Waxing lyrical or schadenfreude . . . ?

Me makes a living writing stuff & how I wish me could wield the mighty pen like the the fine examples below:

"After all the talk of destiny and all those claims that a fourth European Cup would only begin to reflect Manchester United’s size and ambition, a balmy night in Rome brought anticlimax and regret. They were outclassed by an outstanding Barcelona team — a group of players who showed what grace, elegance and class of the highest order still exist far beyond the Elysian fields of the Barclays Premier League. It takes a special team to make United look ordinary, let alone ugly, but Barcelona, a truly beautiful team, had done so and no one, not least Ferguson, denied the best side had won." - Oliver Kay, The Times

"Two mornings ago Alex Ferguson still thought he had a team that would place him among the top European managers from right across history. By full-time he was back in one of those cold-sweat, pre-1993 moments, defeated by a football club, actually a football institution, which made his own look puny." - Sam Wallace, Independent

"The margin of victory was two goals but the gap between the ambitions, and the execution, of the two teams touched on infinity. It would be comfortable to say the champions of England were beaten. Unfortunately, though, it ran a little deeper than that. They had been undressed and outclassed by the most beautiful team in all of football." - Martin Samuel, Independent

ps: definition of schadenfreude (wikipedia) as “largely unanticipated delight in the suffering of another which is cognized as trivial and/or appropriate.”

pps: While me makes no apologies fer me poorly-disguised contempt fer the AIGs, fact remains they have managed to FINALLY pull even with us in league stakes.

Highway to Hell . . . (Slayer: South Of Heaven)

Not much to say today. Same neverending flow of shite in local politics. Footie season came to an end. So me'll just share the download link to Slayer's follow-up to Reign In Blood with yer. So how does one follow-up to thrash metal's fastest, most brutal & unrelenting album of all time?

By slowing shit down! Yes, instead of trying to beat the speed trap, Slayer decide to introduce a more layered approach to their tunes. And the results are astounding.

Me knows many longhairs will scream 'sacrilegious' fer me even suggesting this, but me actually thinks this is an even better album than its predecessor. Don't agree? Download this album & give it a really good fooking listen. Then tell me what ye thinks.

To download Slayer's South of Heaven (1988), please click here: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NJTSBTVI .

Thrash on!

No sex please, we're Chinese . . .

China sex theme park comes to abrupt end

BEIJING, May 18 – China’s first sexually explicit theme park was torn down before it even started, after an outcry from officials, a Chinese newspaper reported on Monday.

Love Land, set to open in October in the southwestern city of Chongqing, featured exhibits on sexual history and how-to workshops, the China Daily newspaper reported last week.
A picture of the park entrance showed a signboard with the park’s name straddled by a giant pair of women’s legs topped by a red thong.

But the plans left Chongqing officials red-faced. They ordered the park torn down over the weekend, the China Daily reported.

Officials called the planned park “vulgar, ill-minded and misleading”, said the paper. Many Chinese citizens apparently agreed.

The park had drawn controversy on the Internet, with some calling it too much, even for fast-living Chongqing, while others praised it as a step forward for sexual candour. – Reuters


FFS says: Me is quite frankly speechless over this article.

What was the developer of this project thinking? Must have thought a greased palm or two would have allowed him to build this ill-advised theme park.

Me is no prude but even by Chinaman standards, this is crass beyond belief. Look at the red thongs in the pix la, fer fook's sake.

As fer the outcry, a country with over a billion pair of mata sepet needs no lessons in bonking me thinks.

ps: Always good to start the week with a hearty chuckle & look forward to reading yer comments.

Fooking Dream Job . . .

Spotted a headline a few days ago in an online news portal - 'Playboy looking for new CEO'. Now that's what ye call a fooking dream job, eh fellas?

Sigh . . . one can always dream.

ps: Given the disappointment of the last few days over the Perak fiasco, thought me lighten the mood with a bit of smut.

pps: you can read article about the vacancy at: http://m.themalaysianinsider.com/articles.php?id=26250-now-hiring-playboy-ceo

Growing a pair

Well, fook me silly. The Malaysian judiciary finally grew a pair of big, fat, hairy balls & actually implemented the law without fear or favour . . .

Will wonders never cease.

ps: Latest at time of posting is Nizar was on the way to Perak palace: http://malaysiakini.com/news/104091

Hate Crimes & Suicide (Dissection: The Past IS Alive)

A lead singer who spent time behind bars fer aiding & abetting the murder of homeless homosexual man. Later, said singer was found dead with a copy of "satanic bible" by his side. Welcome to the twisted world of Dissection!

Ok, am not gonna glorify hate crimes or suicide here. Fact is, Dissection was one the best death metal bands to have come out from Sweden & if the tittle tattle surrounding the band prompts ye to investigate further & download their output, so be it.

Am just doing me part by spreading the word of good sounds.

Below is an excerpt from wikipedia page on Dissection's philosophical beliefs:
The Temple of the Black Light believe in "Chaosophy". They believe that Chaos is the plane and/or power with infinite amounts of space and time, containing all dimensions, in contrast to cosmos, which only has three spatial dimensions and one linear time dimension. It is ever-changing.

Extreme militant nihilism is taught within the group, and they say the true satanist is not part of the modern society, as it is founded upon lies.

They believe in three forces, three dark veils - chaos, emptiness and darkness, which were expelled from Ain Sof in order to make way for the manifestation of The Black Light in The Outer Darkness that soon became Sitra Ahra. The three forces are the three steps back to a mysterious chaos.

These forces are above the Thaumitan, a two-headed god who allows the connection to the spiritual world. Members of the MLO seek to make that connection and channel the Black Light.

Intrigued?

Those who want a dose of good old fashioned Swedish death metal, please click here to download Dissection's The Past Is Alive: http://rapidshare.com/files/71961878/D-TPIA.by.canalladfc.rar .

Even if ye thinks all this satanist malarkey is a load of tosh, let me assures you the sound & the fury of the band is what ye'll need as ye trudge back to work Monday morning like a zombie with a ten ton tequilla-fuelled hangover.

As usual, me looks forward to reading yer comments on what ye thinks of this band & its recorded works.

ps: If ye uncomfortable with the perceived right-wing leanings of this group, fook it, yer downloading fer free & not contributing towards its coffers.

To Blow or not to Blow . . .

Just in case any of you missed this gem of a "news" article from The Star yesterday, me has reproduced it fer yer reading pleasure:

Secretary accidentally bites off boss’ penis
A SECRETARY accidentally bit off the penis of her employer while giving him oral sex in a car. (Tuesday May 5, 2009)

Sin Chew Daily and China Press reported yesterday that while the 30-year-old woman was performing oral sex on the man, the car was hit by a reversing van.

The impact of the crash, China Press reported, caused the woman to bite off her lover’s organ.

The daily reported that the incident occurred in a Singapore park where the couple met after work.

To make matters worse for the woman, her husband had sent a private investigator to spy on her after suspecting that she was being unfaithful.

The investigator said he had followed the woman and her boss to the park.

“On reaching the park, they did not alight from the car. Not long after, the car started to shake violently.

After the car was hit by the van, there was a loud scream from the woman whose mouth was covered with blood,” he said.

The woman later followed her lover to the hospital with part of the sexual organ.

The investigator, who called an ambulance to send the man to hospital, said that this was the first time he had encountered such an incident.

OUCH! AND DOUBLE FOOKING OUCH!!!

ps: Sorry, the pix was the best me could find.

pps: Look forward to reading yer comments on this painful experience!

Spelling Bee

Was sent this by me colleague & canna tell you whether its genuine. But listening to me foul-mouthed colleagues recount their experiences as their "innocent" children pick up on their colourful language, there is every fooking chance the pix above is the real deal.

Funny as fook & me though this was a good way to lift jaded spirits returning to the grind after a long weekend . . .