Saturday, September 29, 2007

Sobriety Fooking Sucks!



Returned home from the hospital today. Good to be back & equally nice to see all the well wishers on me previous post. TQ all. Here are just a few anecdotes/observations from me stay that I'd like to share with you:

RE: Hospital food
Low sugar, low salt, less oil, no fat, no fried foods = no odour & no fooking taste. Luckily there were a couple of 24 hour mamak shops around the corner from SJMC fer me to indulge in a little flavour . . . the plate of maggi goreng never tasted soooo fooooking gooood.

RE: Cute Nurses
One thing I was looking forward to was perhaps to be looked after by some sweet young things. That was certainly the case when I was hospitalised in Assunta many years ago after a giant Punjabi drunkard kicked me already-injured knee (am sure some of me visitors then remember a certain nite nurse by the name of Geraldine Priscilla Rosario; in fact I think most came to catch a glimpse of her instead of cheering me up). But not only have they now made the nurses wear seriously drab uniforms; they no longer wear skirts made from white see-through material! Don't the hospital authorities realise that this was an important part of the recovery/healing process . . . Plus the amount these private hospitals charge, you'd expect some playboy bunnies to be among the staff! Don't they realise that sexy nurses (like pix above) will probably attract more patients than expert doctors!?!

RE: Enemy Doctors
I was being treated by a rheumatologist who was nice enough till he came to administer a couple of injections into me knees (fooking ouch!). Although I have a couple of large tattoos I am still quite a pondan when it comes to needles. As luck would have it, the good Doc notices the Liver Bird proudly etched into me forearm. "You Liverpool fan ah?"he queries. I nodded yes. "Bad news fer you, I'm a man u fan," he said with an evil fooking laugh. Bloody hell, last thing you want to hear before a couple of joint injections!
I closed me eyes & endured the sharp, painful sensation as the needle burrowed into skin, flesh & sinew. He took it out & asked whether I was ok. "Painful but bearable. I had expected much worse from a joint injection," I said. "Oh no, that was just the anesthetic, now I will give you the injection proper." Aaaaaaaaaaaargh! (echoing into a deep abyss). . . whimper, whimper . . .

RE: Sobering conclusion
I have been a gout sufferer for more than a decade, no thanks to a seriously unhealthy lifestyle which encompasses smoking Lucky Strikes backed up by a pack or two of gudang garam. Plus I have been a heavy fooking drinker fer more than half me life. The smoking accounts fer me hypertension (supporting LFC probably contributed as well) & the boozing the sole cause of me gout.
Now, the doctor was at pains to explain the necessity to control me diet. Fair enough & wasn't too fussed as many of the things I avoid anyways (eg crabs, beef, cabbage etc). As fer tobacco, I have cut down seriously & should not have too much of a problem quitting this admittedly nasty habit.
But me world was turned upside down when he said I had to give up booze. . . forever (no more empty mugs like above, not fer me anyway)! Tears welled up in me eyes. A pounding sensation started in me rib cage. No, tell me this ain't true. "Afraid it is, yer uric acid count is way too high & yer body cannot cope with heavy duty drinking," explained Dr Manc. I almost fooking blacked out from an anxiety attack but managed to stay conscious . . . just. An overwhelming sense that an era had truly come to an end. . . No more late boozy nites supporting LFC. No more rowdy Chinese New Year & Deepavali gatherings. Wedding dinners will be what they truly are - fooking boring!

Oh woe is me . . . It's only been a few hours since I returned home from the hospital & already I am dejected, miserable & fooking depressed. I can't even bring meself to attend Bernard's lantern party tonite as there will be tons of booze there . . . sob.

Sobriety fooking sucks!

PS: TQ to Bernard, Gavin, Surin, Pure & the Mun clan fer visiting me. Cheers!

15 comments:

weiyin69 said...

well, cheer up. too much booze is gonna be bad news for you, eventually. so might as well stay away from it. i know life is short. but it's no fun to be in constant pain even with short lifespans! at least you still have your comics ...

anfield devotee said...

Forget sliced bread, ignore the invention of the wheel, human flight? Pah!

Alcohol: quite possibly the greatest lubricant ever invented.

I will miss you greatly . . .

weiyin69 said...

I'm sure alchol will miss you sorely too. Amen.

kevo said...

hey sorry lah to hear bout it. its a sad sad situation bro. alcohol has truly been bereaved of a great lover. anywez good to have yer back all well. life without booze is still worth living mate. cheers, you be cool.

Jonathan said...

Mate, i hereby vow to not let you drink coke alone whenever we meet-up for match gatherings!You drink coke, i drink coke.

anfield devotee said...

Jon: No la, bro, I would not force anyone else to endure the hell that I have been forced into . . .If LFC were playing sweet flowing samba style footie, nevermind la, this kinda of fooking shite & I have to watch it fooking sober!!!

senorita.. said...

weih..... time to change......... to mamak stalls and teh tarik! come,i drink with u..!! =P

premo said...

Anfield Devotee: Sobriety isn't so bad dude. Try takin a month off without a drop of alcohol and you'll see what I mean. The first week's the hardest but just grit yer teeth and bear with it.

The best way to not think about it (temptation) is to keep yourself busy with 'personal' projects. Y'know, stuff that you've always wanted to do but been putting off for ages. I'm no self-help guru, but it worked for me when I had to stay off meat and alcohol in preparation for Thaipusam.

Of course if all else fails, there's always hard drugs. Kidding he he he

anfield devotee said...

senorita: TQ & very nice of you but we are talking about something I truly fooking enjoy. This is gonna be fooking difficult.

premo: yes, your abstinence was fer a set period. Like that, no prob la. But mine is fer fooking infinity la woi . . . boo hoo hoo!

Bernard said...

Senorita: Don't think he can 'teh tarik' too much either unless he order teh/kopi/milo etc. 'O' or at least 'kurang-kurang manis'.

anfield devotee: Will come by your place one of these days & clean up whatever's left of your alcohol stocks since you're gonna do f*@k all with it.

anfield devotee said...

Bernard: Make it Deepavali weekend la, Nov 8 (thurs), so we see how la, ok?

No need teh o la, am generally careful with sugar, so no diabetes yet.

senorita.. said...

aiyo... minum ais kosong or teh-o-ais limau then.... ahaha... bernard's an opportunist

Bernard said...

anfield devotee: OK, set. Will bring abig truck to cart away the stuff and a big fluffy absorbent towel for you to wipe away the tears!!

Bernard said...

PS : Senorita, am not an opportunist. Just helping to make sure he don't steal a drink every so often. Anyhow, whatever stocks obtained WILL be for the greater good of all his friends as it will be shared of course. You're more than welcome to join...

senorita.. said...

hehehe... i am not so notty in this sense.. dowan make Mr Blog Owner cry more... =P