook happened & why am I half naked . . . sigh, I fooking miss those days.

This year, it was off to temple fer prayers in the am, work & came home fer dinner with wifey, lites out by 930pm. Talk bout complete reversal of lifestyle. Doc's strict orders are - No more boozing, tobacco & generally eating loads of unhealthy (but delicious) foods fer me (anyone remember Broadwalk's signature dishes - Lamb Shank Curry? Double Lamb Burger with Everything on it? Claypot Lamb Stew? . . . Yes, I am quite fond of lamb, how did you fooking guess?).
And its not just me own b'day parties I miss. All the regular patrons would celebrate their milestones at Broadwalk & it was always a fooking blast. Although running the place was stressful as fook & took its toll on me health, I cherish the many, many fond memories I have of the place (eg LFC's treble finale v Deportivo Alaves). And more importantly, it also allowed me to meet plenty of interesting people & make some genuine friends (you guys know who you are!). It was nice being a publican of "a place where everyone really knew yer name".

Sorry, just reminiscing & getting a bit sentimental. But those of you who were at Broadwalk's swansong party would have seen how much the place (& you guys) meant to me. I was in fooking tears & the next thing I know was waking up at 10am on the fooking floor of me own pub (I am consistent, you'll have to give me that)! But that was fer the last time & here I am now leading a 9-to-fooking-5 existence with the party lifestyle all but a distant memory . . . sigh.
Was fooking awesome while it lasted, eh? To all those who made Broadwalk such a wonderful hangout, TQ from the bottom of me overworked liver! I duly invite you guys to post yer fave memory of Broadwalk here.

And, oh yeah, sobriety fooking sucks!

PS: Pix is of some regulars & meself posing with Liverpool legend Phil Neal at Broadwalk shortly before I sold the place. Another great memory & one fer the album!

PSS: Yes ladies, bloke in yellow jersey is a CLEO Bachelor of the Year candidate (2002) & his name is Becky aka Mark "Eye Of The Tiger" Lee.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Laughter fer yer Monday Blues . . .

I fooking hate Mondays. The pile up of work & the general fooking grey vibe of Mondays generally don't go down well with me unless a) Liverpool have won over the weekend or b) Tues is a public holiday. Its none of the above so I'm in a less than charitable mood.

Am sure loads of you share me grumpy start-of-a-work-week sentiments, so I decided to post this very short vid fer a bit of light relief. Do watch it as its only 26 secs long & is fooking hilarious.

Hope you people have a good laugh & it makes yer Monday a wee bit more bearable. Cheers!

PS: Thanx Wei Yin fer this. Good one!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Religious Duty or Bigotry?

This article was sent to me by me very internet savvy mum-in-law. This is a touchy issue & again I would like to stress that this posting is NOT meant to offend any sensitivites but rather encourage appropriate debate on a subject that is very likely to affect us here soon.

Please do leave a comment.

From The Sunday Times
October 7, 2007
Muslim medical students get picky
Daniel Foggo and Abul Taher

Some Muslim medical students are refusing to attend lectures or answer exam questions on alcohol-related or sexually transmitted diseases because they claim it offends their religious beliefs.
Some trainee doctors say learning to treat the diseases conflicts with their faith, which states that Muslims should not drink alcohol and rejects sexual promiscuity.
A small number of Muslim medical students have even refused to treat patients of the opposite sex. One male student was prepared to fail his final exams rather than carry out a basic examination of a female patient.
The religious objections by students have been confirmed by the British Medical Association (BMA) and General Medical Council (GMC), which both stressed that they did not approve of such actions.

Fear of offending is killing our culture
It will intensify the debate sparked last week by the disclosure that Sainsbury’s is permitting Muslim checkout operators to refuse to handle customers’ alcohol purchases on religious grounds. It means other members of staff have to be called over to scan in wine and beer for them at the till.
Critics, including many Islamic scholars, see the concessions as a step too far, and say Muslims are reneging on their professional responsibilities.
This weekend, however, it emerged that Sainsbury’s is also allowing its Muslim pharmacists to refuse to sell the morning-after pill to customers. At a Sainsbury’s store in Nottingham, a pharmacist named Ahmed declined to provide the pill to a female reporter posing as a customer. A colleague explained to her that Ahmed did not sell the pill for “ethical reasons”. Boots also permits pharmacists to refuse to sell the pill on ethical grounds.

The BMA said it had received reports of Muslim students who did not want to learn anything about alcohol or the effects of overconsumption. “They are so opposed to the consumption of it they don’t want to learn anything about it,” said a spokesman.
The GMC said it had received requests for guidance over whether students could “omit parts of the medical curriculum and yet still be allowed to graduate”. Professor Peter Rubin, chairman of the GMC’s education committee, said: “Examples have included a refusal to see patients who are affected by diseases caused by alcohol or sexual activity, or a refusal to examine patients of a particular gender.”

He added that “prejudicing treatment on the grounds of patients’ gender or their responsibility for their condition would run counter to the most basic principles of ethical medical practice”.
Shazia Ovaisi, a GP in north London, said one of her male Muslim contemporaries at medical school failed to complete his training because he refused to examine a woman patient as part of his final exams.

“He was academically gifted, one of the best students, but gradually he got in with certain Islamic groups and started to become more radical,” said Ovaisi.
“You could see there was a change in his personality as time went by. During the final exams he was supposed to treat a female patient in hospital. He refused to do it, even though it would have been a very basic examination, nothing intrusive.
“But he refused and as a result he failed his exams. I was quite shocked and disappointed about it because I don’t see there being anything in our religion that prohibits us from examining male and female patients.”

Both the Muslim Council of Britain and Muslim Doctors and Dentist Association said they were aware of students opting out but did not support them.
Dr Abdul Majid Katme, of the Islamic Medical Association, said: “To learn about alcohol, to learn about sexually transmitted disease, to learn about abortion, it gives us more evidence to campaign against it. There is a difference between learning and practising.
“It is obligatory for Muslim doctors and students to learn about everything. The prophet said, ‘Learn about witchcraft, but don’t practise it’.”

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The Naked Truth

Spotted in today's paper was this somewhat amusing report:

Sydney: Australian Prime Minister John Howard expressed surprise yesterday after a magazine poll showed around one in six of its readers want to see him naked. The survey of 1,200 people for Zoo magazine showed 16% wanted to see him with nothing on, although he trailed opposition leader Kevin Rudd, who had 34% wanting a full frontal glimpse.
"I'm amazed it wasn't zero,"Howard told national television. Zoo editor Paul Merill said: "No one wants a prime minister who doesn't look good naked."

Hmmmmm . . . can you just fer a second imagine applying the Zoo editor's logic to our local scenario? A stark naked Badawi? . . . Najib? . . . Rafidah?!? . . . (I can just hear the anguished screams & feel the cringes out here in cyberspace)

Which public figure would you like to see do the full monty? Please leave yer comments here!

PS: Am just helping to spread the word - am told that there will be an interesting reportage on Al Jazeera (Astro ch 513) at 1030 pm Thurs (15 Nov) regarding the recent Bersih march. Do tune in.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Revolution song!

In this troubled times, no music is more appropriate than the rebel soul himself - Bob Marley. Trenctown Rock, Burnin & Lootin, Small Axe . . . the list goes on. But the ultimate song of defiance fer the fooking ages has got to be Get Up, Stand Up.

Those not familiar with his work could do worse than to heed his words when he sings,"you can fool some people some times but you can't fool all the people all of the time, GET UP,STAND UP, STAND UP FER YER RIGHTS!" (I got fooking goosebumps watching the vid above, just absofookinglutely awesome.)

I remember a friend once said that "Chinamen just don't get Bob Marley & reggae". Perhaps therein lies the root of our problem. Just too many Ching Chong Chinamen are living a reggae & Bob Marley free existence. Just too enamoured with their own money-making-don't-rocka-the-boat-ways to heed the prophetic words of The Wailers & to vote the fooking BN out (or at least have the balls to deny them a 2/3 majority).

Sigh, if it were only that simple. But do enjoy the tune & hope it inspires you to GET UP & STAND UP FER YER RIGHTS!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

One fer one

Fooking incredible! According to the Inspector General of Police Tan Sri Musa Hassan, only 4,000 demonstrators turned up fer the march in KL yesterday. City Police Chief deputy comm Datuk Zulhasnan Najib Baharuddin was also quoted as saying 4,000 police officers were deployed to keep the public safe!!! Fooking hell, one cop fer one demonstrator!?!
As Phil Anselmo once screamed,"(What) a vulgar display of power!".

In case you don't know, tens of thousands of peaceful demonstrators (numbers closer to 60,000) had turned up to march from KL's Merdeka Square to the Palace to present to the Agong a memorandum demanding a clean & fair elections.

If you had watched Al-Jazeera, it would have shown you that they were definitely more than 4,000 people & the reporter, Hamish Macdonald, was among those attacked by the FRU/police with tear gas & water cannons. He said, "There was no provocation & up until the police started firing, it was a peaceful demonstration." Watch vid (link below) fer evidence, ok. This is the highly-respected Al Jazeera & not the "imperialist media of CNN & BBC". I wonder how long before Al Jazeera is asked to fooking pack up & get lost from its plush KLCC offices. The govt must be really regretting wooing this broadcaster into setting up shop here.

Anybody casually glancing thru the national dailies would be none the wiser as to what had happened. The Star buried the story on pg8 & had no pix save fer one showing the jam leading into the city. What a beacon of journalistic integrity. (I have since cancelled me subscription to this fooking wonderful publication).

Yes, I was unable to join me fellow Malaysians in the march due to poor health but I implore you to keep spreading the word. The huge crowd yesterday showed enough Malaysians care about what is going on. The show of police muscle & orchestrated attack on various blogs & online services (such as Malaysia Today & Malaysia Kini) by nefarious agents indicate that the govt is fooking nervous & hell bent on silencing us. Democracy is our RIGHT, NOT a privilge to be handed out as & when it suits the powers that be.

Le us all do something before this beloved country of ours sink further into this mire of corruption, racism & despotism. If you haven't already, please go to yer nearest post office & register to VOTE!

PS: Click here fer Al Jazeera's reportage :

Friday, November 9, 2007

Fer Mutton Lovers PtI (open house by proxy)

Since its Diwali & me is unable to have an open house this year due to me health situation; I'd like to share with you a simple recipe fer the all time festive fave - Kari Kambing! Its not as difficult as some of you might think though its a little time consuming. But once ready & you are digging in, it'll be worth the fooking effort. Nothing like a home cooked mutton curry fer that authentic Diwali vibe.


1) 2kg of mutton cubes (feeds 6-7 pax)

2) 5 large red onions

3) 2 whole bulbs of garlic

4) 4 carrots

5) 4 potatoes

6) 1 bunch of coriander leaves

7) 4 green chilies

8) 3in piece of ginger

9) 2 tomatoes

10)Ghee!!! (fooking unhealthy but taste so much fooking nicer than just plain oil)

11) Spices - 2 pc cinnamon stick, 10 cardamon seeds, 10 cloves, 5 star aniseed, 1 tspspoon jintan putih, 1 tspspoon black pepper (freshly crushed), 1 bunch curry leaves

12) powder blend - 4 tbsp chili, 1tbsp turmeric, 2 tbsp coriander, 2 tbsp curry, 1 tbsp jintan putih

Get yer butcher to cut the mutton trunk into small bite-sized cubes & remove as much fat as possible from the pieces. Wash & drain. Rinse coriander leaves & chop the leaves from the stem & root but do not discard the latter.

Place mutton in a large pot filled with water & bring to boil, then allow to simmer. Into the water, add one onion chopped into quarters. Crush half the (peeled) ginger & garlic in pestle & mortar & throw into broth. Also chuck in the coriander stems & roots (lightly crushed as well) as these impart great flavour & aroma to the curry. Also throw in half the required spices into the boiling water (only the cinnamon, cloves, cardamons & star aniseed). Add salt to taste. Leave to simmer gently fer about an hour and a half or till mutton is tender.
Once the mutton is tender, remove from the water but do NOT throw away the stock as it will be used later in the curry.

Heat about four tablespoons of ghee into a wok & begin to fry the chopped onion/garlic/ ginger. After a couple of minutes, add yer remaining spices as well as the curry leaves. Fry till fragrant. Meanwhile mix all yer powders in a bowl & add a pinch of salt before adding water to make a paste. Add this paste into the wok & fry on medium heat till fragrant (you may want to add some ghee to avoid paste from burning as well as to clog up yer arteries!). Then add the mutton cubes.
Once the paste is releasing its aroma & oil begins to separate, throw in yer (peeled & cubed) potatoes & carrots & fry fer a couple more minutes. Also introduce the quatered tomatoes at this point. You can then add the earlier boiling stock (with all its spices, onions, garlic, ginger & now full-on mutton flavour!) to the mix. Do not use all of yer stock to avoid making the gravy watery. Use yer judgement as to how thick & spicy you want yer curry to be. (You can thicken yer gravy with some santan or evaporated milk if you wish.)
Bring to boil & simmer fer about 30 minutes or until gravy has reduced by half. Garnish with coriander leaves & chopped green chilies. Serve with putumayam, thosai, or rice (& of course, plenty of cold beer!). Fooking enjoy!
PS: Pix is from the net . . . not me own, sorry.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

A Diwali tale

A few days ago I noticed a new car service centre had opened fer business in me Taman. Since there's no other workshop within such close proximity I decided to get the contact number & quiz the foreman on his abilities.

(Conversation in Cantonese)
Anfield Devotee: Morning boss, are you able to service a mazda mx5?
Ah Keong (boss): No problem one la.
AD: Sure ah, you can do? This car already very old, y'know.
Boss: No problem one la, just bring your car & we will do nice nice one la.
AD: What days are you closed?
Boss: Every day open one la! Even Sunday we work!
AD: (jokingly) So this Thursday you also working ah?
Boss: Why not? Why shouldn't we open?
AD: Er . . . its a public holiday.
Boss: (puzzled look) . . . What holiday? . . . Oh, you mean Indian people celebrating Thaipusam this Thurs right? Don't worry, we are open.
AD: (jaw gaping & shocked expression) No, its Deepavali.
Boss: Haiya, Thaipusam, Deepavali . . . isn't it the same thing.

I left wondering just how ignorant we are of each others traditions and cultures. We keep harping on 'Bangsa Malaysia' but yet blissfully unawares of the very basic traditions of each race. For example, me (former) Muslim staff at me old Bistro was puzzled as to why I did not consume beef when me other Indian friends did so. When I explained that they were Christians & not Hindus, they were still none the wiser. . .

This goes to show that our so-called "melting pot of cultures" is (like so many other things in this country) mere lip service. To be unaware of the significance of Deepavali is one thing but to mistake it fer another festival & assume they are all the same is another. Even most people of other races regard it as simply the "Indian New Year" which is a fallacy; that falls on another date & is not a public holiday.

Same goes fer all of us, I guess. How many of you can tell me the meaning of the Chinese Lantern festival or the meaning of certain Muslim holidays. We still haven't gotten to know each other well enough fer us to really be harping about a 'Bangsa Malaysia' & if the Chinese foreman above is any indication, we are a looooong way off (though I admire him fer his hardwork ethic).

On that note, I hope all Malaysians will make the effort to join their in the festivities of the various races - wholeheartedly & full of goodwill. Please let me take this opportunity to wish everyone a Happy Deepavali & a happy holidays.

PS: The correct term is Deepavali but the festival is also known as Diwali in various other parts of India as the word got shortened & corrupted in its travels.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Contemporary Chinese Art

Some of you may have already received this in yer email (how the Beijing Olympic Logo was created) but lest we forget from all the smirking & laughter, this does represent the horrible truth of modern day China. In spite of the incredible economic growth that threatens to dwarf even the American's; them bad old draconian commie habits die hard.
We have laughed at fooking silly Malaysians clutching at straws when they proclaim incredible pride at our recent sojourn into space. Similarly, I have heard many Chinese locals say how fab it is that China finally gets to host a global sporting event. "This will show the world the ability of the Chinese people", "This coming Olympics is an event for all Chinese people to be proud of"etc etc.
What they forget to mention is that the Chinese authorities are also murdering bastards who got away with Tianamen Square & thousands of other atrocities since. Its easy to turn a blind eye when everyone's busy counting the mullah eh . . .?
PS: TQ Kevo fer another gem.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Shutting down . . .

Fooking hell, there are most certainly days at work when I feel like the boy in the video above. After a year of freelance hell (just too many wankers out there waiting to shaft you), I am back in the grind but grateful fer the luxury of a fixed income. But my word, there's no escaping the fooking tedium & boredom at times.

Fer starters, me workplace has a very strict 'no smoking' rule which means there are no fag breaks to get the creative juices flowing. I know I am supposed to be off tobacco but a hit once in a while should do no harm. But its out of the question here (not even in the boys room. . . sigh).

As fer some idle chit chat bout me fave topic like sports to break the monotony is also out of the question as all me colleagues are of the female (& very not-into-sports) persuasion. Eg: Brought up the recent thrilling F1 finale over lunch & was met by a wall of blank stares. Imagine, they have never heard of Lewis Hamilton. I know many people do not watch or follow sports but certain names should register as they crop on the news, radio, papers & ,of course, online all the fooking time. I don't watch (or even understand) golf but I know who Tiger Woods is and have little or no interest in tennis but also know that Roger Federer is the closest thing the game has to a living deity. It was only when I mentioned that women consider Hamilton a bit of a crumpet that they started googling him. So NO sports-related topics in conversation at office to lighten the mood.

Yes, I know these are problems everyone else faces in their daily routine plus the tons of stress, wanker clients/bosses & have to tackle almighty fooking jams to commute to work. So far, I have not faced these problems (fingers crossed) & I hope I won't ever have to.

Fact remains though, its daaaaamn boooooring & kinda lonely as well without some tobacco & footie addicts to chew the fat with.

PS: Pay no heed, just a little venting after a less than eventful day at work. . . Am pretty fooking sure after this posting an avalanche of work will fall on me desk to keep me occupied!

Gerrard to the rescue again!

Fook, woke up only to notice whole neighbourhood was experiencing a blackout. So only just got to know result online. Capt Fantastic does it again! Though I am a bit perplexed as to why he & Carra (who must feel the strain already at this stage of the season) were included in the team, I am utterly delighted we have made it int the last eight of the League Cup.

Our 2-1 win at home over Cardiff means we also join Chelsae, Arsenal, Spurs as among the faves fer this much maligned tourney. Fook that, I'll take whatever silverware comes our way & I am secretly hoping fer a LFC v Spurs final pitting the two Spaniard gaffers against each other.

Other positive things to take from the game, a number of bit part players seem to be coming along nicely with Jack Hobbs putting in a firm display at the back. This might suggest he will soon replace Big Sami in the first team whilst Leiva & Babel reportedly had decent outings.

Its a crucial win at a crucial stage of the season. This Saturday's trip to Ewood Park is gonna be a real test of character & I hope (in particular the strikers) will put in a winning performance to get our season back on track. Three points will be crucial as either the mancs or the arse will be dropping points this weekend . . .

PS: Has anyone seen that lazy fooker Harry Fooking Kewell?!? Someone better tell him there ain't no Champion's league final this season fer him to make his usual guest appearance!

PSS: As usual, I welcome all Kopites (& some reasonable-minded non-Kopites) to share their views here. Cheers!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Mat Bulat's curse!

Once upon a fooking time under the previous administration, there was a fooking moron known to all & sundry as Mat Bulat. In fact, that was probably one of the kinder names attached to the stain on humanity legally known as Dato Mohd Rahmat.

If you ever wanted to hear the most inane & moronic statements, he was the go-to-guy. If you ever want to cringe in embarrassment, you just had to listen to him licking the Mighty Tun's arse clean in the Dewan or just about anywhere sound travels.

The fact that he held the important position of Minister of Information did NOT fooking help. It was he who slapped all sorts of "no kissing, no fondling, basically no fooking touching between the sexes on screen" rules fer us. He treated the media with disdain & his morale crusade included getting the band members of Search to cut their hair or face a fooking blanket ban over the airwaves as well as concerts. Man, did the sight of this retard make me blood fooking boil. Oh, how we Malaysians celebrated when he retreated from our political landscape. It was as though the long broken sewer pipe had been fixed & the air was fresh & clean fer once.

But our joy was short lived. After a brief hiatus, the curse of Mat Bulat is back to haunt us. This time in the form of Dato Seri Mohd Nazri Abdul Aziz - the de facto law minister & Minister in the PM's dept. He has been attacking our neurological senses with various well-timed bullshit bombs over the past few years.

One of the more recent & memorable "statements" was when he quipped that the whistle-blowers in the judge-fer-sale fiasco would be safe under Malaysia's "witness protection programme"!!! Ok, Dato Seri, we know you love the fooking movies but don't you even know that no such thing fooking exists given that you are the fooking law minister!?!

In case you missed his very latest gem, do read Tuesdays headlines. Sultan Azlan Shah was commenting on the many problems facing the judiciary & the Bar Council in these uncertain times. The learned ex-Lord President said,"Sadly, I must acknowledge there has been some disquiet about our judiciary over the past few years and in the more recent past.

"Nothing destroys more the confidence of the general public, or the business community, has in the judiciary than the belief that the judge was biased when he decided the case, or that the judge would not be independent where powerful individuals or corporations are the litigants before him. Judges in Malaysia must be ever mindful that they are appointed judges for ALL Malaysians. They must be sensitive to the feelings of all parties, irrespective of race, religion or creed, and be careful not to bring a predisposed mind to an issue before them that is capable of being misconstrued by the watching public or segments of them," he continued.

Wise words indeed from the Sultan of Perak who is very highly regarded in the legal fraternity.

Dato Seri Nazri who was also at the 14th Malaysian Law Conference where Sultan Azlan Shah's damning words reverberated with astounding alacrity, had this to say:
"We respect the opinions (he had no choice but to say that in deference to royalty). . . But what is the public? The public means a thousand people or a whole nation?"

Is it just me or can you also feel yer senses blacking out? I have a niggling suspicion that when faced with certain intelligentsia such as the legal & press fraternities, the govt has learned that the best weapon is to bamboozle us with a Moron of inverse Einstein proportions. Thus we will not be able to engage in fruitful dialogue nevermind any sort of debate, challenge or question over govt policy.

They know these groups have highly tuned bullshit detectors, so why try to outsmart them when they can fooking flood us with the stuff & muffle our dissenting voices under an avalanche of the brown stuff.

Just how much shit can you take, people . . .?

PS: Nazri was also heard commenting on the recent 'march for justice' by lawyers demanding a probe into the judge-fer-sale video controversy. He said only 2000-odd lawyers turned up when there are over 13,000 lawyers in the country. "These lawyers are just a minority," he quipped. Fooking hell!!!

PSS: Sultan Azlan Shah's background in law - In 1965, at the age of only thirty-seven years, Raja Azlan was elevated to the Bench of the High Court of Malaya being the youngest judge to be appointed in the Commonwealth. In 1973, he was made a Federal Court judge and six years later in 1979, Chief Justice of Malaya, an office which he held until his appointment as the youngest-ever Lord President of the Federal Court of Malaysia on 12 November 1982.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Dear wifey . . .

It is usually me who does the cooking in the house, so it should come as no surprise that the meals will revolve around (usually meaty) items like the Rum Bones recipe below. Very often me cooking skills will be met with a tirade of grumblings from dear wifey.

"Why must you cook so much meat?" . . . nag, nag . . . "This meal is so unbalanced & unhealthy?". . . nag, nag . . . "Can't you attempt more greens fer the sake of yer health?" etc etc.

You get the picture, rite. So after another long lecture, I kindly asked her to do the cooking fer a change. Besides, I would like to feel pampered once in a fooking while. So off she went to the market & to her credit she slaved over a hot stove fer three fooking hours.

The meal was fabulous. The menu? This is what me dear wifey considers a "healthy" meal:
1) Herbal chicken soup (ok, so far so good on the healthy diet part)
2) Deep fried pork ribs marinated in five spice powder, wine & eggs!
3) Pork Pongteh!! (fooking hell, is this oink lover's wet dream or what!?!)
4) And to round it all off, a tiny bowl of long beans stir fried with . . . wait fer it . . . siew yok (roast pork)!!!

Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed the meal but I have two pertinent questions:
1) Do any of you blokes out there also face the problems of a NAGGING wifey who is also a HYPOCRITE?
2) In light of me recent health issues, is it possible dear wifey is trying to subtly shuffle me off this mortal coil?

PS: Dear wifey, thanx fer a lovely meal although I can still feel the calories & the lard clogging up me arteries . . .

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Fer Pandi Lovers only PtII - Rum Bones

Would like to share with all budding amateur chefs out there one of me fave things to do on the weekend - RUM BONES! Inevitably, it involves the wonderful oink. Easy-peasy roast & fooking delicious. Trust me!

1) BBQ sauce (just buy la, no need to make yer own)
2) HP classic sauce
3) Worcester sauce
4) Bay leafs
5) Rum (lots of it - preferably Bacardi gold; you could also use Jack Daniels or Southern Comfort)
6) Olive oil (extra virgin if possible)
7) Homemade spice & pepper mix * (see below)
8) Pork ribs (cut whole rib into half & apportion three 'half' ribs fer an adult)
9) Honey (optional)
10) 1 large onion

Homemade Spice & Pepper Mix
1) 50gm paprika powder
2) 50gm cheyenne powder
3) 50gm nutmeg powder
4) Whole black pepper corns (about 40 seeds)
5) Cloves (about 30 seeds)
6) 7-8 sticks of cinnamon
7) Salt (about 2 tablespoons)
8) 5 whole bay leafs

Dry roast all spices in oven @ 180 degrees Celsius fer about 15-20 minutes or until fragrant. You could also use a wok but I find an oven easier to avoid burning. Place all the spices along with the powders & salt in a food processor & blend into a fine powder. Conversely you can use a pestle & mortar but the final product would not be as finely ground but this shouldn't matter too much as a marinade. Believe me, this process of making yer own spice & pepper mix is well worth it as it imbues a real flavour & aroma to yer chops. Plus this one blend should give you a whole jam jar's worth & you can use it for future BBQs & roasts.

Rum Bones -Method: (recipe measurements is based on preparation fer 2kg of meat or 8-10 'half ribs')
Do ask yer towkay babi fer the meatier portions of the ribs & chop each rib into half pieces. Wash & place ribs into a large container fer marinating. First add the homemade spice & pepper mix along with some additional salt (to taste). Rub into ribs & then add a large splash of olive oil, followed by generous lashings of RUM. Add about 5-7 tablespoons of Worcester sauce & mix well. Squeeze plenty of BBQ & HP sauces (& honey if you so wish) onto the ribs & make sure each rib is well covered in the marinade. Chop onion in half or quarters but leave skin on & place in with the ribs (plus the bay leafs as well). Cover & leave in fridge fer a few hours (preferably overnight).

Heat oven at 200 degrees Celsius & place ribs (& onion & bay leaf) onto a roasting tray (do add some olive oil onto tray to avoid ribs sticking onto it or better still use banana leaf as foil). Use remainder marinade 'juice' fer basting. Roast ribs fer 1 hour then turn the ribs over & roast at 250 degrees Celsius fer another 15 minutes to get it slightly charred on one side.

Serve as snack with some very cold beer or as main course with a salad/coleslaw/mashed potato. Enjoy & have a good weekend!!!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Viva la Rafalution?

Me thoughts on European Cup action this (& yesterday) morning:

Chelsea - Have lost their charismatic leader & most successful manager . . . ever; his replacement a unqualified nobody. Their talismanic 33-goal striker threatens to quit. Their capt & inspirational figure is out injured. This morning's score: Chelsea 2 v Shalke 0.

Arsenal - Start season without the great Thierry Henry. Not only was he their best player but perhaps one of the greatest of this generation. Fooking huge boots to fill or what? Their scoreline: Arsenal 7 v Slavia Prague 0

Scum: Started season badly with injuries & suspensions. Lost derby game. No out-&-out striker save injury-prone Saha. They travelled to Dynamo Kiev & won 4-2 (which makes it 12 goals in three games).

The "Mighty" Reds: Started season well but wobbled in Europe. Our campaign has begun to disintegrate at the usual Oct/Nov stretch. Against the weakest team in the group, Rafa proclaimed that "this is a game we cannot afford to lose." Lose we did (1-2) but even more damning is that we never looked like winning the tie. Uefa cup football anybody? . . . sigh

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I, Malaysian?

About 20 years ago, I recall a family friend telling us how he had spent a fortune buying land in India & was building some houses there. He said it was fer the future so that he and more importantly his children would have somewhere to go. Perplexed by what he meant, I asked "Uncle, why would you want to move from here to India?"

"In this country we are a minority. You just never know when the majority will insist that everyone become Abdullah," reasoned Paranoid Uncle. I thought what an illogical thing to say. "This is Malaysia - peaceful & harmonious with freedom of religion fer all," I thought to meself; the scenario Paranoid Uncle described would never happen . . . not here.

Forward two decades & it would appear Paranoid Uncle isn't too far off the mark. Please follow link below to see a short documentary claiming that that scenario has already happened.

Now, this short film (Malaysia - At The Crossroads - ) has been around fer quite some time. But the issues within remain hot topics as far as many Malaysians are concerned. If you are of a "sensitive"disposition or lack sufficient grey matter to hear out reasonably articulated views; do NOT watch it & please fooking piss off, you're in the wrong blog.

However, if you are concerned citizen of this nation, I urge you to view this short documentary. Fer those of you who still think Malaysia is paradise on earth (or in space?), please watch the vid & do think about the many questions it poses.

Fer starters, how can any Malaysian, especially non-bumis, NOT be angry after watching the vid? Those of you who say we are not being marginalised, please tell it to the grieving Hindu widow. As the film says, it was a show of power from the Muslim authorities to deny a national hero the proper last rites. This also proves it is incomprehensible that a non-Muslim could ever be viewed as a national hero in this land. And even our "astronaut" has been elevated to bringing pride to Muslims everywhere but lest we forget, all Malaysians had to fooking foot the massive bill. Go figure. I suppose serve all those stupid wankers who thought it a brilliant idea & believe me there are plenty!

Mob mentality rules here. Everything is an "insult to Islam". Article 11 meetings have been disrupted by the Mat "Osama is our hero" Jangguts. And their actions have been validated by our dear smiley, friendly, sleepy PM.

Listening to the mufti of Perak just fooking makes me blood boil as he openly says we risk "racial conflict" if we "disturb Islam". He goes on to contend that in this country the Chinese & the Indians "bully the Malays" as they are the rich & powerful in Malaysia. What fooking bollocks?!? What the fook is he talking about?!?

The unfortunate truth is too many Malaysians believe in the status quo while too many Malays actually believe we, the non-Bumis, are here to bully, colonise & enslave them! Even among the grumbling hordes in cyberspace I know of people have said they cannot be bothered to vote.

I said a long time ago during the previous administration's reign that the country will go down the toilet when someone else less powerful (& less intelligent) takes over from the Mighty Tun & fooking takes all the wrong/corrupt/chauvinistic practices as precedents set in fooking stone.

As fer all you teary-eyed nostalgists who wish the Mighty Tun was back in power, lest not forget, it was he who elevated the Syariah court to the position it is now. It is he who attempted to restrict the rights of non-Muslims to worship. It is he who fooking fooked up the fooking judiciary! It is he who put vanity projects & one-upsmanship as the yardstick to measure success (he builds twin fooking towers, current PM sends Dr Model into space). The list goes on . . .

Again, I stress although the language here might be a tad harsh, it is NO way meant to insult ANYONE'S religion. The comments are also NOT intended to be racist but merely reflective of the existing racist policies that have us living in fear. It is merely venting at the continuing marginalisation of people who have worked hard to make this country great & know of no other place as home . . .

PS: As usual all reasonably-minded Malaysians are invited to post their comments regarding the state of our beloved nation.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Lucky Strikes

Now I know a lot of Kopites will be celebrating the win over the blue nosed bastards & thinking we've turned the corner. Sorry, but me being the pessimistic supporter is still unconvinced that we are anywhere nearer to ending our league title drought.
Now, after the euphoria of winning an explosive derby, let's put things into perspective. The ref won it fer us. Yes, we deserved the two pens & they were red card offences. But wouldn't you say likewise regarding the two times Lescott was impeded in our area; especially the stoppage time incident when he was wrestled to the ground by our Carra. Kuyt was also lucky fer his off-the-ground & two-footed challenge.

As I've said before, if we don't like being robbed by refereeing decisions, we shouldn't expect to win because of em. The ref was fooking crap & their ilk is fast destroying the game we love. How long before a Seria A-type debacle stains the English game. Look at the number of high profile games where the ref has been the talking point instead of the footie - LFC v Chelsea, Man Utd v Chelsea & now the Merseyside derby.

As fer Rafa's tactics, can someone explain why he did nothing to stop the threat Lescott posed throughout the match? Why was it necessary fer us to fooking play our strikers so deep that they are part of the midfield? And why, oh why, does one take off yer captain when a derby is finely poised at 1-1?
Rafa said it was to have a player who could hold & pass the ball better ie the raw & untested Lucas Leiva. So take off Momo, not Stevie G who lives fer these occassions. Fooking hell, this is a derby game & you take off the one player who gives us a psychological edge (in the absence of Torres) over our opponents!?! As commentator (& ex-Blue Nose) Andy Gray remarked, David Moyes will be the happiest man at Goodison to see Gerrard off the field.

We fooking struggled even when faced with 10 men when we should be pummelling them. Instead it was Everton who seized the initiative. Fer a study in contrast, just look at how our rivals dispatched their opponents. Arsenal were well below par but still comfortably walked all over Bolton. The Mancs comprehensively dismantled Villa away even though they were a goal down.
Yes, it was a hard battle won & sometimes you need the rub of the green. But I have a strange feeling it will be the usual case of false dawns & one step forward, three steps backwards come the do-or-die mission v Besiktas & the gunner's visit next weekend.
Why? You do not win the English Premier League by having changed yer side 106 consecutive times . . .
PS: I sincerely hope I am wrong bout this, really I do. As usual I look forward to yer comments on this subject we all hold so dear to our hearts.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Important notices

1) Fer those of you who did not catch last nite's Sound of the 70s (Astro BBC ch731, Fri Midnite), you missed one helluva show. Showcasing the names & talents from 1977-1979, viewers were treated to performances by The Clash, Buzzcocks, The Damned, Siouxie & The Banshee, Joy Division & The Undertones. Fooking awesome! Please check yer guides to see if there is a repeat; if not next week's edition continues on the punk theme but going stateside with Blondie, The Ramones & (???) Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band.

2) Calling all Kopites. Please note that the rowdy, boisterous & fun independent Liverpool supporters club will be gathering at MBar (Phileo Damansara 1, Jln 16/11 - next to East-In hotel, PJ) fer tonite's Merseyside derby (koff 730pm). Be there early as there will be prizes & various other footie-related trivia to keep the early (Liver) birds entertained. Fer more details please log on to . (sorry, canna join you guys as me is on strict alcohol/tobacco ban).

3) Anyone seen a silver Proton Perdana bearing the plates BGJ9830 ; please call the coppers or inform our dear Bernard. His wheels got flicked in front of his office in broad daylight.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Enter The Dragon!

This story was spotted in today's edition of The Sun. And we thought that the local papers were fooking full of shite & devoid of any useful information. . . tsk tsk

(Please note pix are from Fer Fook's Sake personal collection & not from The Sun)
Press Digest by Kong See Hoh
Just when married Chinese women thought they can heave a sigh of relief now that the govt has turned down requests to import maids from China, they have to contend with a new threat - mistresses from China.
To be precise, they are mistresses for hire and are fast becoming a hit with roving males in small towns in northern peninsular Malaysia. According to a report in Oriental Daily News, these women, who are mainly from southern China, can be hired at RM2,000 a month.
Their "invasion"of mainly smaller towns in Perak and Penang began a few months ago and their presence - many turning up at eateries still in their nighties for breakfast - turns heads and is a hot subject of gossip among the rather conservative folk. According to the report, these mistresses, aged between 25 and 30 and pretty on the average, troop into the country on social visits visas with the help of a 'Big Sister'- a mistress for hire turned "agent".
The Big Sis show would-be sugar-daddies pictures of these women and after they have made their pick, arranges for them to fly in. The women pay for their way here but after the "affairs", the sugar-daddies would pay for their ticket home.
Apart from having to return to their love nest at the end of the day, they are free to work for extra income at nightspots but are not allowed to engage in sex. A contractor told the daily he got to know a Big Sis through a friend who had engaged her services. He said Big Sis showed him a stack of pictures of pretty Chinese women and told him he just had to make his pick and the woman of his choice would be in M'sia to meet him within a month.
He was told he needed only pay RM2,000 a month as pocket money to the mistress and provide her with a place to stay.

Fer Fook's Sake has a few questions though - what does the reporter mean by "pretty on the average"? So-so only? Most of them average looking? On average they are mostly pretty?
Is there a money back guarantee if chosen mistress does not match pix quality?
Can we place her in a shed as a living quarters? Hole in the ground toilet (just like in China) can or not ?
Is Puchong considered a "small town"?
Since I've given up tobacco & booze, RM2000 a month seems like a decent deal, rite fellas? . . . Oh, hello, wifey. . . crash, bang, wallop!!! . . . (chair breaking) . . . (glass smashing) . . . (bones cracking) . . .
Sorry, Siaran Tergendala

Mrs Fer Fook's Sake would like to apologise fer the sudden loss of transmission. This blog will be temporarily be out of commission as blogger learns to use his limbs again . . .

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Are we really that stupid?

Now, there have been two headline hogging issues that I have steered clear of with good reason. The first one is regarding the two fooking space monkeys masquerading as pioneering Malaysians. It just fooking pisses me off this space stunt, it really does. A quick browse thru many of the local blogs & you would think that most reasonable & right-thinking citizens would be up in arms over this colossal waste of tax payers money.

The mind boggles at what RM100 million could have been used fer - better public health services, improved education facilities or building better flyovers that don't come tumbling down mid-construction! At a time when our economy is in tatters & people are really struggling with the increasing prices of fooking EVERYTHING, the govt fooking decides to do this instead of kick-starting the economy.

But cometh the day to launch our Dr Male Model into orbit, I was fooking stunned to hear people (whom I consider intelligent & reasonable) talking excitedly bout this "monumental" & "historic" Malaysian achievement!?!

"Fooking hell," I blurted out, "You cannot be fooking serious!?!" Unfortunately, they were. And they continued babbling excitedly bout how proud they were to be Malaysians & how fooking handsome the space Doc is etc etc.

Is it just me or has everyone within me earshot suddenly gone stupido? Are we as a nation truly comprised of homo-bodohians or is it due to the constant stream of bullshit the govt feeds us via the various controlled media? The former, I can live with but the latter . . .

Now, the other issue that I have avoided commenting upon is the tragic & truly sickening rape/murder of young Nurlin. Rightfully, we mourn. Surely, the sense of outrage was justified. Questions were asked - what kind of sicko would do such a thing?

Well, if you want to know, just ask any one of the sick bastards/bitches who were guilty of forwarding the email of the poor victim's autopsy pix. I was told they were gruesome; the offending vegetables had yet to be removed.

Now, I don't know bout you but if you were truly sickened, horrified, traumatised, shocked by this tragedy; would you even countenance looking at these pictures, let alone forward them. How could these people trivialise this girl's death into a sensationalist email to be passed around?

I was well & truly shocked when I heard somebody say she wanted to see it. All wild-eyed excitement & all-out curiosity. Y'know what, this person is a mother of two. And I asked her how she could fathom looking at such pix when she had kids of her own.

Again, the mind fooking boggles at what we Malaysians have turned into. Sickos? Look around you, s/he is probably just sitting right next to you . . .

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Celtic Frost- Circle of the Tyrants

Obituary playing Celtic Frost's Circle of Tyrants

Best of Tengkorak Rock!

Continuing on the theme of me last posing, I've remembered another blast from the past. This is a right toughie as the videos above feature two of me very favourite bands doing the same song - Obituary doing a cover of Celtic Frost's Circle Of The Tyrants.

The first video is of the mighty Celtic Frost who are considered to be the pioneers of death/black metal & the video was shot during their early 80s pomp. Check out the band's suitably metal fashion sense! I have always wanted to walk around with a big fooking studded wrist band and dress like a barbarian heavy metal warrior hell bent on leather! Add a bit of face paint & a touch of black mascara & I think I'll look fooking ACE! But noooo, wifey has to be a fooking killjoy & insist I behave me age . . .

Second vid features what I consider to be one of the best death metal bands to have ever walked the planet. I urge even the non-metalheadz to this blog to check em out as their live shows fooking kick ass.

Awesome music + quite possibly the deathliest growl this side of the universe from "singer" John Tardy + serious headbanging from the Obituary themselves = SERIOUS FOOKING METAL!

Again, I ask you to vote on which is the better version - ori or cover? I'm leaning towards the cover as I've had the privilege to actually see Obituary live during their Cause Of Death tour & this song tore the fooking roof off! Like I said, this is a tough choice & as usual, I look forward to yer comments & thoughts on the subject.

PS: Both bands have reformed in the last few years & have new LPs out. Obituary released Executioners Return in Aug 2007 whilst The Frost's new album Monotheist also hit the market earlier this year.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Love will tear us apart / Susanna and The Magical Orchestra

JOY DIVISON + Love will tear us apart +

Compare & Contrast

A few days ago, another blog I frequent (Senorita's I Like It Sweet) recommended a tune she had recently discovered. It was Frente's Bizarre Love Triangle. Of course, almost immediately all the OARs (old-age-rockers) was at pains to point out that it was a cover of a New Order tune.
I will admit that the Aussie band's effort was pretty cool & it was a genuine attempt at doing a well-loved song in a totally different manner. Now when a tune or a band is considered something of a sacred cow (like New Order), it does require some big fooking balls to meddle with it. Coz you're not just messing with a composer's arrangements but you are fooking with millions of punters' tightly-held memories of the tune, the band and of themselves (ie it is the soundtrack to our own lives; how a song reminds you of a certain time in yer life etc).

Senorita did make the effort to check out the original but said she preferred Frente's version. That got me thinking - how many times have I encountered a cover that bettered the original or at least did a major reworking to the tune. One that immediately pops into mind is The Cardigans ultra-sweet & candy-fluff rendition of godfathers of metal Black Sabbath's Sabbath Bloody Sabbath. Then I happened to pick up an old compilation CD that came free with Uncut magazine & it featured this duo called Sussana & The Magical Orchestra.

Now, I know this is gonna piss off a lot of people but their version of Love Will Tear Us Apart is fooking awesome! The original by Joy Division was urgent, frantic & pulse-quickeningly good. It was a totally new way to phrase a love tune & it is rightly held in high esteem. Its so good that New Order (the band that rose from the ashes of Joy Division) also released it as a single later on.

But compare that to new version and Sussana & The Magical Orchestra's version packs just as big a punch in terms of impact. Stark, moody & completely opposite in terms of tempo; their version is fooking brilliant. The cold atmospherics of the keyboards & sweetness of her voice does little to blunt the sheer sense of loneliness this song conveys.

As usual, I look forward to your comments & what you think of the new version compared to the original. Also do feel free to recommend any covers you think might have topped the original composition.

PS: Let me take this opportunity to wish all me Muslim mates Selamat Hari Raya. And to everyone else - HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

RTK - The Kop On Panorama 1964

Shanks and the Kop celebrates the '73 Championship

The way we were

In this darkened times, I cannot but help bask in past glories like many Kopites are wont to do. It is no wonder opposing fans say we enamoured with history. Yet, I make absolutely no fooking apologies fer being a nostalgist & fer revelling in the rich history & traditions of me beloved Liverpool Football Club.

Whether you are a Kopite or not, I strongly urge you to watch these two videos. The vid on our '73 celebrations show the camaraderie & mutual adoration between the Anfield crowd & the late, great Bill Shankly. Even the commentator's voice was quivering with raw emotion.
Where is that connection today? Also note the commentator saying Liverpool played 66 games that season bringing home the league & Uefa cup. And there was no FOOKING ROTATION with that team!

The panaroma segment is a close examination of the living, breathing entity that is the Kop end at Anfield. Contrast this with the deafening silence that it was fer the most part during the Spurs game last weekend. How sad & tragic . . .

If these two videos doesn't bring tears to yer eyes or at least raise a goosebump or two, you are most definitely devoid of a pulse. As usual, feel free to post a comment regarding our beloved Reds & the ongoing debate as to our sudden loss of form.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Useful history lesson

One of the most favoured expressions of all time is "Fook you!" That coupled with the appropriate gesture (see pix of the little hooligan above) is instantly recognisable the world over & whose meaning are never in doubt.

Well, here's the meaning behind the raised finger & the history behind that oft used & abused phrase that has entered our modern lexicon. I received this history lesson from me friend Kevo (TQ mate!) & thought I'd share it with you. I have reproduced said email verbatim.

Reminds me of that old adage, you learn something new everyday. Indeed . . .

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" or "pluck yew".

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, "See, we can still pluck yew!".

Since'"pluck yew" is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative "F", and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird.

And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing!
PS: If any of you have any interesting stories bout the origins of local swear words/gestures, please feel free to share them with us here.

Jeremy Clarkson: Top 10 of 100 cars of the century (Part 1)

Jeremy Clarkson-Top 10 Cars Part 2

Dream Cars

I have been lucky enough to have had the opportunity to be able to afford some of me very own dream machines (though not of the super-expensive luxury variety). Always wanted a Beetle, and me very first car when I started working was a Bug. Me & me mates had plenty of drunken, rowdy adventures in that bright red Buggy, that is, until I fooking wrecked it.

Also been a fan of the Mini ever since I was captivated by the very chic & urban looking Clubman when I was a wee lad. Kept bugging me dad to buy one as a family car but me dad thought they were rubbish cars ("too low, too small & too unconfortable"). So he told me that I had to fooking wait till I was old enough to buy me own wheels. And that's exactly what I did. I now own two models - the Austin MkIII (1973) version was originally bought with a 1275 GT engine but is now in the care of my sibling who has put in quite a few nice touches to it; and me pride & joy the Austin MkI (1965) which is almost 99% original. (Sorry, don't have a digital camera or a scanner to download some pix here - will do so in future).

So it fills with great pride that this humble small car had managed to make it onto Jeremy Clarkson's top 10 of the all time greats. Whatever you may say bout JC, he & his chums make Top Gear the absolute BEST motoring programme on the telly (NTV7, Sun 3pm). Funny, irreverent & downright rude at times, Top Gear manages to capture the very zeitgeist of the infantile male psyche - fast cars & a penchant fer fooking destroying stuff! (see what happens to the Kelisa below & you'll see what I mean. Ha ha!)

So fer you viewing pleasure, here are the videos (above, in two parts) of Jeremy Clarkson top 10 greatest road machines. (note Brit-ccentric bias with complete shut out of Jap cars!)

WARNING: Please have kleenex on stand by to wipe drool, especially with regards to numero uno.

PS: Bernard & wifey - make sure you check out no9; you'll love this bit.