Tunes from Middle Earth (Summoning: Oath Bound)

Now, this is something that has NOT happened to me fer quite some time - to be absolutely gobsmacked by something coz its so original & out there. Many a times, me will have waxed lyrical about some band or another but The Summoning is really something else.

Ladies & longhairs, me proudly presents you AMBIENT METAL based on the lyrics of Tolkien. While The Lord of the Rings has inspired many a heavy metal anthem (eg Led Zep's Battle of Evermore), welded together with this Austrian outfits ingenious use of synth, choirs & reverb (on almost every fooking sound!) has created an album quite unlike any other me has had the pleasure of listening to fer quite some time. (Plus they sing in dem ANCIENT languages of Middle Earth!)

Atmospheric like fook & constructed almost like a soundtrack, Oath Bound is er . . . bound to leave you fooking speechless. Me guarantees you'll not have heard anything like it.

To download Summoning's Oath Bound (2006), please click here: http://rapidshare.com/files/198526087/S-OB.rar .

Trust me, this is one damn original sounding outfit. It is truly well worth yer time & effort!

Happy Labour Day weekend!

ps: This download is especially fer Mr Medieval Warrior - Achilles!

pps: If ye dig this album, you may want to check out their earlier work - Stronghold (1999). Download at: http://metalcentral.blogspot.com/2006/05/summoning-stronghold.html

ppps: Although the tune (below) isn't from the album, its a good representation of the atmospheric sound of the band.

Cool or what?

Me posted some time ago about how much me enjoyed The Watchmen movie. Unfortunately, it looks like the film adaptation of the Alan Moore / Dave Gibbons graphic novel failed to light up the box office. Well, canna win em all. To date, it has only brought in a paltry $100-plus million which is still $50-70m short of covering production & marketing costs.

Me thinks its down to the fact that Watchmen isn't yer typical icons like Spidey & Bats who over the decades has managed to infiltrate the mass consciousness that is Joe Public. This book dealt with one-off characters & spectacular as the storyline was, it simply failed to register beyond those who are familiar with the book & the ultra-heavy reputation of its creator - Alan Moore.

Still, me thought me'd post a pretty fooking cool screensaver (above) me found recently fer yer to download (http://www.watchmencomicmovie.com/wallpaper/watchmen-wallpaper.php?img=Simpsons_1280x1024.jpg).

Also, me would like to urge those who have yet to catch this flick to do so on DVD & also keep yer eyes peeled fer a special (separate) DVD containing all the extra shit. This just isn't yer typical 'making of' bullshit but includes the animated feature of Tales of the Black Freighter (the comic within The Watchmen comic) as well as docu-style feature (Under The Hood) revealing plenty of history bout the original Minutemen (precursor to The Watchmen). And, of course, you could pop by Kinokuniya or Borders or any one of dem small indie comix stores & buy a copy of the graphic novel.

ps: Screensaver is especially fer uber-Simpsons fan - Jah Mighty Kerp.

Football is the new rock n roll!

Regular visitors to these parts will know that me twin passions are footie & music. And Sir Les of Bangsar manor was kind enough to forward me this utterly hilarious article from Four Four Two.

Read on & do post yer comments!

ps: Kopites without a fooking sense of humour may want to look away . . .

Rock'n'Goal Week: Celebrating music's relationship with the beautiful game
The Music Man
If Premier League teams were bands...
Friday 24 April 2009

Leading sportswriter Richard Williams once analysed Cristiano Ronaldo and Kaka’s styles of play in terms relating to classical music. According to Williams, Kaka is like a C&W twang on a mouth iron, while Ronaldo is a whopping funk riff on slap bass played by a strung-out geezer in a ‘fro and stack heels… oh alright, that wasn’t the point he was making.

Seems Winker was “allegro molto vivace, with a pronounced fondness for bursts of staccato phrasing via those quick-stepping feet,” while Kaka “plays at a permanent andante cantabile”. No, we’ve no idea either.

Still, it got us thinking. Which bands really speak 'Premier League football' to us?
Now, unlike Mr Williams – who at Melody Maker once accidentally mistook an EMI engineer’s test pressing for a John Lennon album and reviewed it in glowing terms – we’re simple folk when it comes to tunes, so there’ll be no mentions of glissandos, diminuendos or minimalist compositions here. Well, only one.

ARSENAL: Air
This French synth combo are classy, ephemeral and aesthetically pleasing – though the melodies are often lightweight, noodle unnecessarily, and rarely culminate in a satisfying conclusion. (Speaking of music, the crowd at the Emirates are music buffs to a man, often raising the roof with their rousing renditions of John Cage’s 4’33".)

ASTON VILLA: Prince
Prince enjoyed spectacular success in the early-'80s before going steadily – some would say spectacularly – downhill. He’s enjoyed a couple of minor successes since, but most of the time people simply shake their heads and wonder what the hell happened to a once-great institution. (Coincidentally, former chairman Doug Ellis is rumoured to do a cracking karaoke version of Sexy Motherf*cker!!!).

BLACKBURN: Radiohead
The Oxford miserablists enjoyed phenomenal sales in the mid-'90s. They looked set fair for a long period of dominance, but threw it away big-style with a series of amazingly wilful career decisions. Replacing the majestic guitar swirl of The Bends with the piss-in-a-puddle drums of Amnesiac is one thing… but Kenny Dalglish for Ray Harford, Brian Kidd and Paul Ince?

BOLTON: Snow Patrol
A bunch of professional chaps who always turn up on time and get the job done with minimum fuss. Problem is, nobody remembers an effing thing they ever do. Or know what any of them look like.

CHELSEA: Coldplay
Immensely successful – yet equally unpopular. Nobody you’ll ever meet actually admits to liking this lot – perhaps because there’s such a ridiculous amount of money thrown at the production, and what’s produced is turgid rubbish.

EVERTON: The Beatles
A Merseyside outfit whose toppermost days were in the 1960s. They’ve still got a big reputation, but it doesn’t take a genius to spot that only 50 percent of their members have any discernable talent.

FULHAM: The Bangles
They work-for-an-E-gyp-tian.

HULL CITY: Elbow
Phenomenally underachieving northerners suddenly hit the big time and get the ‘overnight success’ they’ve worked decades to achieve, to widespread hair-ruffling delight. But it’ll be interesting to see how they follow it up…

LIVERPOOL: David Hasselhoff
To the human eye these two institutions appear so identical they suggest a single hybrid. The Hofferpool, if you will. Both enjoyed glory days in the ’80s when they bossed Europe with some of the finest perms the world had ever seen. Both have huge followings in Germany. And both emerged from the doldrums in the Noughties to score unexpected hits as varied as Jump In My Car and winning the Champions League.


MANCHESTER CITY: Oasis
Yes, it seems far too obvious. But examine the evidence – they’re wealthier than they’ve ever been, but are past their best, fail dismally in their goal to recreate the heady days of the 1960s, and are prone to occasional bursts of extreme violence.

MANCHESTER UNITED: Thelonious Monk
The legendary jazz pianist pressed keys which should never have worked together in a million years, but somehow did. Fergie meanwhile cobbled together a winning side with a midfield containing the likes of John O’Shea and Darren Fletcher. Mmm, nice!

MIDDLESBROUGH: The Magic Numbers
Cuddly, wholesome kids who no one really minds but who seem inexorably headed for the dumper.

NEWCASTLE: The Grateful Dead
Blessed with an unbelievable number of rabid fans who can see no wrong in their heroes whatsoever. Everyone else looks on in total bemusement.


PORTSMOUTH: Massive Attack
Peter Crouch gags are great, aren’t they?

STOKE: Motley Crue
Like ’em or loathe ’em, you can’t deny the formula works. May be prone to the odd bout of in-fighting but you wouldn’t want to get into an argument with their army of loyal, noisy fans.

SUNDERLAND: The Arcade Fire
The Canadian hipsters first hit the big time a couple of years ago, and enjoyed much critical success with their initial effort. But despite good early notices, in reality their second effort saw them merely treading water, and nobody’s talking about them much any more. Let’s face facts, their time is already running out.

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR: U2
Big on bluster and not half as important as they think they are.

WEST BROM: The Smiths
So many of The Smiths’ lyrics speak directly to Baggies fans. “I know it’s over.” “Heaven knows I’m miserable now.” "Sing me to sleep / I don’t want to wake up any more." “Panic.” “Until it’s mathematically impossible to stay up / We’ll carry on giving it our all.” Actually, we’re not sure if that last one was one of Morrissey’s or not; we’ll have to check.


WEST HAM UNITED: Chas ’n’ Dave
Yes, we know Chas, Dave and the drummer from Chas’n’Dave did all the FA Cup final songs for Spurs. But you couldn’t get a more typical Sound of East London if you strapped Lee Bowyer’s head to the axle of his Baby Bentley and went wheel-spinning around Dagenham for a couple of hours.

WIGAN: Fatboy Slim
A chancer who made his name in the ’80s and now pieces together loads of different bits of old tat to make something which is passable at best.

Shit Stirring & the Politics of Race

Me fellow Malaysians,

Malaysians are very fond of pointing out our (supposed) multi-racial harmony.

Please read the following article & tell me what ye thinks.

The Malaysian Insider
Thursday April 23 2009Police station mobbed after school fight PONTIAN, April 23 — A mob of about 1,000 laid siege to a police station in Pekan Nanas, Johor, on Monday after a Malay teacher was allegedly assaulted by a Chinese man in a national school.

The police station was locked up and a Federal Reserve Unit squad was deployed to prevent the crowd from storming the building.

The police were armed with assault guns while others carried shields or tear gas canisters as they formed a protective ring around the police station.

According to Johor Criminal Investigation Department chief Amer Awal, the problem started when a 13-year-old Chinese student was slapped by a 17-year-old Malay student last Friday after he accidentally brushed the older boy's shoulders.

The Chinese boy is the grandson of a well-known MCA leader, a news website reported.

Sin Chew Daily reported that the Chinese student was transferred to the school less than a month ago and had a history of playing truant. He was once suspended from school for 14 days, the paper reported.

After the assault, the younger boy's father turned up with three friends at the school on Monday to settle the matter but was stopped by the Malay teacher, who is believed to be the father of the student who had hit the boy.

A fight broke out between the two, and the teacher later lodged a police report claiming that he sustained injuries to his face, chest and back.

The 36-year-old father of the Chinese boy was arrested while he was making a report at the Pekan Nanas police station.

When news of the incident broke out, the teacher's friends and relatives began to gather at the police station.

Scuffles erupted between the angry crowd and the police while the boy's father was being transferred to the Pontian district police headquarters in a van.

The crowd tried to stop the van from leaving, with some people throwing objects at the vehicle, smashing one of its windows.

The police are investigating the slapping incident while the father, who has been remanded, is being investigated for trespassing and causing offence in a group.

Following the incident, SMS messages were circulated among Pekan Nanas residents warning them of racial tensions and telling them to stay at home.

Deputy Youth and Sports Minister Wee Jeck Seng urged the police to come down hard on those responsible for circulating the SMS messages. — The Malaysian Insider


Are we so fooking sad that a RACIAL RIOT could be triggered by something so fooking childish & juvenile as ONE BULLY SLAPPING THE FATHER OF ANOTHER BULLY? Haiyo, sedih la . . .

Rastaman Vibration (Bob Marley & The Wailers: Exodus)

"Axe-Ceee-Dos! Movement of Jah people!" Not very many people can sing with a thick, indecipherable accent & make it sound fooking cool, but Bob Marley is one of em. Was just jammin' to this masterclass of an album over the weekend & never ceases to amaze me just how utterly fooking brilliant this album still sounds today.

And what is even more amazing, there are music fans who are NOT moved by this man's genius. Better yet are those who give the "one or two songs, ok lar" response when all they've heard is bloody Buffalo Soldier & No Woman, No Cry.

This album rocks with a vitality & energy that give all the songs here an urgency that is quite simply illuminating. Maybe, it was the fact this was recorded shortly after a Marley was shot in an assassination attempt. Maybe, it was some fooking super-strength gun jah. Whatever the muse, Exodus is a prime example of a musician touched by a higher power. Me remembers watching a vid of him laying down the vocal tracks to Could You Be Loved clad in only a singlet & sandals, and me kids you not, you could literally see an aura around his dreadlocks.

Me truly hopes those who don't own a copy to take the time to download this absolute gem of an album. As the cliche goes, every home should have one . . .

As usual, me looks forward to reading yer comments on the LP as well as yer fave Marley moments. Below is a typically scintillating performance of the title track in California, 1979. Irrreeeeeee, maaan!


ps: Fer more info, click here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exodus_(album)

pps: Track listing: Natural Mystic" – 3:28; "So Much Things to Say" – 3:08;
"Guiltiness" – 3:19; "The Heathen" – 2:32; "Exodus" – 7:39; "Jamming" – 3:31; "Waiting in Vain" – 4:15; "Turn Your Lights Down Low" – 3:39; "Three Little Birds" – 3:00; "One Love/People Get Ready" (Marley, Curtis Mayfield) – 2:53

Breaking Glass - RIP JG Ballard

"In his vision of a car crash with the actress, Vaughan was obsessed by many wounds and impacts--by the dying chromium and collapsing bulkheads of their two cars meeting head-on in complex collisions endlessly repeated in slow-motion films, by the identical wounds inflicted on their bodies, by the image of windshield glass frosting around her face as she broke its tinted surface like a death-born Aphrodite, by the compound fractures of their thighs impacted against their handbrake mountings, ban above all by the wounds to their genitalia, her uterus pierced by the heraldic beak of the manufacturer's medallion, his semen emptying across the luminescent dials that registered forever the last temperature and the fuel levels of the engine." - excerpt from Crash (1973).

Anyone who can make a car crash sound erotic & horrific at the same time is pretty fooking cool by me.

RIP - James Graham Ballard (November 15, 1930 - April 19, 2009).

ps: Fer more info, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._G._Ballard .

Free Sounds fer the Weekend - Godflesh!!!

Just goes to show just how out of touch me has been with extreme music is the fact that me wasn't even aware of the existence of a dub mix album of Godflesh's Songs of Love & Hate despite it being out there fer over a decade. (It was recently re-released as a two disc box set alongside the original long player).

Thanx to the joys of the Internet, me not only found out bout it but also got to download both albums. Those not familiar with Godflesh, just imagine one of those concrete steamrollers slowly grinding away & flattening the inner highways of yer cranium.

Slow, heavy, doom-laden sounds fer a wasted industrial age. Fer a traditionalist like who likes to see four-, six-strings & two sticks in band, me was pretty fooking blown away with what a couple of noiseniks could achieve with a drum machine. Of course, Godflesh went on to become an underground sensation paving the way fer the likes of Ministry, Pitchshifter & KMFDM.

So fer yer enjoyment this weekend, me presents to you a double download package. Both the original album & its dub companion.

To download Godflesh's Songs of Love & Hate (1996), go to:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5AM0LV11

To download Godflesh's Song of Love & Hate in Dub (1997), please click here: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=L1KFZK6W

Enjoy!



ps: This posting is especially fer El Premo!

pps: Anyone interested in downloading this Brimingham outfit's entire output, please visit: http://angrychairs.blogspot.com/2009/04/godflesh-discography.html

Everyone's a critic . . .

"Her face not so cantik la, I have seen prettier examples." - Madam O

"Her body out of shape a bit la." - Fat Boy Georgie

And who were they talking about? None other than Salman Rushdie's ex-paramour, Padma effing Laxmi!!!

Fer fook's sake, everyone's a critic these days . . .

ps: Yer cordially invoted to post yer comments (after wiping away drool) . . .

In Remembrance - Hillsborough

Forget the disappointment of this morning's titanic struggle at The Bridge. We tried, we lost. Life goes on. But fer 96 souls, life certainly did not go on 20 years ago in what was supposed to be an afternoon of exhilarating footie.

What should have been a great day out fer those Kopites witnessing arguably the best Liverpool team of all time turned into tragedy at the dilapidated Lepping Lanes stand at Hillsborough just before the FA Cup semi between us & Forest.

Till today, many pertinent issues remain unanswered as well as many grieving families having no closure on this horrible episode. Me recalls watching the chaos unfold on telly but was none the wiser to the events until the casualties were reported the next day. It was sickening to think that an afternoon out fer footie would end like that.

Events like this (& the recent tragedy in Ivory Coast) put the game we all love into perspective. So while many of us are still licking the wounds of this morning's defeat, spare a thought fer our fallen comrades & their families.

Yer all invited to post yer thoughts & tributes in the comments box.

ps: Fer those to young to remember or indeed would like to read more, go to http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/football/article6083159.ece (just one of the many links recounting the horrors of that fateful day).

pps: Also see http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/i-was-a-witness-to-the-needless-death-of-96-football-fans-the-memory-still-sickens-me-1668852.html

ppps: http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/the-big-question-will-liverpools-sense-of-injustice-over-hillsborough-ever-be-resolved-1668823.html

pppps: To feel the pain & loss, read the letters at http://www.liverpoolfc.tv/news/drilldown/N163817090414-2359.htm. Tears to me eyes.

Top Hats & Bandanas (Guns N Roses: Chinese Democracy)

The last time a Guns N Roses album was released, China was a closed off, backward communist state reeling from the aftermath of Tianamen Square & a certain George Bush was President of the USA . . . senior, that is.

When the near-mythical Chinese Democracy was released last November, China has hosted an Olympic Games & is now one of the world's economic powerhouses. And Bush Junior was in his last days in office. Now, that's what you call taking yer own fooking sweet time.

Fer some of us older dudes & dudettes, tunes such as Welcome to the Jungle & Sweet Child O'Mine will forever be burned into counsciousness & remind us of our younger carefree days.

Me remembers first getting Appetite For Destruction back in '88 when me was doing me 'A' levels. And fook me, did it sound fooking dangerous. Despite me ears preferring thrash metal from the likes of Anthrax, Testament & Slayer, that debut GnR platter certainly prompted plenty of devil signs & air guitar posing.

Me knows the word 'classic' is a touch overused in these parts but Sweet Child is one of them. The moment ye hears Slash's sweet Gibson guitar intro, you'll be punching the air with yer fists & doing that silly Axl Rose gliding-around-moonwalk dance.

Things fizzed out fer the original band after too many drug & alcohol induced breakdowns & the last release bearing the GnR logo was the poonk covers affair The Spaghetti Incident way back in 1993. Since then, sporadic news of Chinese Democracy being released surfaced & as the years rolled by, it became a Roswell Incident all of its own.

Finally, after 15 years of blood, sweat & cocaine, Chinese Democracy is upon us. Too little too late or does it do justice to the moniker of Guns N Fooking Roses? Me humbly invites you to decide fer yerself.

To download, Guns N Roses Chinese Democracy, please click here: http://www.mediafire.com/?i41f1oyolzi .

Fer a trip down memory lane, me has posted the vid to THAT tune below. Enjoy!

ps: Fer more details, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_Democracy .

Compare & Contrast

We often hear that we should NOT be envious of the West or ape & mimick their culture & actions. But just compare & contrast the images below & tell me you don't feel a twinge of envy . . .

Exhibit A: First Lady of France - Carla Bruni, who is so conscious of public spending that she often appears without a stitch . . .


And Exhibit B: Malaysia's First Lady, who is er . . . me will let you decide fer yerself . . . words fail me at this time . . .

Get the message, Barisan Najis?

On behalf of the nation, the good people in Bukit Selambau & Bukit Gantang have sent the brand new PM a clear message.

FFS says 'Syabas'!!!

Yer all invited to post yer thoughts & analysis on the results of the three by-elections yesterday.

ps: Quite funny how the mainstream media played up Barisan Najis's "victory" in Batang Ai on the front pages as if it was a resounding result fer najib's regime.

Fer a few lousy dollars & empty promises . . . (Ref Malaysiakini)

Two days to three massive by-elections to go & if reports are to be believed, things don't look good fer the opposition.

With limited resources stretched to the limit & people growing weary of the continuing political brickbats, BN have become more confident that they will win all three polls.

Batang Ai is almost a done deal fer BN as 98% of the electorate are Iban & they seem to think that only BN can rule. The sheer remoteness of the area is also a major stumbling block to Pakatan canvassing.

Bukit Selambau has been riddled with problems arising from the Indian community. Very sad this & as this plays straight into the hands of Barisan Najis. To think, even that irrelevant piece of shit that is Semi fooking Value can open his fooking trap to say MIC will be a better alternative fer Indians there!!! All the hard work of Mar8 in kicking these arseholes out will have been in vain!

As fer Hindraf being played with the release of their five leaders, how can people be such willing victims to blackmail? (see http://malaysiakini.com/news/101725). Fact is they were unjustly held under a piece of shite leislation. Why should the Indian community be grateful to BN fer their release?

Needless to say, me is fooking worried that Malaysians have thrown in the towel & decided to support the new goon on charge. We have done that before & fell fer the new man's empty promises. Remember the landslide fer Bodohwi after his infamous "work with me" speech? Are we so gullible to think the new bandit in charge will be any better?

Forget local politics. The electorate in the three areas must know that to give Najib the stamp of approval will be akin to signing their own death warrants. To sell their vote fer a few extra ringgit & the promise of infrastructure means a thumbs up to the ISA, race-based politics, UMNO's supreme rule & most importantly, the right fer the new Imelda Marcos wannabe to start burning our nation's cash at her fave salons & boutiques. Wanna see how one person can spend an entire nation's reserve? Give the new Imelda & her Balki cohorts some time & you'll see fer yerselves.

People please. Change will require patience & we are in battle fer the long haul. To the people of Bukit Selambau, Bukit Gantang & Batang Ai, please don't sell yer nation down the river fer a few extra lousy dollars . . .

The Dark Age is finally here . . .

What is me talking about?

Today, our dear country takes its first step into the abyss.

It will be oily . . . sweaty . . . & fooking STINK of BOTOX!!!


Ladies & gents, you are invited to post yer thoughts on our country's first ever female PM . . .