Respect the Elderly . . .

Hugh Hefner, the 84-year-old founder of Playboy magazine, has announced that he is to be married for the third time. In a message to his Twitter followers on Christmas Day, Hefner said he had given his 24-year-old girlfriend, model Crystal Harris, a ring.

"Yes, the ring I gave Crystal is an engagement ring," he clarified in a later tweet.
Hefner set up Playboy magazine in 1953, and Harris featured in it as Playmate of the Month in December 2009.

The soft-porn magnate and libertarian has been married twice before - to Mildred Williams in 1949, and Kimberley Conrad in 1989. Over the decades he has admitted affairs with dozens of Playmates. But last April Hefner and Harris reportedly "became exclusive".

"When I gave Crystal the ring, she burst into tears," Hefner told Twitter followers.
"This is the happiest Christmas weekend in memory." For her part, Harris told Twitter followers simply: "The most memorable Christmas ever." (From the BBC)

FFS says, tabik la this old man. Really living the Fantasy Island life. Power to the Senior Citizens me says . . .

Merry X'mas!

Wot has a scantily clad model has to do with Dec 25?

Absolutely nothing . . . but why the fook not eh?

Happy Holidays everyone!

Pictures Of You

Petrolheads who treat their rides like first wives, take note.

Here's yer chance to capture yer beloved wheels in all its greased lightning glory courtesy of Time Studios. Owner is a fellow Italia Auto member & has come up with some special packages.

As ye can see, me took the Yella Beast fer the shoot & me has to say, me is pretty fooking chuffed with the result.

Those who use better oils fer their cars than fer their own cooking & better towels to clean the cars than to wipe their own bollox should give this special offer serious consideration.

Anyone interested can call Sherman at 012-6918776.

For more information on the packages available, kindly click here: http://timestudios.blogspot.com/2010/11/to-all-automotive-enthusiasts.html

Go on, ye know its fooking worth it.

When the Four Horsemen rocked . . . (Metallica: Kill Em All)

Dusted off me copy of the album above & gave me Sunday morning the perfect heavy fooking metal wake up call (though not quite sure whether me neighbours apprreciated it!!!). And fook me silly, it is still as vibrant & a shock to the system as swilling from a bottle of Thunderbird under a sweltering noonday sun!

Before Sandman, Bob Fooking Rock, the ultra-slick videos, Napster fiasco & the ham-fisted attempts to regain former glory, Metallica were not just Bay Area heroes. They were the original masters of 'Thrash Metal' before that became a dirty word.

This debut from 1983 had the same effect on us fledgling long hairs halfway round the world as it did with teens everywhere. This was an album that signalled the creation of a generation gap between us & the older Purple/Sabbath crowd. Though most of us loved those classic bands as well, Metallica was OUR band. The pimply complexions, the stonewashed denim & white high cut sneakers combo, sleeveless jacket with patches, the scraggly hair - fook, they were one of us!

Tunes like Hit the Lights, Jump In The Fire & Seek & Destroy may sound primitive & even noisy to Black album converts, but to older longhairs (or baldies?) this remains a high point in genre.

Of course, many will debate the merits of the next three LPs, but this debut effort remains one of me fave metal LPs of all time. Ye can hear the urgency of a band taking flight and of a new sound breaking out.

Watch this vid & roll back the years . . .



If ye've lost yer copy of this vintage piece of metal or never owned one, please click here fer free download: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=GI4IYTK0 .

Look forward to reading yer fondest memories of this classic that's now over a quarter of a century old . . .

BKT: A Love Supreme

There's nothing quite like a boiling hot claypot of pork rib tea fer dinner during the rainy season to warm them tired bones & to soothe a growling belly.

And just before me heads over to me neighbourhood stall, here are a few things to note:

1) This dish is TRULY MALAYSIAN. Abso-fooking-lutely nay argument. Nay Indonesian or Singaporean or even Honkie can lay claim to it with its birth place in Klang. Like all great dishes, it has very working class roots & was probably devised as a means to cook all the "discarded" porcine parts.

2) A sign of a GREAT BKT eaterie is how many Indians are seated in it! Ever notice how Indians gravitate towards BKT? And let's face it, Indians are very CONSERVATIVE diners. Me has seen olde aunties in their saris, y'know the ones that won't even eat thosai outside their own kitchens, happily digging in. Maybe coz its such a wonderful post-thani supper . . . ?

3) Many "purists" say the claypot is a KL thing & adds fook all to the flavour. That may be true, but the claypot keeps the broth bubbling hot that little bit longer & that, in me humble book, is well worth the effort.

Ok, me is off fer me weekly dose of Love Soup & cordially invite ye to share yer thoughts on this wonderful dish &, of course, yer fave BKT hang outs.

Metal Humour!

Found these on youtube. Hope it brightens up yer day by eliciting a loud guffaw or two . . .

RIP - Austin

Ye was a mangy, scrawny dawg when we rescued ye from PAWS.

Ye ate & ate & ate till ye were round enough to show yer displeasure at the menu.

Ye had a BO that was . . . errrmmmm . . . . . 'strong' to say the least.

Ye was wild & couldnae be let off the leash.

But we loved ye & ye loved us back.

We are sorry if ye felt neglected the last few months.

We will always remember ye fer how ye brightened up our little corner of the world.

Austin - passed on today peacefully due to old age . . .

Wot's the appeal . . .?

Am often asked wot is the fooking appeal of Italian marques as me has been raving about em like a rabid dawg since getting one recently. Me thinks a pix (or several of them) will convey the answer more eloquently than me ever could. Ye see when a dude stares at this . . .
He is actually dreaming of this . . .

And when someone with rather deeper pockets sets his eyes on one of these . . .

He is actually aiming fer a bit of this . . .

A fella who will mortgage his home & quite possibly his soul fer a taste of this . . .

Is really smacking his lips in anticipation of this . . .

A dude who opts fer this blacker-than-nite affair . . .

will feel he's with her even on a solo ride across state lines . . .

This is all in spite of the repeated warnings that wot's in store is a whole shit load of this . . .

Several post-scripts:

1) Women are always accussing us having only one thing on our mind . . . know wot, they're fooking right . . . Buying an Italian merely confirms wot everyone knows - yer a horny lil' devil.

2) We are just BOYS & their TOYS. We never learn, we never fooking grow up . . . So why not act out yer automotive fantasies with some of the most delectable cars ever to be made.

3) Cars are an extension of our personalities. People who say they are not bothered by wot they drive are basically declaring . . . (insert appropriate put down here) . . .

4) Yes, cars are penile extensions. So fooking wot? So are ties & every fooker's got one on!(*So its kinda scary if ye drives a Nissan Sylphy - its like saying ye've got some sorta STD!!!*).

5) Automotive style is not price sensitive. Fer example, a pre-owned pocket rocket like a Fiat Punto HGT costs less than a fooking Viva.

6) Different strokes fer diff folks, some will say . . . yeah, yeah . . . Its like saying ye don't dig Monica which means yer either BLIND or . . .

Get the picture?

Even Better in High Definition

Me vividly remembers sticking on the VHS of The Song Remain the Same at Nicko Mun's abode many, many fooking moons ago & him registering his utter disgust at how Jimmy Page, despite being strung out on H, could play like that. A budding guitar hero in the making, me friend was not amused at the consumate ease Page plucked them notes. "Basterd" was his sentiments if memory serves me right.

Once this tune was so overplayed that it was considered the very epitome of bombastic 70s rock opera. Having being reduced to cliche in some quarters, it became the butt of Wayne's World punchlines & became the calling card fer fuddy duddy classic rockers (ie prone to giving "they just don't make them like they used to"-type lectures).

But having stumbled upon this high def version of this epic performance on youtube recently, me was again reminded of a few startling facts:

1) How the band could make an enormodome like Madison Square Garden seem like a small cosy niteclub.

2) The ultra "fit" of Robert Plant's hipster jeans.

3) The sheer austerity of the stage show.

4) And, the simple fact, that this remains one of the greatest fooking songs ever.

A Couple of Italians hanging out in Puchong . . .

Me folks had invited a few relatives over fer Diwali & one of me cousin's hubby brought along his new plaything . . .

Took the opportunity to get a "family shot" of the Yella Beast with its Modena sibling.

Some glamorous behinds . . .

Also made sure kiddo got a feel of that rarefied Italian cockpit.

Now that's wot ye calls a proper upbringing . . .

Hope ye all are having a blast of a Diwali weekend . . . me knows Seth is.

Happy Diwali!

Wishing all of ye a very Happy Diwali!

Patriot Games

The vid above & the pix below says it all really . . .

Lost fer words . . .

Incredible but true . . . this is how lost some of the VVIPs are when they think such vids are inspiring or heart-warming.

Undilah Barisan nasional & this is wot ye'll get.

Effing astonishing . . .

Atomic Power

Love Top Gear, abso-fooking-lutely love this clip.

The sheer power of the damn thing is frightening.

Wonder if the day will come when such (yet not ridiclously expensive) exotica will ever reach these shores. Can ye just imagine going round a track in this or going on a hill climb?

Probably the most fun one can have with their clothes on.

Do enjoy the video & share yer comments.

ps: Apologies fer more automotive porn . . .

Focus & Discipline

Talk about fooking focus & discipline!

The consunmate ease in which he pushed his machine into the redline & the ability to keep them neat lines despite the skimpily-attired distraction.

Cool or wot!!?!

Me thinks this should be mandotory viewing fer all students looking to apply unwavering attention to the task at hand.

ps: East meets West - bmw with honda power plant.

Use yer power!

One state stripping him of his title ain't enough if we are to rid our society of this right-wing scum (see http://www.nst.com.my/nst/articles/8dat/Article).

To everyone who is sick and tired of listening to this basterd spew racist crap & fer the authorities to continously tip toe around him fer fear of upsetting the party warlords, well, you knows wot to do.

Vote. And get everyone else ye knows who has not visited the post office to do so.

Its the dignified & civilised thing to do. Not to mention moral & ethical duty . . .

Hicks & Gillettte . . . Please fook off!

Well, latest news confirms two bids - one American & one Asian fer our beloved club.

The two hated basterd yanks who are currently squeezing the life out of our club have tried to block a sale by ousting other directors. Legal proceedings are at hand.

On the pitch, we lie in the arse end of the table.

But to whine, moan & groan at this crucial juncture of our club's history would be the wrong fooking thing to do. To repeat a fellow Kopite's rallying cry, its time fer us to stand tall & proud coz its easy to sing when yer fooking winning.

Its at times like these true fans make themselves known. Take nay shite from "others" & sign up fer various online protests campaigns (http://www.spiritofshankly.com/) to ensure our club survives this hated regime.

YNWA!

Subversive Punk, Where Art Thou?

There is something very wrong with the youth of today when:

a) Punk is a mere fashion statement. ("Spiky hair with dye").

b) They cannae name a single song which has an anti-war message (even though they live in an age of televised conflicts 24/7).

c) Michael Jackson is deified but the kids don't know either Billie Jean or Beat It.

d) Jazz is defined as 'easy listening'.

Anyone else care to add to the list?

Thank fook fer . . .

Thank fook fer Sesame Street. Now that me telly has been hogged by Master Seth, at least this programme is packed full of decent tunes.

ps: Kate Pery's performances on the latest series has been axed!

Diver's car fer sale

At the risk of turning Fer Fook's Sake into a used car forum, me is posting this on behalf of one of our fellow bloggers - Tuan Nanda "Saints" Kumar.

He's letting his beloved ride go fer RM70k (or a warehouse full of Jack's) . . .

Call him if ye feels like going German.

Finlandia's Finest! (Kalmah: 12 Gauge)

The advent of cheap original CDs (& the office blocking download links) has actually made me wanna step into record emporiums again. Some of the local distributors are pricing metal CDs at RM19.90 & this actually gave me the impetus to try something new.

This Finnish outfit was one such discovery. Melodic death metal is their game (watch hilariously amateurish video below fer a taster) &, fooking hell, they do it well.

Plenty of soaring fretwork & riffs thick enough to shake yer foundations so to speak. Won't wax lyrical other than to say they are cut very much from the same cloth as Children of Bodom.

Go on, inject some new metal into yer system. Ye won't regret it!

To download Kalmah's 12 Gauge (2010), please click here: http://www.mediafire.com/?qftzzamgjky

Unleash the inner racerboy!

Ever wanted a car that just screamed SPEED DEMON? Ever wished ye had a hobby car just so ye can unleash the weekend racer that lurks deep in the inner recesses of yer juvenile psyche?

Spotted this lil red riding hood in ItaliaAuto forum & ye can revive yer F1/Rally/Vin Diesel alter ego with just 20 big ones . . .

Fer more details: http://www.italiaauto.net/viewtopic.php?f=20&t=21470

Go on, get it . . . ye knows ye fooking wants it!

Poor career choices

She admits to having a comfy life with an elite private education & all the nice, fluffy stuff a girl of a successful actor could ask fer.

Yet, upon turning 18, she feels the best way to "launch" her career is to do a porn film. At the risk of sounding fooking judgemental, me thinks this young lady has been talking to the wrong career counsellors!

She thanks Miss Kardashian fer this having seen her leaked sex tape do no harm to her career. Wot is the world coming to when teens cannae tell the diff between "leaked tape" & bona fide hardcore porn?

Is she mentally unsound or just a product iof our times when people like Paris Hilton are celebrated fer their sexploits?

For more details, click here.

Sad, but true . . .

ps: When dear old dad was 18, he was shooting classic scenes like these (see vid below)

History Lessons

Ye would've thought that starting a World War & committing genocide to the tune of six million would have guaranteed ye notoriety and infamy ad infinitum. But in this digital age, Mein Fuhrer doesn't even register as a recognisable blip on yer typical teenager's radar (or should that read modem?).

Me kids ye not. Me recently found out that the new student helper in me office had nay fooking clue who this moustached villain was or that he even had a fooking moustache! Not only did he profess COMPLETE & UTTER IGNORANCE, he was unable to identify the despot from a group pix (with some SS officers). His justification, "Not relevant to me."

The mind fooking boggles.

Shocked & appalled, me quickly set out to belittle him by asking the next student who came in 'do ye know the name Adolf Hitler?'. That's when the real shock came as me was met with another blank fooking look. Ye know the look people gives ye when yer speaking fooking gibberish. Like yer some loony on bad acid.

To cut a long story short, nine out of 10 local students asked, did not know Adolf Hitler (international students did not seem to suffer from this brain freeze - scoring a 10/10).

Me is truly at a fooking loss.

Remember how we used to laugh long & hard at documentaries showing stupid American kids who knew fook all about the world outside of Cheeseburger Central? Malaysia Boleh indeed . . .

ps: "Those who don't know history are destined to repeat it." - Edmund Burke (1729-1997), British Statesman.

Heavy Hindu Metal!

Most old timers will remember before Shelter there was this bunch of tattooed hoolies who embraced the peaceful meditations of the Hare Krishna sect. Didnae seem to stop them from making an almighty racket though.

Part of the crossover punk/thrash movement of the late 80s alongside bands such as DRI & Agnostic Front, Cro-Mags existed beyond that of mere novelty. Lyrics inspired by the holy books & thick crunching guitars saw them gain quite a following. Though their careers were short-lived, this LP still sounds fresh today & will inspire many lively dandruff removal sessions!

This album is testament that violent-sounding music need not cause ye to lead a violent life. Enjoy!

To download, Cromag's Best Wishes (1989), please click here: http://www.mediafire.com/?9uwlajahblg

Little Boys' Toys

Saw this in a back-dated issue of Octane mag & is a three-gear, pedal-powered junior sports car fer three-six year olds, produced by Morgan, UK, as part of their centenary celebrations last year.

And although me Master Seth is still a few months shy of his first birthday bash, me will have to start saving now if me wants to get him this. Why? Price fer this lil toy . . . a cool three thousand quid!!!



Donations to the 'Master Seth's Morgan Project' are welcome. Cheques accepted.

ps: Wifey has niggling suspicion that above three wheeler is fer me benefit, not Seth's. Me reassures her that me doubts the cockpit will be able to fit me ample frame . . .

The season is well &truly upon us!

Caption: A young Kopite is dejected after Pepe's blunder . . .

Ah well, despite a near disastrous outing with the MyRawk dudes (not their fault but fooking Astro's!!!), me was sufficiently pleased with the outcome of our season opener.

Great thing about the start of every football season is that it brings a sliver of opitmism to all concerned, even to hardened cynics like meself. Let season roll on!

Not-so-fast & Furious!

Despite having been interested in cars fer a long time, me has never been active in any motoring club. But this morning, wifey & meself made the effort to roll out of bed fer our maiden Ulu Yam run. Don't know why, but the Italian bug has bitten hard & has certainly given a fresh twist to weekend activities (goodbye lingering hangovers, hello teetotal morning drives!).

Bout 20 other enthusiasts (or lunatics depending on yer standpoint) gathered at Batu Caves fer the flag off & we were soon to experience yet another glorious chapter in this so-called midlife crisis of mine. The twisty, bendy B-roads leading to Ulu Yam certainly makes fer challenging driving & with most of these guys seasoned veterans of the route & having fooking throttle-heavy feet, it was quite the adventure especially fer novice (& conservative) drivers like meself!

But hey, as the participants were keen to stress, biar mati eksyen, jangan mati accident. Safety first & we was repeatedly reminded to enjoy ourselves & to drive at our own pace. Easier said than done when most of the cars start zipping past ye & disappearing off into the horizon!

Pix above demonstrate the quirky demands of our beloved rides as most took the scheduled breaks to give the engines a little breather. Don't really think ye sees the Porche/Beemer/insert-appropriate-reliable-marque having fag breaks with their fooking hoods up! But therein lies the charm of these wonderfully idiosyncratic machines. Unreliable they may be & even expensive to maintain, there's something bout them Italian breeds that just makes us obsessive (think Cameron Diaz in Something About Mary & ye gets the picture).

Me has longed heard of Italian car owners waxing lyrical about their rides despite spending most of their time in garages & have often wondered wot is it bout these cars that engendered such fervent passion & pride. This trip has made it even clearer. Despite the mystery "sounds" that emanate from various crevices, the dodgy temp gauge ("how hot was yer car?" was an oft-asked question during the run) & being at the arse end of the contingent, me still emerged feeling exhilarated, thrilled & pleased-as-Willie-fooking-Wonka-in-the-choc-factory.

Fun, camaraderie & the simple pleasure of taking yer ride out on some nice winding route. Fooking brilliant!

Counting me blessings

Life is good . . . & me is a lucky fooker.

Get Shirty

Ye've got to hand it to them, these ruling coalition muthafookers. They truly are master manipulators & sly-as-fooking-fox shit-stirrers.

In case ye haven't heard, some half-arsed cleric has stoked the fires by calling fer a ban on certain football jerseys. And quite knowingly decided to stir the hornet's nest by singling out the glory hunter factory that is man yew. (http://news.malaysia.msn.com/weird-news/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4232887)

And typically responding by accussing said cleric as a Kopite, these effing khants conveniently forget the REAL issue at hand.

HARGA PETROL NAIK LAGI LA BODOH!!!!

Boys & Their Toys

Being a new dad pretty much means me is cooped at home most weekends. So last Saturday night me decided it was good time to try out me new toy - a Black & Decker orbital polisher.

Started the wash at 10pm & since this was me debut effort with the machine, it took longer than the usual bicep-powered method. Careful not to scratch the surface, me managed to finally finish the polishing & waxing at the ungodly hour of 3am! (Neighbour thought me was fooking nuts).

But this was the result . . .

Not bad fer a first time if me says so meself . . .

Feeling quite pleased with the effort, there was enough time fer a "small" reward just before the crack of dawn.

ps: Of course, following tradition, if ye wash yer car, it will rain. And since me washed, polished & waxed the car, it fooking pissed down with rain the ENTIRE fooking Sunday . . . Ah well, good excuse to crack open a few more beers next weekend . . .