Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Blonde on Blonde

Let me just categorically state that I happen to think all me departmental colleagues fall under the "intelligent" & "educated" categories. But somehow they too are prone to a blonde moment or three . . .

Eg:

1) Miss Siew Pau has been planning to get inked. So she asks me this gem of a question - "Bala, tattoos don't bleed do they?" (!!!)

2) Me manager (let's call her by her initials) AAS is looking to change her wheels & a certain Alfa Romeo has caught her eye. So I suggested she also check out the Fiat. Her response, "Don't want lar all this Taiwanese cars." (!!!!)

And last but not least, this absolutely priceless moment;

3) I still use an old fashioned tape recorder fer interviews. So when I had done one such interview, I passed Miss Siew Pau the cassette to transcribe contents onto website. She looked at it in a puzzled manner & asked, "How to transfer data ah this one?" (!!!!!)

Fooking hell, on all occasions, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry . . .

ps: Header is title of Bob Dylan's (arguably) greatest piece of work. All homes should have one!

18 comments:

nick m said...

LOL!!! tattoos don't bleed alright. the people who get them do! hey, bala, fiat cars from taiwan really takes the cake. maybe if they were made there they'd be fookin' more reliable!

kevo said...

nice. can remember me mum havin one of those moments way back when cds first came into prominence... after cd stopped spinning, she flipped it trying to get a listen to side b pulak! ayo... em, love you too mum. had a good laugh then but gettin meself in line for some kind of payback with me lil monster soon.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

what do chics know about cars anyway. i remember one scottish fella commutes around town in a postal-service van bcos his missus drives the BMW he owns. the only time he gets to use the car is when it needs to be serviced!

Bernard said...

Eh, they make everything in China & Taiwan nowadays. From abalone & crabs (not kidding you) to car parts, you name it they'll make a cheap knock off for you. You never know, your colleague there may know about a Taiwanese made cheap production knock off Fiat. They probably renamed it Piat or something...

Wonder what Ms Siew Pau will make of an 8 track cassette player or records for that matter.

@dam said...

Just to add on the FORTH BLONDE:

When England failed to qualify for EURO 2008, Hitz.fm's Morning Crew was talking about it and a FEMALE MANCHESTER UNITED CALLER called in and this is what she has to say:

MU fan: ARGH! I am going to kill Ronaldo!

JJ: Huh? Ronaldo doesn't play for England!

MU fan: No, he does!

JJ: He plays for Portugal!

MU fan: He plays for Protugal and also England!

JJ: No he doesn't! He plays only for Portugal.

MU fan: Oh, Tevez?

Hahahahaha!!!

Tinesh said...

Uncle B..where can i get a Piat or and Alfa Womeo? cheap cheap can k?

Achilles said...

anfielddevotee: hey at least you have some good entertainment man.

kerp: agree with you 100%. have you guys seen 2nd hand car classified ads that says "lady driver". i always wondered how that was supposed to be a selling point for your car. Sorry to all the ladies out there but most cars owned by ladies only see the interior of a service center when something is wrong with the car.. ie car cannot move anymore or there is some kind of ker-plunk sound knocking away at their engine. you get what i mean. and have you seen them drive on the road? i know some ladies are good drivers and not all are hopeless...but even my wifey curses at other women drivers and agrees that most women should not be given a driving license. so next time you see an ad that says "lady driver"... think again man.

anfield devotee said...

achilles: absolutely. Yeah man, I have to say that the "one lady owner" pitch has taken on a new light; especially as I get to see all me colleague's cars.
Miss AAS proclaims to "love & adore" her current car. Boy, you should see the condition its in. It doesn't look like its been cleaned (inside or out) since the last millenium.
Rust spots? More like rust craters & the seats, well, suffice to say, I had several mysterious insect bites on me body after the ride. Fooking hell, it was a real eye opener. Melted plastic bits, lotsa rubbish, faded paint jobs etc.

So anybody looking to buy a 2nd hand car, if its a lady owner, please avoid at all cost . . .

nick: would you buy a Fiat from Taiwan? The 'Blava' model perhaps?

bernard: yup, probably think vinyl is some funky pyrex ware . . .

kevo: Good one lar matey. But you are rite, yer little un probably show you what a fooking dinosaur you are in a few years. Or you can teach her the way of the vinyl . . .

kerp: Or when car needs to be taken to fer a fooking wash & wax . . .

tinnesh: Pls see @dam's comments. But seriously, 2nd hand alfas/fiats are fooking cheap. eg 2001 Alfa GTV 2.0 sports coupe w/ sunroof - RM69k. That's over RM150 depreciation over 5 years. Well worth the risk me thinks.

Mark said...

I was got in a life and headed right to the back because I'm on the top floor. As usual I stand there waiting for everyone to punch their floor numbers first. I noticed the lift was not moving even after the doors shut. I looked to the lady standing in front of me and noticed she had not punched a number. I proceeded to press the no.15. She then looked at me and went, "oh, mesti tekan ah?" Erm... no miss, the lift reads minds.

anfield devotee said...

mark: As Rod Serling once said, "you have just entered the Twlight Zone . . ." (cue eerie theme tune).

JonC said...

Damn! Look like a page straight out of the "how many blondes do you need to change a light bulb" book.

premo said...

Muahahaha! You guys made my Friday morning. The 'Piat' joke is especially killer - had me guffawing out loud.

Another gem perhaps to be added: Few days ago was chatting to a colleague of mine over lunch. She was basically grumbling how she had to spend her weekend entertaining the nieces and brought them to watch the Alvin and Chipmunks movie.

Cue pun intended dialogue:

Me: So I bet you went 'nuts' about the movie hehehe..

Colleague: No la I really dont like watching these kiddy movies..

Me: Was it live action, animation or a 3D movie?


Colleague: Erm it was abit of everything i think...(pause)
Whats 3D?

Me: 3D? Err like Toy Story, Ice Age etc... Was it that kind of animatics movie?

Colleague: (Puzzled look on face) Toy Story?

Haiyooo...

anfield devotee said...

premo: Not so bad lar yer colleague. Some people just don't watch movies.
But off topic, wanna go check out the Alfa GTV? Ini loan ada. How? Am quite free Sun?

JonC: How many blonde females does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one! A wink & a nod & there'll be a fooking dozen male volunteers to fooking do it.

Achilles said...

Premo: good story. hahahaha I actually had a colleague who thought Lord of the Rings was about a space adventure and she thought it was called Lord of the Super Ring... not joking man. She actually got a shock when i told her what it was about and she kept going "are you serious.. wow, sounds interesting-lah"

JonC said...

Ignorance is bliss eh? Wahahahahahaa!

theALBERTUS said...

damn and i thought most college US blonde chicks i know were the perennial dumb nuts! Here also got ah?

You think dumb blondness are the same as SPGs? Hrmmm whaddy'all think? And you ask me why politics in this country is as good as non-existent.

AHAH!! Another way of government brain-washing!AHAHAHAHHAHHH!

Mandeep Gill said...

tattoos fucking get you bleeding nicely.

My mom did this to me once.

"Mandeep, how do you spell p-u-n-c-t-u-a-l?"

I actually cried. hehe

senorita.. said...

wait wait..... let me recall my blonde moments..... =P